New Here.
Cross posting from the books thread...
Hi Stompy,
I'm so glad my post resonated with you as yours have with me also and I've found it so heartening to read other people's stories here that I can relate to. Despite the fact that I have lots of fantastic friends, who no doubt would largely be supportive and loving were I able to fully level with them about how much I'm struggling with all this (that's another topic of discussion entirely), this feels like a very lonely struggle right now.
And I totally hear you... On the outside at least my life is still pretty good but I wonder where I would be in my life now if I'd addressed all this a decade ago? And I'm terrified of waking up at 46 and being in a far *worse* place. Reading about alcoholism, as I have been a lot of late, and people's stories here, makes me feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. My drinking has always been excessive but it has gotten worse - or at least the after-effects and the bingeing sure have - but I'm still at the stage where I can stop, at least temporarily, without much discomfort and relatively easily. It's the quitting for good that's the problem.
It sounds like you're in a similar place, no? If so, I think we both need to realise that if we don't address this seriously *now* it can, and almost certainly will, get a whole lot worse, and our ability to actually quit will likely become more and more eroded over time. One day we may find we no longer have that option. Surely it's time to quit now while we're ahead?
I also recently ordered Carr's book - it hasn't arrived yet. If you're a reader maybe you could benefit from some of the others mentioned on the book thread too? I think someone like Carr is good for motivation but I think it's also good to read somewhat more scientific stuff about the disease nature of alcoholism. For me anyway it's really opened my eyes - and, frankly, scared the living shit out of me about what may be coming if I don't get it under control. Beyond the Influence was really good for that for me and I plan to order the prequel to that book - Under the Influence - too. Let me know what you think of Carr, hey?
I would LOVE it if us newbies could maybe start a thread urging each other on in our goals and keeping each other honest. Nursie - if you're reading here too how about it? And anyone else new to this forum and struggle or who just wants some regular beginner support for that matter.
I posted about this on the 'Tell me how drinking has changed your life' thread.. but I passed my first temptation situation of the weekend with relative ease. I know I need to quit for good but for now I'm focusing on 30 days. And in the even shorter term on making it through the long weekend happily sober.
Hope you're hanging tough too.
Lilly
Cross posting from the books thread...
Stompy;1185532 wrote: :new:
Hi Lily,
Your post resonates so much with me. I could have written it myself. On the outside I have a pretty successful life, good job, promotions, ongoing study,fit etc, However this is all against a background of complete alcohol abuse at the weekends often spilling over to Monday. This almost completely negates any positives in my life. I have all the same fears you have desribed. But I am determined to mature, develop, adjust and live a happy life without alcohol. I too am 36 and fear looking back in years regretting living a sub-optimal unhealthy life. At my current rate I have very little chance of settling down into some form of family life which I would love. The only way to give myself a chance of happiness is to give up alcohol completely.
I wish you success and hope to be able to support you towards your goal.
Hi Lily,
Your post resonates so much with me. I could have written it myself. On the outside I have a pretty successful life, good job, promotions, ongoing study,fit etc, However this is all against a background of complete alcohol abuse at the weekends often spilling over to Monday. This almost completely negates any positives in my life. I have all the same fears you have desribed. But I am determined to mature, develop, adjust and live a happy life without alcohol. I too am 36 and fear looking back in years regretting living a sub-optimal unhealthy life. At my current rate I have very little chance of settling down into some form of family life which I would love. The only way to give myself a chance of happiness is to give up alcohol completely.
I wish you success and hope to be able to support you towards your goal.
I'm so glad my post resonated with you as yours have with me also and I've found it so heartening to read other people's stories here that I can relate to. Despite the fact that I have lots of fantastic friends, who no doubt would largely be supportive and loving were I able to fully level with them about how much I'm struggling with all this (that's another topic of discussion entirely), this feels like a very lonely struggle right now.
And I totally hear you... On the outside at least my life is still pretty good but I wonder where I would be in my life now if I'd addressed all this a decade ago? And I'm terrified of waking up at 46 and being in a far *worse* place. Reading about alcoholism, as I have been a lot of late, and people's stories here, makes me feel like I'm staring down the barrel of a loaded gun. My drinking has always been excessive but it has gotten worse - or at least the after-effects and the bingeing sure have - but I'm still at the stage where I can stop, at least temporarily, without much discomfort and relatively easily. It's the quitting for good that's the problem.
It sounds like you're in a similar place, no? If so, I think we both need to realise that if we don't address this seriously *now* it can, and almost certainly will, get a whole lot worse, and our ability to actually quit will likely become more and more eroded over time. One day we may find we no longer have that option. Surely it's time to quit now while we're ahead?
I also recently ordered Carr's book - it hasn't arrived yet. If you're a reader maybe you could benefit from some of the others mentioned on the book thread too? I think someone like Carr is good for motivation but I think it's also good to read somewhat more scientific stuff about the disease nature of alcoholism. For me anyway it's really opened my eyes - and, frankly, scared the living shit out of me about what may be coming if I don't get it under control. Beyond the Influence was really good for that for me and I plan to order the prequel to that book - Under the Influence - too. Let me know what you think of Carr, hey?
I would LOVE it if us newbies could maybe start a thread urging each other on in our goals and keeping each other honest. Nursie - if you're reading here too how about it? And anyone else new to this forum and struggle or who just wants some regular beginner support for that matter.
I posted about this on the 'Tell me how drinking has changed your life' thread.. but I passed my first temptation situation of the weekend with relative ease. I know I need to quit for good but for now I'm focusing on 30 days. And in the even shorter term on making it through the long weekend happily sober.
Hope you're hanging tough too.
Lilly
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