Lost my way...

[mauritiusdodo]

Let me start by saying I haven't had a drink today and not going to. I feel so scared, worried, apprehensive and uncertain about the future, I think this is contributing to my failure to quit drinking, my situation is this:

My husband works for his father in the family business and I stay at home taking care of our son, the family business is up for sale (his dad wants to retire) and neither me nor my husband know what we are going to do for work afterwards, we will get a lump sum from the business so won't be destitute but we will have to work in some way, I haven't any major qualifications just office based stuff - I worked as a PA in the textile industry and I really don''t want to go back to that, my hubby was a medic in the army and then worked in hospital theatres as an operating dept practitioner after that but he doesn't want to go back to either profession, we both have desires to be artists - me henna, him airbrush but really don't think we can make a living that way...

I don't know what to do anymore, I am so confused, I have been flitting from one craft hobby to the next, selling a couple of bits and peices to friends and family and at a couple of craft events and trying to make some money but recently I have lost my way altogether with it all and my creative self seems to have disappeared

Sorry for the long waffle, I just needed to get that off my chest, it isn't an excuse for my drinking but it is a contributory factor, I really need to sort out my life...

[Doggygirl]

Lost my way...

Hi mauri. I'm sorry to read that you and your husband are going through a stressful and unsettling time. Of course you already know that alcohol is not helping you figure anything out - it's just wasting your time.

There was a time early on in my drinking, where life situations DID prompt me to drink. But somewhere along the way, I crossed the invisible line. After that, I REALLY drank because I'm addicted to alcohol, period. I just used my life circumstances as an excuse, to fool myself. Is it possible you are in this situation too?

I hope you can set the AL aside and along with your husband, reinvent yourselves. I hope your cushion from the sale of your business is enough to allow you to really find avenues you will love. :l AL will just get in the way of that possibility.

DG

[Unwasted]

Lost my way...

Mauri, my husband and I are also at a crossroads - not exactly like yours but feeling restless and like we need something different in our lives. We think about moving to a different part of the country just for a change, but it would be a huge upheaval to sell our property, move our animals, etc. Makes me tired just thinking about it. Anyway, I totally get how certain situations make you think you want to drink. For me, the hangovers (always seem to end up with one even if I don't drink a lot) are the problem. I know you had a really bad episode at your sister's (think it was) which is what prompted you to want to stop. I'm assuming when you try to control it, that you get back up to a bad level with blackouts, etc?

[Struggles 106]

Lost my way...

Hey Mauri

Sorry to hear about that situation. I do some things also that I wish I could make a living doing (music, art, jewelry etc). But I do love my day job so it's not bad. I try to stress to my daughter to figure out what she really loves do every day is not drudgery.
I agree with everyone else that alcohol will certainly not help. I'm only at 11 days but I'm finally getting it.
I'm glad you have that $$$$ to take some time to decide, but I guess it goes quickly so I'm sure you're feeling pressured.
Take good care of yourself and know that you are unique and great!

[mauritiusdodo]

Lost my way...

Thanks everyone, the business is not yet sold and not sure when it will do so atm we still have income but we are just stressing that the money won't last forever and we need to come to some decisions before then! I hated my job and was happy to quit and be a stay at home mum when I had my son (he is now 2) but I am not finding it increasingly difficult as he is a very demanding toddler and I feel I can't relax at home anymore - he is on the go from around 5 am every day until 7-7.30 and it is hard work, I can't really get to do anything myself (other than keeping up with house chores) whilst he is at home, he has just started playgroup two sessions a week and he goes to his grandparents one morning however so I am getting a little time now - just need to figure out how best to use it!

I know that if I can quit drinking my head will be clearer and I will be able to prioritise and decide what I need to do, I feel better already today with one AF day under my belt. Today I am planning to go and buy cake making supplies, it's my dd's 18th birthday a week on Friday (I know BIG age gap!) and I am making a theatre themed cake for her, my DS is full of cold and has a cough so playgroup is out of the equation today

Sorry for the long waffle again :blush: I don't really have a close friend I can open up to about all this so thank you all for listening!

[patrice]

Lost my way...

Hi Mauri,

I'm glad you are back. I do think that when things are on the change, it is easy to drink to numb it out somehow ( although as we all know, it doesn't help a situation in any way).

I totally understand how demanding a 2 year old is.. its full on totally.
But it easier without a hangover!!!
I'm still struggling too, but I feel sure I will get there before its too late

Take Care
Patrice

[mauritiusdodo]

Lost my way...

Thats exactly it, I have been drinking increasingly more just to block out all my thoughts and worries! Deffo easier without a hangover I feel so much more capable of coping today without any al in my system!

patrice;1194761 wrote: Hi Mauri,

I'm glad you are back. I do think that when things are on the change, it is easy to drink to numb it out somehow ( although as we all know, it doesn't help a situation in any way).

I totally understand how demanding a 2 year old is.. its full on totally.
But it easier without a hangover!!!
I'm still struggling too, but I feel sure I will get there before its too late

Take Care
Patrice

[Doggygirl]

Lost my way...

I too spent countless days/weeks/months/years trying to use drinking as a solution to my problems and it didn't work any better for me than it has for you or anyone else here! Good for you recognizing that things really do go better with a clear head. I hope you have a good day. I hope you will share pictures of the cake you are making! It sounds awesome.

DG

[missyabby1]

Lost my way...

Hey Mauri, just want to say it is good to still see you here. DG, I honestly have a few doubts about your posts. Just telling you how it is for me OK, no antagonism. I have been increasingly upping my alcohol intake over many years. Didn't have a prob for 40yrs. Then fell in with the "wrong crowd" ie a sociopathic narcissist who has basically wrecked my life. Took away my family, my money and my self respect. Believe me, there are these people out there, and the only way I dealt with it was not dealing with it but falling into his alcoholic life.... (not uncommon according to studies).

In between all these years I was lucky enough (or determind enough) to spend time away from this person.....the last time being very recently spending time with my grandchildren. Guess what? Alcohol was just not a factor in my life when I was away from his influence. It was like something was just turned off. I am not telling an untruth at all. Alcohol was not an issue when I had something more meaningful in my life. Mauri, what is meaningful for you? My story about the bad guy is not yours, but there is something that can take you to a better place for you. I do believe that al can just become a way of life, and what a shit that is, but I also believe, from my experience, that finding a way where it becomes a nothing also exists. Fare well my friend....go back to a time when this demon did not rule your life and find the thing that matters more. You can do it....follow it and live it.

Love Missy xx