All I want is ONE day!

[kukani39]

I have read all the posts in here, saying AF for 1 week, or 30 days. It makes me sad. I can't seem to even conquer 1 day! I feel sad and pathetic. Every morning I wake up with a wine hangover, hide the empty bottle and vow not to repeat it that evening. Every evening the awful thoughts start in me - must have a drink, go get wine. It is leading to missed days at work, no energy to play with my little boy, rows with my boyfriend, fear that I will get caught. Too embarrassed to tell someone I am going under, ashamed of my lifestyle but having no power over myself to get out of it!

I read the book over a month ago, bought all the vitamins, downloaded self help audios, everything book go to the doctor as live in UK. I can't stop! I truly hate myself.

Today is yet again, DAY ONE. It is 3pm and I am already cajoling and arguing with myself not to get wine. Please can someone help me to make a break. I don't want this life anymore, I want to be happy and in control.

Kukani x:upset:

[sunshine_gg]

All I want is ONE day!

Can you get to chat, kukani???

[Marshy]

All I want is ONE day!

Hi Kukani,

I know how hard it is to get through that first day.

I had to get really tough with myself and not take money out with me when I went to work so I couldn't buy alcohol on the way home, and have a way of distracting myself in the evenings so I didn't go out to buy alcohol. I spent many an hour in the bath reading books when I got that antsy feeling of wanting to drink!

Posting here when you're feeling like drinking can help. Have you read the toolbox thread? Link here: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html have a look at the ideas in there and see what clicks with you.

[free at last]

All I want is ONE day!

DEar Kukani,
I have tried to stop drinking six times this year and am now committed to really making it happen. I find that if you can think of the cravings as something you surf, that it helps. On Saturday night I so wanted to go out and buy a bottle of wine. I made myself stay inside and do chores, anything until the craving passed (it was about 1.5 hours long!). Then, went out to walk my dog with no money in my pocket. I have only made it to 14 days this year so am not an expert by any means but you among people who are supportive and many have achieved sobriety. Keep close to the website.

[Lavande]

All I want is ONE day!

Hi Kukani,

Boy do I remember that feeling!

Like Marshy I finally had to get tough & just stop the nonsense. I made a big deal of dumping the last bottle of wine down the drain & vowed to never ever buy more! I used to MWO CDs & kept myself as busy as possible. When a drinking thought came I just waited it out & pretty soon the thoughts came less frequently. This is not an easy process but it is doable. Stay connected to MWO, keep reading & posting because we're all here to help.

Lav

[gregorino]

All I want is ONE day!

Hello Kukani and Welcome

You may try thinking of your issue with AL as a disease. And in all actuality, it really is. Some people are born with the normal drinking gene, and some people, like us, are born with the abnormal drinking gene. It's no big deal, it just happens, just like some people are born with diabetes and others are not.
So, let's say you're a diabetic. You're well aware of this, but you lead a very normal and successful life because you carefully manage your disease. You don't stop at the store after work and grab a 5 lb bag of sugar - of course not - that would be silly!
So, now let's say you have the disease of alcoholism. You lead a very normal and successful life because you carefully manage your disease. You don't stop at the store after work and grab a 1.5L bottle of wine - of course not - that would be silly!
I'm not trying to over-simplify this, but in the beginning, the disease analogy really worked for me. I do not have the normal drinking gene - I have the other one. It's OK, I can deal with it and I can manage my disease.
Exercise for sure. It can replace the cravings with some beneficial chemicals in the ol noggin! Do you have the CD's (abstinence version). I diod those religiously the first few weeks, and they are great for those times when you get a little antsy. I still have the sleep CD playing continuously all night because I need the change in thinking to be solid and permanent.
Yes, the first few days and weeks can be challenging - and you can get lots of support here too - just reading posts can calm you down. Do also stop in at the Newbie Nest - You'll find a great group there; some just getting going and others with some quality time sober.
Wishing you well, and don't be a stranger!

[mario]

All I want is ONE day!

kukani 39
The immediate object of our goal is sobriety, free from alcohol and all its terrible consequences
without this freedom we have nothing at all,But at the same time we can achieve no freedom from alcohol obsession until we become willing to deal with those character flaws which landed us into that condition in the first place, In this freedom we have a few choices, A refusal to work upon our issues can be an almost certain way of failing in our goals,or perhaps we can,for a time stay sober with a minimum of self improvement and settle ourselves into a comfortable but often dangerous way of drinking fighting with oneself whether to have another one or another one, Or we can like a lot of long term abstainers here continuously try hard for those s qualities that can add up to a much more fulfilling & happy life,Taking it one day at a time and building on your daily successes will help you,keep posting here and sharing what your going through as we all can relate to it.goodluck and don't quit quitting.

[Accountable for Me]

All I want is ONE day!

Welcome!

I remember those days all too well!! I thought I would die from drinking. I couldn't squeak in 1 day for the life of me way back when. Much the same rollercoaster you are on. Buying wine every evening. Unfortunately, alcoholism took a real huge hold on me and I started to drink vodka, started to drink in the mornings eventually. Was fired from two jobs back in 03/04 thanks to my desire to call in and stay at home and drink, etc.

It really can be done. SO many before you on this site has taken that first step. For me here are some tips that really helped me.

1. Eat breakfast!!!!! (I NEVER ever EVER have a craving for alcohol all day long due to the fact I now eat breakfast).

2. Don't take money out with you for the first little while. Even, now, when I get that funny feeling that those evil thoughts are prancing in the back of my head, I will leave all money at home. yes, I still get the inkling to drink once in a while. Most of the time is because I need to have a snack or eat something.

3. Treat yourself with so much patience and kindness. Do something nice for yourself each day. Whether it is a hot bath, or a nice long walk. This is your time to start taking care of you!

4. Drink lots of clear fluids. It will de-polute your system quicker.

5. Eat. I know, I have said this before, but seriously....... I don't know about you, but if I eat properly, and all meals daily, I simply don't want to drink. A lot of us have blood sugar issues when we drink. Keeping them balanced is so important when becoming sober.

6. Additional vitamins. Vitamin B, Omega 3/6/9, Vitamin C, and whatever else you may feel you need. I take Calcium, Vitamin D and Magnesium as well.

Hang in there and just do it!!!! The hardest part is taking that first step!

[daisy45]

All I want is ONE day!

Kukani, hope you're still about. Pop in and let us know how you're feeling. As you can see from the great responses you got here, this IS doable!!! Reading this and posts from so many who have travelled the same path is what gives us hope and the proof that there is a better life ahead.
I was just like you a year ago, only it was a definite 2 bottles a night. I am not sorted yet but I'm on my way. I have had enough AF days to get a taste of what life should really be like. I know we all deserve it - You included!! Try to get through your first day or evening only. Tomorrow is another day; you can deal with that when it comes.
The first step is wanting it - and you do....
Next, seek help; you're here, aren't you?
Will be thinking of you........:h

[kukani39]

All I want is ONE day!

Thank you all so much for your lovely messages. I don't feel judged or some kind of freak! I feel like a huge weight has lifted off my shoulders because I can really tell people my awful secret that I think was starting to weight heavier than the feeling of being out of control and alcohol consuming me. I went up to my sisters this evening and she always offers me wine. I texted her to not offer me as not drinking today. She then said after going to playdome they were going to pub for tea! GULP! I said no worries as long as she knew I was drinking coke. And that was what I had!!! For the first time in I cannot remember this is my first night without drinking any alcohol. I am sat here with a bottle of fizzy water, in my pjs thinking I will go to bed and first day over!!

I know tomorrow is a whole new battle but at least I got through day one. Thank you all so much once again xx Any the even nicer thing is that I have no empty bottles to hide!

[daisy45]

All I want is ONE day!

Good on you Kukani; you did more than not just drink - you resisted temptation!!! Can't wait to read your morning post. Sleep well..........zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Lavande]

All I want is ONE day!

:goodjob: Kukani!

Keep going!!!!

[Irie]

All I want is ONE day!

Good for you! I'm in the same boat as you, except now I can string two or three days together, after a lot of work. It's so hard to admit how hard it is to kick this, but everyone here knows. Stick around. I'm seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and you will, too. All the best to you, Kukani.

[tonstantweader]

All I want is ONE day!

Kukani,
Just want to add my welcome. I remember wondering if I could make it through one day, but I did, then made it through the next and the next. It really is true to take it one day at a time. Don't let yourself think too far ahead, just enjoy being sober in the here and now. And keep close to the boards. The two times I've slipped were when I wasn't posting much here.

[Irie]

All I want is ONE day!

Good to see you back, Tonstant. I'm not all caught up here. I hope things are much better for your husband.