Oh no, back again

[Eugan60]

Back for the third time. I'm 60 years old, pretty intelligent I think, until I've had a couple of drinks. The first time here I went 35 days AF, then convinced myself I could moderate. That worked for a few weeks, then the gradual slide backwards began. My second visit lasted 2 days, convinced myself I was ok.

Now, I've totally collapsed! My most embarrassing moment yet, last night I wet the bed. Yep, dreamed I was somewhere else! I guess I just can't moderate, AF the only way out for me. I hope you guys will help, because I'm done! No more embarrassment for me!
:argh::argh::argh:

[Doggygirl]

Oh no, back again

Welcome back. I had to go through that very same progression myself to get it, once and for all, that I cannot drink SAFELY, ever. Once I fully let go of that tiny little part of my brain that kept thinking I could moderate, the AF job got a little easier. Hope that is your experience too.

There is way to much GOOD LIVING out there to spend my time suffering through the consequences of AL.

DG

[Eugan60]

Oh no, back again

Thanks!

[tonstantweader]

Oh no, back again

HI Eugan,
I'm fairly new here, but I have found that this forum has been my lifeline. I'm, well, shall we say older myself, so I've been fighting this battle most of my adult life. I really have hopes this time because I have finally admitted to myself that i am an alcoholic and that I simply cannot moderate. it's all or nothing in terms of alcohol for me and I've chosen nothing, which then gets me everything.

[Tipplerette]

Oh no, back again

Hi there, Eugan60, born and raised in Ontario myself... actually downtown Toronto although not living in that province now. I, among others here, totally understand your decision that enough is enough. What bothers me is the constant thinking about booze ie. stopping, moderating, taking a break, getting drunk, staying sober, doing 30 days A/F.. etc.. It just takes over one's life. I did quite well this summer in moderating thanks to the gang of Pinksters I followed in the Fitness section but a disturbing thing happened on the weekend that you may or may not relate to. I went to my granddaughter's first birthday and brought a camcorder to record the outdoor party. All the babies were crawling around and the adults were on the lawn. I recorded some sweet baby antics especially of my sweet little one and behind the camera I chatted with those I was filming. I also drank about 10 to 15 oz of wine; lets say three glasses over the course of the afternoon. Did not feel or act drunk. The next day hubby and I are watching the film and I did NOT remember the conversations I had while filming. I drew a complete blank. So after three glasses of wine my memory was affected. Wierd. Scary. Anyone else have this happen with so little booze and not even being or acting drunk...

So, I should quit. There I've said it. Not moderate; quit. I think I will start a thread with this situation. I need feedback.

Tips

[Eugan60]

Oh no, back again

Thanks, like you tonstant and Tipp, have found that moderation does not work for me. It seems good for a while, then the monster takes over again!
Tipp, I can totally empathize with you. I recently, this morning in fact, received a very honest but blunt email that told me about a few things I had said the other day. I thought I was fine having only had a few beers* but I have no recollection of it at all. Kinda scary!
*This is one of the issues I have, see how I said "only a few beers" whereas in fact it was probably way more.

[Tipplerette]

Oh no, back again

Thanks, Eugan, like you I sometimes 'under' exaggerate the amount I drank. Sometimes the honest truth is hard to bear. How are you doing in your attempt to abstain? I hope this forum is helping you reach your goals.

Tips