Hello. I have so much to say but I will try to be brief. I read a handful of posts and can relate to all of them. It is TIME to stop. It has been a long life of drinking. Luckily, I have not hurt anyone else or blacked out and done stupid things--until the last 3 months--I blacked out for the first time--luckily at home. I swore I would Never drink again if I blacked out. But, guess what? Well, you all know the answer.
It has been a long time that I have been drinking. Just saying the amount of years is shocking and apalling to me. And if I add up the amount of money I have spent over the years, well was the "fun" worth it? Maybe I could own my own home now or not be living close to poverty if I had that money...
I am going to be 56 this coming year. I started drinking socially around 18 and continued --off and on--until now when it is mostly on. I have never been a fall down drunk or obnoxious to anyone else--as-a-matter-of-fact, some long time friends never even knew I was drinking. Anyway, enough details--it is Time to stop. It is Not healthy. And my hangovers are probably what are saving me. They are horrendous--physically and psychologically!!! I basically turn into a vegetable the day after (sometimes for 2 days). I stay in bed, don't want to talk to anyone and I'm lucky if I can watch TV. I force myself to eat because I know I need the nourishment--maybe the only reason I am not diseased or dead today.
I want to quit entirely. After all these years, I would like to go for a long time without a hangover. But obviously, I have developed an addiction--what was mostly psychological before is now very physical. How could it Not be???!!! In the morning, I don't have it, but around 4 in the afternoon, I start getting that "party" or "happy hour" feeling and for the last year it is very hard to control. For the last year, I actually Think about drinking every day. Before this, it was Not such a big part of my life! But now, I actually Plan it.
I also do not want to do the AA thing--I know it works for many, but I prefer to be private and I don't like falling apart in front of a room full of strangers--And, the religious thing turns me off too. So when I read about MWO, I became very interested. But I am still skeptical and moving cautiously.
I like the multi-level approach--the herbs, the exercise and the Hypnosis. Hypnosis works! When I was in my 20s, I smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day. I grew up in a cigarette smoking house so I was probably addicted to nicotine before I even started smoking. So I did not think I would ever stop. But one day, an acquiantance who was studying to become a psychologist was practicing his hypnosis techniques and I became his "guinea pig" by having him hynotize me to stop smoking. (This is a similar story to the MWO founder's!) I remember thinking that he was not doing very well because I did not "go under" when he hypnotized me--I was relaxed, but I could hear and remember what he was saying during the entire session. I went home scoffing. Yet, guess what?! Cigarettes and even second-hand smoke started making me sick to my stomach (one of his hypnotic suggestions). I actually quit, cold turkey. No I tried to smoke a few more times, but butted them out in disqust. That was in 1975 and I never smoked again. It sounds unbelievable, but now that I heard the same story--God--I wonder...
Exercise has always worked for me--I was a marathon runner and even did some running and biking last week when I was trying to quit drinking--again--did well for a week but, of course I said you can't actually Quit on Christmas Eve. That was one of my excuses. And I have Many. Christmas too--I just had to drink on Christmas! Time to Celebrate! Time to Vent! Time to commiserate! Drink 'cause I'm happy. Drink 'cause I'm sad. Drink 'cause I'm lonely, Drink 'cause I'm mad. (hey, that rhymes). I drink to start something, end something, continue with something. And now I have New Years Eve coming. And I think, yeah! Rah Rah--fun, fun, fun drinking. But now I think of the horrible pain the day after. Will I or won't I? What will I Do if I Don't??!! Even if I Do drink on New Years, I will definitely NOT in 2007! See, this is how it goes. Proclamations and then disappointments. I am glad I only have myself to disappoint, if I had children I don't know how bad the self-loathing would be.
Anyway, I will stop babbling on for now. I do have one important Question, though: the Kudzu is supposed to have the side effect of lowering blood sugar levels. I have hypoglycemia and I cannot afford for this to happen. Any comments? I also take Paxil--any problems with that? I will not take any of the drugs recommended for the cravings (at least not yet)--I want to only try the herbs, the exercise and the CDs.
Thanks for letting me talk.
And Best wishes to all...
It has been a long time that I have been drinking. Just saying the amount of years is shocking and apalling to me. And if I add up the amount of money I have spent over the years, well was the "fun" worth it? Maybe I could own my own home now or not be living close to poverty if I had that money...
I am going to be 56 this coming year. I started drinking socially around 18 and continued --off and on--until now when it is mostly on. I have never been a fall down drunk or obnoxious to anyone else--as-a-matter-of-fact, some long time friends never even knew I was drinking. Anyway, enough details--it is Time to stop. It is Not healthy. And my hangovers are probably what are saving me. They are horrendous--physically and psychologically!!! I basically turn into a vegetable the day after (sometimes for 2 days). I stay in bed, don't want to talk to anyone and I'm lucky if I can watch TV. I force myself to eat because I know I need the nourishment--maybe the only reason I am not diseased or dead today.
I want to quit entirely. After all these years, I would like to go for a long time without a hangover. But obviously, I have developed an addiction--what was mostly psychological before is now very physical. How could it Not be???!!! In the morning, I don't have it, but around 4 in the afternoon, I start getting that "party" or "happy hour" feeling and for the last year it is very hard to control. For the last year, I actually Think about drinking every day. Before this, it was Not such a big part of my life! But now, I actually Plan it.
I also do not want to do the AA thing--I know it works for many, but I prefer to be private and I don't like falling apart in front of a room full of strangers--And, the religious thing turns me off too. So when I read about MWO, I became very interested. But I am still skeptical and moving cautiously.
I like the multi-level approach--the herbs, the exercise and the Hypnosis. Hypnosis works! When I was in my 20s, I smoked 3 packs of cigarettes a day. I grew up in a cigarette smoking house so I was probably addicted to nicotine before I even started smoking. So I did not think I would ever stop. But one day, an acquiantance who was studying to become a psychologist was practicing his hypnosis techniques and I became his "guinea pig" by having him hynotize me to stop smoking. (This is a similar story to the MWO founder's!) I remember thinking that he was not doing very well because I did not "go under" when he hypnotized me--I was relaxed, but I could hear and remember what he was saying during the entire session. I went home scoffing. Yet, guess what?! Cigarettes and even second-hand smoke started making me sick to my stomach (one of his hypnotic suggestions). I actually quit, cold turkey. No I tried to smoke a few more times, but butted them out in disqust. That was in 1975 and I never smoked again. It sounds unbelievable, but now that I heard the same story--God--I wonder...
Exercise has always worked for me--I was a marathon runner and even did some running and biking last week when I was trying to quit drinking--again--did well for a week but, of course I said you can't actually Quit on Christmas Eve. That was one of my excuses. And I have Many. Christmas too--I just had to drink on Christmas! Time to Celebrate! Time to Vent! Time to commiserate! Drink 'cause I'm happy. Drink 'cause I'm sad. Drink 'cause I'm lonely, Drink 'cause I'm mad. (hey, that rhymes). I drink to start something, end something, continue with something. And now I have New Years Eve coming. And I think, yeah! Rah Rah--fun, fun, fun drinking. But now I think of the horrible pain the day after. Will I or won't I? What will I Do if I Don't??!! Even if I Do drink on New Years, I will definitely NOT in 2007! See, this is how it goes. Proclamations and then disappointments. I am glad I only have myself to disappoint, if I had children I don't know how bad the self-loathing would be.
Anyway, I will stop babbling on for now. I do have one important Question, though: the Kudzu is supposed to have the side effect of lowering blood sugar levels. I have hypoglycemia and I cannot afford for this to happen. Any comments? I also take Paxil--any problems with that? I will not take any of the drugs recommended for the cravings (at least not yet)--I want to only try the herbs, the exercise and the CDs.
Thanks for letting me talk.
And Best wishes to all...
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