Hi everyone.
Today is day 3 for me. I haven't made it to day 3 since this last June (I made 5 whole days) and prior to that, I couldn't tell you when...probably May of 2008 when I gave birth to my youngest DD. My oldest DD will by 14 next month, the exact day of my anticipated...wait, no, EXPECTED, 30 days AF. I am doing this for them as much as myself. I have taken so many risks, driven when I shouldn't (REALLY REALLY shouldn't), risked my job as a nurse, spent more money than we have, risked my kids lives, my lives, the list goes on. As of my last drunk on 9/20, I was drinking upwards of 1/2 of a 1.75 bottle of vodka..maybe a few beers thrown in for good measure. I was hiding vodka mixed with gatorade or vitamin water all over the place so the amount in the 'main' bottle in the freezer didn't go down too quickly. Husband drinks too, but is much more controlled and functional than I. Sometimes I was too shaky in the AM to draw patients blood, or drive to their house for that matter, so I'd have a drink or two to steady my nerves. I NEVER stopped drinking once I started, so that meant that my day better end early so I could get to drinkin. The things I've said and done over the years amaze me now that I have a teeny bit of clarity. I grew up in an alcoholic family...just about EVERY relative at least a 'problem' drinker.
I have been reading the Tool Box like crazy, all the old posts, I do have Ativan that I'm using in the evening and hopefully will not need by tomorrow. I am surprised with all that I was taking in that I haven't had worse withdrawal symptoms. I know the 5 day deal, so I'm watching my BP and general 'status'
Anyways, I just wanted to introduce myself and say THANK you to the wonderful supportive people here, especially in the Newbies Nest. I have moved in and I brought all my stuff, so I ain't leavin'!
xoxo
Today is day 3 for me. I haven't made it to day 3 since this last June (I made 5 whole days) and prior to that, I couldn't tell you when...probably May of 2008 when I gave birth to my youngest DD. My oldest DD will by 14 next month, the exact day of my anticipated...wait, no, EXPECTED, 30 days AF. I am doing this for them as much as myself. I have taken so many risks, driven when I shouldn't (REALLY REALLY shouldn't), risked my job as a nurse, spent more money than we have, risked my kids lives, my lives, the list goes on. As of my last drunk on 9/20, I was drinking upwards of 1/2 of a 1.75 bottle of vodka..maybe a few beers thrown in for good measure. I was hiding vodka mixed with gatorade or vitamin water all over the place so the amount in the 'main' bottle in the freezer didn't go down too quickly. Husband drinks too, but is much more controlled and functional than I. Sometimes I was too shaky in the AM to draw patients blood, or drive to their house for that matter, so I'd have a drink or two to steady my nerves. I NEVER stopped drinking once I started, so that meant that my day better end early so I could get to drinkin. The things I've said and done over the years amaze me now that I have a teeny bit of clarity. I grew up in an alcoholic family...just about EVERY relative at least a 'problem' drinker.
I have been reading the Tool Box like crazy, all the old posts, I do have Ativan that I'm using in the evening and hopefully will not need by tomorrow. I am surprised with all that I was taking in that I haven't had worse withdrawal symptoms. I know the 5 day deal, so I'm watching my BP and general 'status'
Anyways, I just wanted to introduce myself and say THANK you to the wonderful supportive people here, especially in the Newbies Nest. I have moved in and I brought all my stuff, so I ain't leavin'!
xoxo
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