How bad off am I?

[Jaque]

Hello folks, happy to make my first post. Just trying to get my head on straight about my situation from people who have 'been there' or are there.

43, married, two kids, successful business owner. Since 21-23 y/o, I've been a habitual drinker. Occasional knock down drag out drinking binges with buddies, but that's not common and mainly it's my nightly routine that I feel is problematic. 1-1.5 bottles of red wine/night, starting at 6PM or so as I help with dinner, or make dinner (I love to cook, and eat ) This has been my pattern for at least 10 years, when I switched from 4-5 beers/night to wine.

A week ago I started the HCG diet; I have about 30-35lbs to lose. It's a super strict, low calorie regimen that actually works, though controversial. On it, you can't drink, and I take an HCG injection every morning, and under doctors supervision is a bit pricey. I chose the diet for its effectiveness, strictness and supervision.

I do struggle in the evening with not having my old friend next to me, usually a bottle of Rodney Strong or the like. Not the shakes or anything, but it just feels 'weird'.

I'll be on this diet for 40 days and while I've heard of people cheating, I want to prove to myself I can go this entire stretch w/o cheating. I drink so much damn green tea now its ridiculous. LOL. I also now take melatonin so I can sleep, as I used to rely on the wine to put me down.

Anyway, two questions:

- Does my behavior classify me as an alcoholic? Obviously not the kind that you see in the street with a paper bag full of mad dog begging for money, and while it impacts my next day, I still hit it pretty hard and achieve a lot.

- Is it unrealistic to think that I can go to just 1-2 drinks per night after I go through this purging? I am hopeful that starting a gym routine will have me more in a health mode and I relegate drinking to an after dinner activity after I have food in my belly.

Thanks all!

[greeneyes]

How bad off am I?

Hi jaque and welcome!
For myself, it wasn't so much if I defined myself as an alcoholic, but that it was interferring with my life (that's an understatement actually). Lots of people here started out with the problematic 1 to 1/5 bottles or whatever a night and ended up progressing to the point of loosing friends, jobs, businesses, families. Many say they wish they had quit back when it was just problematic. It can really get a hold on you.

So, even if you don't feel you are an alcoholic, do you wonder what you could achieve if you were not impacted the next day?

Can you do the 1-2 after your your purge? I guess you'll find out. Personally, I tried that after a year without alcohol and it did not go well. Maybe after the 40 days you see that you feel so good you won't want to drink.

Meantime, you can look at this thread to help you with the nightly craving https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html and consider taking l-glutamine. Also, what about decaf green tea? Might help with the sleep issue. BTW, that gets better when the alcohol has been out of your system for a little while.

Best to you on the 40 days! I bet you'll feel fantastic!

[Lavande]

How bad off am I?

Hi jaque,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!
I was just your age when I started the nightly wine drinking too! I blamed it on stress, I felt I deserved it, used all of the usual excuses. But push finally came to shove & I decided I had to stop! It wasn't easy but I had to do it anyway for various reasons. I started here at MWO hoping after doing 30 AF days I could go back to having just on eor two glasses at night. But as I approached the end of the thirty days I asked myself honestly if I was really ready for just one or two glasses & the answer was NO!

That's when my thinking changed & I decided that it is just not realistic for me to try to drink moderately. In fact it's just easier to remain AF. It is out of my thoughts, the option is off the table

Take a look at the CDs in the Heath store here. They really helped me to relax without AL & change my thinking about it altogether.

Best of luck to you on the HCG diet! BTW, I drink up to two quarts of decaf green tea everyday - love the stuff

Lav

[Marshy]

How bad off am I?

Welcome Jaque!

I think you'll have more of an idea of the answers to your questions after your 40-day challenge. You'll certainly feel better after getting the alcohol out of your system. Let us know how you're getting on.

[Guest]

How bad off am I?

Only a small proportion of alcoholics are those sat on benches with their head in a bag. Most are people who hold down jobs, pay the bills etc but that can swiftly change. I'd say if you can go 40 days without being too bothered, then you might just be a heavy drinker.

[Crunchy]

How bad off am I?

I think that you sound a lot like me. The purging thing is not good though. Normal people do not force themselves to vomit. Normal people do not vomit voluntarily. If you are doing that, you are trying to live. Normal people do not try to live by vomiting. Whatever diet you are on or however much weight you are trying to lose by vomiting does not matter.

You are trying to live by vomiting. Does that sound like something that a healthy, normal person would do?

[Jaque]

How bad off am I?

Crunchy;1183688 wrote: I think that you sound a lot like me. The purging thing is not good though. Normal people do not force themselves to vomit. Normal people do not vomit voluntarily. If you are doing that, you are trying to live. Normal people do not try to live by vomiting. Whatever diet you are on or however much weight you are trying to lose by vomiting does not matter.

You are trying to live by vomiting. Does that sound like something that a healthy, normal person would do?

I can't tell if you are joking??

In any event no vomiting here, LOL. By purging I meant 40 days AF while following the diet under my doctor's watch.

Greeneyes, yeah, the habitual 'drinking' part had to be replaced with a beverage, so I drink decaf green tea in the evening. I'm drinking a mug right now.

Thanks all for your responses and the links.

Cheers,

Jaque

[Doggygirl]

How bad off am I?

Jaque, I think Crunchy definitely misunderstood your message.

Good luck to you sorting this out. Most of us got here by doing the same sort of soul searching and questioning that you are doing.

I'll be interested to hear how HCG goes. Been hearing a lot about that lately.

DG

[DriftyAlison0]

How bad off am I?

I say, if you feel that your drinking is a problem, then chances are it is a problem. I quit while I wasn't as bad as other members here, but I wanted to quit before it got that severe so I did. Some people (usually its 30 days but in your case its 40) moderate their drinking after their 30 days. Most here can't do it, but if you feel like modding maybe for you, read up on it and set up a plan. I modded for a period of time with pretty good results, but I was slipping in the end so I just quit for good.

[Irie]

How bad off am I?

Welcome, Jaque! We have a lot in common. I am also working on breaking a 1 to 1.5 a night of wine habit and I'm on the 3rd day of the very low calorie segment of the HCG diet. Today is my 4th night without wine.

I'd love to come to the end of my 40 days at my ideal weight and with more than a month of AF nights under my (tiny ...ha ha) belt. Looking forward to working on our challenges (diet and drinking) together.

[Jaque]

How bad off am I?

Thanks all again.

Irie, sounds great! Not sure how much you've read about hcg, but I've read a fair bit and there are pretty strong claims about the craving dissipating after a week on the diet. Makes sense since hcg is a type of ketogenic diet that relies on ketosis to burn fat in the absence of carbs (or alcohol). My hope was that a strict diet, low carb, with measurable results will provide the structure to get me through this period of AF. I find myself thinking "man I'd really love a glass of cab right now but I want to be skinny more."

Seems like a great forum here. I'm intrigued by the L-Glut. Will go to GNC and buy the powdered kind to take before I leave home from work.

I've seen people mention 'witching hour'. Damn, didn't know others drank like me. I typically want nothing to do with booze during the day, but by the time 6pm-7pm rolls around I can't wait to pop the cork on another bottle. So I think the glutamine will be a real help in this respect.

I've also noticed that after I eat a big meal, I typically don't want any more alcohol.

Simple plan: stay off the sauce for 40 days, workout in late afternoon and eat. Promise myself no booze until I have food in my belly and get past witching hour. I'm hopeful I can drink moderately with a new structure on place, after dinner.

I guess the journey is different for everyone. Fingers crossed!

[Irie]

How bad off am I?

How did you do today, Jaque? Did you stick to your goals?

[Jaque]

How bad off am I?

Sure did. How about you Irie?

Another day down, and it was difficult b/c I'm traveling on business right now and I'm accustomed to drinking while staying in hotels while traveling. But so far so good.

[Irie]

How bad off am I?

Yes, I did! Every day I'm waking up just a little happier than the day before.

I can sure relate to hotel room drinking. I travel for work, too, a few times a month. Definitely a drinking trigger for me, too. Especially, since I'm typically traveling to a meeting that won't start until 9 or 10 am, so I know I'll have plenty of time to shake off the thick head from the previous night's bottle of wine before I have to be around anyone. Hopefully that's all a thing of the past.

Hope you get through your trip successfully!

[Jaque]

How bad off am I?

How'd today go? I made it back from Dallas w/o cheating on the diet or drinking. AF and HCG = major changes and my body doesn't know WTF is going. Weird, I wake up groggy, then quickly clear headed, then cash out early in the evening even w/o the wine.

I hear you. I roll into customer offices at 9.30 usually; can stay up late drinking at my fav bar/restaurant eating and killing a bottle of wine or two. I always justified it by rationalizing that business travel is a hardship and drinking and over eating were 'earned.'