i am tired of starting over

[starfairy]

i did so good. went almost a whole month now i am worse than ever. had a really bad binge and missed work today. i like myself so much better when i am clean. when i am drinking i am so down and i feel hopeless. i know i wll be clean all this week and weekend because i have a big 2 day art event so i will work on getting clean this week....day one is the worse because i just want to bury my head and cry

[K9Lover]

i am tired of starting over

Hi Star :l
I'm so sorry you're having a hard time. I know how hard it is to start over again and again. I did it for years. What made you start drinking again? For me, it was never one particular reason...mostly boredom I guess. All I know is I got so tired of the cycle. Drinking became too much work. I was missing work a lot, and feeling like crap every day. And I was becoming someone I didn't like very much. I understand exactly where you're coming from. Are you able to maybe talk to a doctor about it? Please keep us posted on how you're doing.
:h
K9

[mario]

i am tired of starting over

Starting over is always hard to do starfairy, But if you can remember what your triggers were and learn from the mistakes you have made you will be more prepared for the next time,keep at it and don't quit quiting.:-)

[WineSucks]

i am tired of starting over

Star - I am not the best one to give advise but I just wanted to send you a big hug and to let you know that you can do this. Getting 30 days is challenging and it took me numerous attempts. Sometimes, like you, I would get almost to the goal and then mess up. Like K9 said, I too was missing alot of work and spending time being depressed from being hung over and it just takes too much effort. I recently tried to moderate after getting 30 days AF and although I haven't had horrible binge yet, I can see that its just a matter of time and that for me, moderation isn't a good idea so I'm back on the AF train again. We have a thread called "All I want is 30 days AF" but some of us are well over 30 days and we've become good friends. Please join us over there......we all try to check in daily to help motivate each other. Hang in there....you can do this!

[RitaNow]

i am tired of starting over

Star - I know you are frustrated and discouraged, but please go gentle on yourself - pat yourself on the back for getting the 30 days and recommit to getting back on the wagon. I think one of the hardest things about falling is the LOSS of the run in days. It does something to our head. Maybe that's were the "one day at a time" really does have value. It's like being on a diet. If we "blow it" - we somehow give ourselves permission just to blow it even bigger and "start" tomorrow ... but tomorrow may never come. So - dust yourself off - and get right back on that wagon. YOU have proven that you can do 30 days. Now you KNOW you can do them again. So here you go - right with us here. There are plenty of us right here with you. You are not alone.

Pulling for you ... come on and get up ... you have all it takes!