Hiya all
I'm starting on Day 1 today- I went to bed thinking it was the 1st September but its not , is it. Anyway, I'm still starting today.
Choice - I left NZ a week ago and have got a job teaching in Malaysia.Yes the earthquakes were horrible and i had to leave. I had begun to drink very heavily after the quakes, starting in the mornings, my drink was red wine. I would drop my 6 year old at school then come home, have wine for breakfast, then I would stop by midday to sober up to make the 5minute drive to pick my son up. Then the minute I got home, i would really drink.
I felt sickened and ashamed of myself....
When I left NZ I said I wouldn't drink but the first thing I arrived at the hotel I was into the minibar.. that went on for 5 days, cocktails, beer, guinness.... with the heat here the drinking made me feel ill but I still persisted. I told myself I was very brave to move countries for the 2nd time in a year with my son and deserved a drink..
Well I know if I don't stop now it could jeopadize my new job, my health, my son and I have to be really strong. I am 48 year old single mum and have totally responsibility for my boy... I also know I have to be strong when coping with the feelings of lonliness I am having after leaving all my family and friends.. I know AL won't help.
I will stay close to this site and try and get through day 1 ( Shit!! even as I'm typing this I'm thinking well its not Sept 1st so..... maybe I could buy some vodka today, its raining, I'm not working till next week... NO NO NO - go away those thoughts!!!)
look forward to getting to know you all better
take care
patrice
Comment