Do/did you feel like this?

[mauritiusdodo]

Ok so I think I WANT to quit drinking but actually I don't - I know that for my health, wellbeing and sanity I NEED to and part of me wants to but most of my wants to carry on and just think what the hell - I am sure this is the AL having its hold over me but I just need reassurance that these thoughts are normal?

One second I hate AL and the next I love it :upset: this is just a nightmare!

[gotta stop]

Do/did you feel like this?

I am available to chat now if you want

[broken halo]

Do/did you feel like this?

mauritiuos dodo, I am on day 2 and having exactly the same internal argument as you are. A nice bottle of wine, I will only have one glass, etc. But i know I am incapable at stopping at one glass or even one bottle, so I need to get a grip. Trying to take on board all the messages about how great it is to be free and fight it. Others have done it, we can too, right?

[looking for peace]

Do/did you feel like this?

Your feelings are very normal. What stops most of us from quitting completely is that just the thought that we can never ever drink again terrifies us. We feel we will never be able to enjoy social situations or cope with the stresses in our life without alcohol. As a result we are miserable when we drink and miserable when we don't.


If this describes how you feel at all,
I suggest you read the thread in the general section "THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE". Getting past this fear and getting on with life being a happy non drinker is what the author of Kick the Drink is conveying in his book.

Good luck!

[Doggygirl]

Do/did you feel like this?

I agree that the conflicting feelings are very normal. Before I could quit, I had to make up my mind that I wanting sobriety more than I wanted a drink. I had to make that decision over and over and over again in the early AF time. The good news is that it gets a whole lot easier the more AF time you have. Now, I can't imagine going back to drinking considering the chaos that was my life.

DG

[Nelz]

Do/did you feel like this?

Yes indeed, I "wanted to/didnt want to" for many years. Like you I knew it was not the right thing to do. I certainly had a love hate relationship with AL, hated it in the AM but started wanting to see it around 3 pm......and LOVING it when I passed the first liquor store on the way home.

I finally said, enough, and its been almost 5 months to this point. Its had its share of up/downs, but all in all VERY worth it. The effects on my mind, body, and soul number one. Number two, my wallet, freaking AL gets expensive.

Best of luck to you my friend, stay strong and battle the demon with us, PM me anytime

[pingu1997]

Do/did you feel like this?

I felt like this for a while then in March something kicked me up the backside and forced me to do something about it and I haven't had a drink since
But I still think about it and moderation is still on my mind so much that is proper does my head in sometimes

[mauritiusdodo]

Do/did you feel like this?

Thank you everyone I really appreciate your advice folks I am doing my own head in with it all!

[pingu1997]

Do/did you feel like this?

keep posting or PM if you like, I wish I had found this site in the beginning, I did it on my own for the first 3 months and it was hard. But giving up is only half the battle..

[gotta stop]

Do/did you feel like this?

mauritiusdodo;1183948 wrote: Ok so I think I WANT to quit drinking but actually I don't - I know that for my health, wellbeing and sanity I NEED to and part of me wants to but most of my wants to carry on and just think what the hell - I am sure this is the AL having its hold over me but I just need reassurance that these thoughts are normal?

One second I hate AL and the next I love it :upset: this is just a nightmare!

Maur,
Unfortunately, for the alcoholic brain, yes those thoughts are quite normal. I remember those thoughts quite well. So luckily, there are many ways to attack this disease. I would suggest you have a look around and maybe see what you may think work best for you. We have those that attend AA and are finding great success, as well we have members that have purchased and read books on the subject, those that are using supplements, medicines which help reduce or remove cravings to help them either abstain or reduce theri drinking. We also have those that just downright said no more and are winning the battle.
As it has been said before, to tell yourself that you will never drink again is a pretty unfathomable statement for your alcoholic brain to take and thusly may set you up for failure. I know when I began my journey - my intent was not to "never drink again". It was to get my drinking under control. But I believe many of us that have come here, came here because deep down, we know we have already tried that it it wasnt succesful. I am happy to say that my way out has helped me achieve a life without alcohol. An easier goal for a newbie, may be a 30 day goal - some are doing this just focusing on getting through the day.
I guess my point is, decide how you would like to take this on, let us know, and let us help you. It is much easir to do with the support of those that have gone through it, than to go it alone.
Please remember, These are only my opinions and I wish you nothing but success.

[Stompy]

Do/did you feel like this?

mauritiusdodo;1184095 wrote: Thank you everyone I really appreciate your advice folks I am doing my own head in with it all!

Buddy, I know exactly how you feel. I could spend the week days writing down dozens of reasons why I shouldn't drink. However saturday can come around and I'm off out on the lash with all the chaos that comes with it.
I can go out to social occassions with work during the week and not booze but come Saturday I go off the rails.
It really is upsetting.

[mylife]

Do/did you feel like this?

I can also relate completely Mauris. For me the thoughest part of this addiction is the mental insanity. I also agree that "Kick the Drink Easily" by Jason Vale is good reading when you're going through this.

Hang in there it will get better!