Anyone else?

[ally67]

I'm a first timer and am really happy I found this. I am 35 years old mom of one and have wine every night. Ususally around 3 or 4 glasses. Big glasses. I'm wondering if anyone else out there drinks out of boredom? I stay home with my son and my husband doesn't get home until 7. Once 5 o'clock comes around I am tired from the day with a 3 year old and bored so I pour a glass and read while my son eats his dinner. After my DH gets home he usually wants a glass so he and I share the rest of the bottle I opened. I want to stop drinking daily but every evening the wine just sounds SO good to me. I feel like I am the opposite of others with drinking problems because if my DH and I are out with friends or if it's the holidays I actually drink LESS because I'm not alone and bored. Just wondering if anyone else out there can relate and if you have any advice to help me get through the evening AF. Thanks!!!

[Road to Recovery]

Anyone else?

For me, I drank because I loved the taste and the effect it had on me. I went from drinking a couple on the weekends, or a lot in social settings, to drinking everynight in my basement, hiding my consumption from my wife - denying that I had a problem. It is a progressive disease - it doesnt happen overnight. If you are asking the question, it may be a good time to try a 30 day alcohol free stint - see where your head is after that. Just something to think about
Oh yes - Welcome!

[pingu1997]

Anyone else?

ally67;1188150 wrote: I'm a first timer and am really happy I found this. I am 35 years old mom of one and have wine every night. Ususally around 3 or 4 glasses. Big glasses. I'm wondering if anyone else out there drinks out of boredom? I stay home with my son and my husband doesn't get home until 7. Once 5 o'clock comes around I am tired from the day with a 3 year old and bored so I pour a glass and read while my son eats his dinner. After my DH gets home he usually wants a glass so he and I share the rest of the bottle I opened. I want to stop drinking daily but every evening the wine just sounds SO good to me. I feel like I am the opposite of others with drinking problems because if my DH and I are out with friends or if it's the holidays I actually drink LESS because I'm not alone and bored. Just wondering if anyone else out there can relate and if you have any advice to help me get through the evening AF. Thanks!!!

I'm a 40 yr old mum of 2 and I was drinking every night at around 4/5pm due to tiredness and frustration with the kids fighting. My OH didn't get home until gone 8 by which time I had moved onto wine and was pretty pissed. Every night. I drank habitually and it was getting to the point where I couldn't get through a day without a drink at around 5 ish.

I stopped six and a half months ago and haven't touched a drop since.

The kids still fight and I still get tired and bored. But I do more stuff for myself now, like I exercise while they are eating their tea (before I would have drunk), and put music on and have some space for myself when they are settled (they are 6 and 11 btw.. it doesn't get any easier!!!)

PM me if you want to chat, I'm quite nice really and I did it the hard way all by myself because I didn't realise sites like this existed. Also I didn't intend to give up for this long but after a while I kind of quite liked it and now it doesn't bother me that much apart from now and again

[Road to Recovery]

Anyone else?

That's awesome Ping - and I agree - you have so much more time and energy for yourself, and I don't miss it either!

[ally67]

Anyone else?

Thanks for everyone's response. It is nice to have support and know that I'm not alone in wanting to chill out on the drinking. I'm a creature of habit with everything and have always lived by a schedule. I think for me if I can change up my schedule then giving up the wine will be easier. First step tonight. I am doing laundry all day and am not putting away immediately like I normally would. Going to save it and do that chore at the time I'd normally have my wine. I think that is a good first step. Plus, I usually to to the gym on Thursday mornings and thinking about feeling awake and refreshed pre-workout tomorrow instead of suffering a mild hangover makes workout so much better!

[zincityzen]

Anyone else?

Hi Ally,
I'm right with you about 5 pm, bored, ready for my wine! Yes, boredom is a huge trigger for me as well, and so is loneliness. I don't have kids, but I remember both my parents, in their respective homes, pouring a big one the minute they came in from work. So now I do the same. What a robot.

Welcome. This is a good place!

ZZ:welcome:

[ally67]

Anyone else?

Yes, Zincityzen! My parents too! Although for them it was a 5 pm after work cocktail and it was ONE. For me it has become 5 pm wine the size of my head then 2 hours later a couple more with my DH after work. I know my #1 trigger is boredom/habit so I think if I can recognize that then that will make it easier to give it up. It doesn't take much for me to have a hangover so that is also a big motivator. I had dinner with a friend the other night (no drinks) and came home around 9 with zero urge to have anything and I felt so great the next day!

[shueaddict]

Anyone else?

Ally hi,

I am 35, mother of a 7 year old boy and up until July I have been drinking 1 bottle ( give or take) a night for the past 3-4 years. Needless to say, it was not always that much but sadly, it has a way to creep up on you.

I can totally relate to drinking less at social occasions, to this date I can stand my ground in front of other people ... but at home, that is a different story .. I am working during the week but I also drink ( or used to drink) out of SHEER boredom at weekends ... It all started innocently enough - my 2-3 year old was trying enough on Saturday while daddy was out golfing so mommy would "award" herself a glass in the afternoon. Thomas the Tank Engine in particular used to send me straight to the bottle ... honestly ... "They're two they're four they're six they're eight" perfectly describes my progression with wine glasses ...


You are not drinking as much as other moms in here but it is a question of time, I started of at half a bottle a day then made my way up to one or more. The danger lies in drinking at home, on your own, no accountability ... If you have 1 or 5 drinks who is to know? I am a functioning alcoholic, i.e. despite not having any memory of the night before I seem to carry on freezing casserols, cleaning the kitchen, brushing my teeth and feeding the dog as if I am "normal" .

this monster called DRINK wanted more and more of my time ... I am rambling, I am sorry, the point is ... It is early days for you , you have a way out ... I mean the "easy" way ... I tried Roberta Jewels's hypno Cd's while I was not drinking quite so much and it worked ... 3 times .. to curb my consumption .. after I got passed 1 bottle .. well ... it didn't anymore.

I managaed to overcome a lot of triggers but really, being at home, alone, with no one to answer to .. is the hardest one yet ... Think, out of all evenings, how many do you spend at home, on your own, and how many do you go out? I can stay AF on the nights out, but being on my own at home ... it is so appealing to get "wasted".

It is still early days for you, do not let it get out of hand !!!!

Feel free to PM me if you want ...

[Lavande]

Anyone else?

Hi ally,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place!
AL is sneaky, comforting at first but eventually will suck the life out of you!
If you think you may have a problem now you probably do & it will get worse. I started out slowly in my early 40's having a glass or two after work but over the years it really snuck up & turned into a big problem seriously affecting my life & health. Don't let that happen to you!

A good place to start is by downloading the MWO book from the health store here. It's full of good info for you. Use the link for the Tool box & write out a plan for yourself. There are thousands of things you can do when bored that do not involve drinking

Feel free to drop in the Newbies Nest thread & see what the others are doing & get lots of support
You can do this but you have to do the work!

Wishing you the best!

Lav

[ally67]

Anyone else?

Thanks Shueaddict! You hit the nail on the head. Being home alone without being accountable to anyone is really hard. I admit there have been days when my husband is out of town that the drinking starts earlier because I think "oh he's not going to be home so he won't konw I drank this much". But, when it's early evening and my son is running around like a maniac and I'm exhausted from the day the wine never ceases to perk me up and give me temporary motivation to be pleasant rather than tired and cranky and watching the clock slowly tick by as I wait for my husband to get home. But then the one glass turns into 4 and I go to bed knowing I'll feel like crap in the morning. So I'm not getting into the wine tonight. There is about a glass and a half left in a big bottle in the fridge. I'm leaving it there. In the past when I would try and quit I would dump it out so as not to drink it but then call my husband and ask him to pick up a bottle on the way home. But if I can leave that in the fridge and occupy myself in other positive ways this evening then I will feel like I made a huge step in NOT drinking what was left in the fridge. If that makes sense. Again , thanks for the support!

[AbiCan]

Anyone else?

Hi Ally,

I absolutely relate to this. My excessive drinking begun with boredom. Opening a bottle of wine by 6pm (and sometimes at lunch time) then continuing through a second.

It quickly led to depression, shame, guilt and feelings of worthlessness. I drank more in an attempt to drown these feelings - at which point i'd entered the cycle.

This is my 2nd AF day, it's tough, i'd love a glass of wine (i've had 3 diet cokes instead!). But it's the first time in months i've actually spent some time with my husband.

The Tool Box really is full of great tips - i've been reading it all day.

Good luck

[ally67]

Anyone else?

Thanks Abi. I've been on this site for over an hour this afternoon and I honestly can't believe how many people are like me. My brother in law is a serious alcoholic....has been in and out of the hospital, alienated himself from the family, and suffers life threatening DTs. I always thought of him as the one with the drinking problem because he grew into someone unable to function without a drink. I am not to that point but have come to understand that one doesn't have to wake up to a vodka tonic to have a problem. Sober, I have come to realize that I have my wine to compensate for being bored and for feeling pretty lonely and crappy about myself. I've gained weight...like 15 pounds and I feel disgusting about that. I know it's from the wine but what do I do? I have a glass to make myself feel better. So, here's to day 1. I'm laying off. We'll see what this leads to!

[Tipplerette]

Anyone else?

Please visit the thread in General Discussion called THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE.

Ally67, my drinking pattern was exactly like yours, I drank the bigger half of a bottle every night. Hubby wasn't quite as desperate and didn't start as early so I got more. I have been on this website for a few years and have joined countless threads full of people pledging not to drink for 30 days. The most I lasted was a painful 17 day. That is... until I read Jason Vale's Book, Kick the Drink Easily. I won't go into details because it's been said over and over lately here at MWO but please consider reading this book. I don't drink alcohol and feel sorry for those that do. I am free from having to control my drinking. If I can do it 'easily' so can you.

Welcome and hope you meet all your goals.

Tips

[ATLThrash]

Anyone else?

Ally--that was 100% why I started. I had a small child, hubs was gone travelling for work and I was housebound. Became a bad habit awful quick. Good luck to you!