What do I do for fun now?

[Bournemouth guy]

I recently had a liver fuction test which showed me as way over the acceptable maximum(7 times over!) This has shocked me into trying to do something about it and I havent had a drink for 4 days now (first time ever). Even this hasnt been easy despite knowing what might await me if I go back to old habits. I have been consuming about 70 units a week for 25 years, and to be brutally honest have enjoyed doing so more often than not. I have held down a well paid job and been quite successful in life.

However I have now been brought crashing down to reality and need to address my problem immediatelty. Being honest without this news I would have happily carried on this lifestyle

I am scared to death to be frank and seem to be walking around in an out of body sort of way for 4 days ,not quite sure which way to turn. My social life has totally revolved around opprtunities to drink such as attending sports events, meals with the family, hanging out with drinking mates etc (I'm not sure I have any other kind).
What, how, when, and with who can I replace my fun time with something that doesnt involve drinking? (Rhetorical question I guess)
Thanks for listening to my ramble and huge best wishes to all of you trying to achieve your personal goals.:new:

[Supercrew]

What do I do for fun now?

Hi BG,

I found myself in a similar situation. I whole life revolved around drinking. One of the things that kept me drinking even after I knew I had a major problem was the belief that I could not enjoy life without alcohol. It was who I was, it was why I bought my home, (party house, pool room, bar), it was how I celebrated and mourned every occassion. It was all I knew and all I really loved...and I was damn good at it!

Well guess what, life goes on without alcohol. I have lived the last 9 months sober, and although I am not the first one to the tailgate party or last one to leave the open bar anymore I have found that I can have fun without drinking. In fact I will say that my life is much more rewarding sober. I remember the good times more vividly. I am able to enjoy conversing with people and not worry about slurring or saying something out of line. I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier and sober and ready to face the day feeling great.

If you can accept the fact that you can and will have fun sober, you can do it. You will also save thousands of dollars a year that you can spend on other things that will make you happy.

Now if you start out with the mindset that "I can't drink", it's going to be a tough and unenjoyable road. But if you decide that your life is important and you want to be healthy and sobriety is a new lease on life you can enjoy the journey. But you have to decide that you are going to be happy.

I still shoot pool with the guys, go to the ball games, play poker, and normally I win...because I'm sober. Don't look at it as a curse, plenty of people happily, don't drink. Also find new activities if you can where drinking isn't the main focus. Start getting into physically active groups or clubs and set goals for yourself.

As a guy who spent 27 years just like you, I will tell you it is possible, and it can be as enjoyable as you want it to be. If you tell yourself you are missing out, (which you are not), it will be hard. Embrace it and make it a reason to enjoy yourself more and to enjoy those around you more.

Good luck, you can do it!

[crimsons]

What do I do for fun now?

Hi BG, and welcome! You will find lots of inspiration and friends here without judgment, so look around the site! It sounds like you already know exactly what to do -- figure out things to do that don't involve AL. To start off, here's a list of things to do instead:
150 Things To Do Instead of Drinking

Some of them won't float your boat, but surely some will. A lot of people here have discovered the book, "Stop Drinking 4 Life Easily" by your fellow Brit Jason Vale. There's a whole thread about it under the General tab: https://www.mywayout.org/community/f9...-19-52399.html

Vale's idea is that when you really look at it, you may be having fun at the pub *in spite* of drinking, not *because* of it -- so you can still hang with your friends without a pint. A lot of people start adding new social activities and trying out new things. I don't know what's available for you and your schedule, but I added some group exercise (a running club and cycling group), free classes on cooking healthful foods at the local Whole Foods market, film screenings, group hikes I found online at meetup.com, church, etc. Maybe there's a local football game or other sport? Or if you're interested in some subject and are near the University (I'm assuming you *live* in Bournemouth, not just *from* there) there's no shortage of events and activities there.

If you like to still hang at the pub, no one can give you a hard time for not drinking -- you have doctor's orders. And honestly, I've found that hanging out with a clear mind among those who don't gives you a hankering to find something more stimulating to do too lol!

If you find you need more help, there are a wealth of groups out there. Some people like AA -- it's not for me -- but you can always lurk at a few meetings just to get off the ground. There are other groups too (some online) like SMART recovery, SOS, Rational Recovery, and Moderation Management -- which also includes discussions about abstinence. There may be some medical organizations or physicians you could try. In the US, this is usually not a good idea as it affects the individual cost of health insurance, but I don't think that's an issue in the UK. Another website with great articles is practicalrecovery.com, which is run by the president of SMART Recovery.

Good luck and let us know how you're doing!

[Unwasted]

What do I do for fun now?

BMG - welcome! You're alread gotten great advice here, so I would just like to add one thing: The thread Crimsons gave you a link to is actually about Vale's book, Kick the Drink. I think you can really relate to the author because his former social life sounds like it might have been like yours.

Crimsons - I didn't realize that you'd read a different book. I can't even find it on Amazon. Now it's got me curious as to how they're different?

Anyway, BMG - I highly recommend Kick the Drink..........give it a try...........can't hurt!

Best to you!

p.s. I did a little research, and it looks like they're the same book - I think Kick the Drink was just an updated version (copyright 2011).

[crimsons]

What do I do for fun now?

It's the same book -- it must be two different printings with different titles.

[Stompy]

What do I do for fun now?

Supercrew;1188751 wrote: Hi BG,

I found myself in a similar situation. I whole life revolved around drinking. One of the things that kept me drinking even after I knew I had a major problem was the belief that I could not enjoy life without alcohol. It was who I was, it was why I bought my home, (party house, pool room, bar), it was how I celebrated and mourned every occassion. It was all I knew and all I really loved...and I was damn good at it!

Well guess what, life goes on without alcohol. I have lived the last 9 months sober, and although I am not the first one to the tailgate party or last one to leave the open bar anymore I have found that I can have fun without drinking. In fact I will say that my life is much more rewarding sober. I remember the good times more vividly. I am able to enjoy conversing with people and not worry about slurring or saying something out of line. I go to bed earlier and wake up earlier and sober and ready to face the day feeling great.

If you can accept the fact that you can and will have fun sober, you can do it. You will also save thousands of dollars a year that you can spend on other things that will make you happy.

Now if you start out with the mindset that "I can't drink", it's going to be a tough and unenjoyable road. But if you decide that your life is important and you want to be healthy and sobriety is a new lease on life you can enjoy the journey. But you have to decide that you are going to be happy.

I still shoot pool with the guys, go to the ball games, play poker, and normally I win...because I'm sober. Don't look at it as a curse, plenty of people happily, don't drink. Also find new activities if you can where drinking isn't the main focus. Start getting into physically active groups or clubs and set goals for yourself.

As a guy who spent 27 years just like you, I will tell you it is possible, and it can be as enjoyable as you want it to be. If you tell yourself you are missing out, (which you are not), it will be hard. Embrace it and make it a reason to enjoy yourself more and to enjoy those around you more.

Good luck, you can do it!

I have read many great posts on this site. But this is the best so far. The focus on enjoying life, continuing to have craic etc is essential to me remaining booze free.
A totally uplifting and positive message.
Thanks so much.

[Unwasted]

What do I do for fun now?

Supercrew, I meant to comment on your post too. First, an amazing huge congrats on 9 months and your fantastic attitude. I found your post so inspiring. Thank you so much.

[Supercrew]

What do I do for fun now?

Thank you Stompy and UW, I really appreciate the kind words!!

[Nelz]

What do I do for fun now?

You wont think about drinking when you do this!

Attached files [img]/converted_files/1681368=6422-attachment.jpg[/img]

[tonstantweader]

What do I do for fun now?

Hi, just want to add my welcome and say that everything Supercrew put so well is what I wanted to say to you. I also recommend the Vale book just as Crimsons and Unwasted did. Stay close to this site and take it day by day. Four days is terrific!

[Nursie]

What do I do for fun now?

Hi Bourne,
Do you like hiking? I used to go all the time but drinking got in the way. Today we went with the kids and had such a great day of adventure, personal challenge, laughing, exercise and fun!!

We are also training for a warrior dash for June or September, haven't chosen a race yet. Warrior Dash | Home Fun mudrace to look forward to and train for. We clean and exercise alot. Have sex. Do artwork. Take a class. Cook something fabulous. Start doing your Christmas cards. Set up a household budget. Oh wait, you said fun hahahaha
Go bike riding. Fishing. Snowboarding, skiing. Make real Spanish paella. Get a massage. Get a couples massage.

[choice]

What do I do for fun now?

Hi BG,
I think it's fantastic that you are putting your health first. I was concerned about what to do for fun too when I stopped. It is amazing how much you will enjoy life off the stuff. It really is much more fun being free.
I think we get wake up calls for a good reason.
take care, choice

[Bournemouth guy]

What do I do for fun now?

Thanks Molly and the others that have replied to my post I really appreciate how straight you all are and not at all sanctamonious and judgemental.
The point that is well made for my predicament ,is not to think that this abstinence is for ever but more that it is the begining of a life style change. After my original post I did drink about 5 pints on both Friday and Saturday night.The next day I was furious, not just because I drank, but also because I was p****d off that each time this happens I am going to experience this guilt trip going forward, so it's a double whammy.
I actually love drinking and dont have major personality or behavioual changes when I drink and most of my "friends" (and family with the exception of my incredibly patient and supportive wife) think I am in control of my drinking. I however know that this is not the case, and my liver will certainlt testify to this. I wish I hated drinking and the effect it has on me but I dont and this makes my resolve weaker and my chances of beating this thing all the harder.I am trying to change because I have to, rather than want to, and I am not sure if this makes things easier or harder.
I will however keep coming to this site because I have heard more sense (to me anyway) than so called experts and AA meetings which I found frighteningly depressing and actually made me want to drink even more.
Again, thanks for your input and I wish each of you success in what you wish for yourselves.

[tonstantweader]

What do I do for fun now?

Bournemouth guy,
One of the keys to discovering if you have a problem is if you fear life without alcohol and if you can't imagine life without drinking. If you do have this fear, alcohol is controlling you, as you well know already. Let me ask you, in all seriousness, what benefits do you believe you get from drinking? IN other words, what does drinking do for you that not-drinking doesn't do?

I liked drinking too, and every now and then I miss it, but then I remember the bad sleep, the chronic fatigue, the memory lapses, the small sores on my legs that wouldn't heal, the weight gain, the sometimes embarrassing moments after drinking too much, and the money wasted. Then I don't miss it anymore.