Welcome punter!

[patrice]

Welcome punter!

Hiya G and all here

I have been reading this thread avidly ... but reading isn't enough is it. As mentioned by you, action must be taken. I am on the day 3 of my latest effort ( as you can see I joined a while ago with initial success then abysmail failure).

But G, I was driving around today - one of the few times I have actually driven here in Asia cos 1. Its pretty scary, no road rules and 2. I have always either had a hangover, or would prefer to be in the apartment drinking.

Its Friday, day off, hot as usual and I thought and I was driving.. well my son has had lots to eat, I've been 'good' all day... why not stop off and get a cold Chardonnay or a few tigers.. This thought gripped me for 5 or so minutes and then I thought, NOW, I CAN CHOOSE YES OR NO... I thought about some of these things I've been reading and my brain Chose NO...

Think I'm finally learning
Thanks everyone
Take Care
Patrice

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

patrice;1199292 wrote: Hiya G and all here

I have been reading this thread avidly ... but reading isn't enough is it. As mentioned by you, action must be taken. I am on the day 3 of my latest effort ( as you can see I joined a while ago with initial success then abysmail failure).

But G, I was driving around today - one of the few times I have actually driven here in Asia cos 1. Its pretty scary, no road rules and 2. I have always either had a hangover, or would prefer to be in the apartment drinking.

Its Friday, day off, hot as usual and I thought and I was driving.. well my son has had lots to eat, I've been 'good' all day... why not stop off and get a cold Chardonnay or a few tigers.. This thought gripped me for 5 or so minutes and then I thought, NOW, I CAN CHOOSE YES OR NO... I thought about some of these things I've been reading and my brain Chose NO...

Think I'm finally learning
Thanks everyone
Take Care
Patrice

Nice one Patrice. Is Asia worse than Belgium for road mayhem? :H

It takes a bit of consistent abstinence in my experience before the obsession begins to fall away, and it does. Have a great weekend!

P.S. Great stuff on day 3. Keep it going!

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

Now folk's. Do as i say, not as i do. :H Just joking. But seriously, this article is longish, but i thought it valuable.

The Nature of Reality

ShareA Rude Awakening

It’s the middle of the night and something has woken you out of a deep slumber. A noise of some kind. You’re a heavy sleeper, so it’s something of a surprise to find yourself wide awake at such an hour. For a moment, you lie motionless; your senses are in hyperdrive.

Bang!

There it is again. The noise. For a moment, you stop breathing and stay perfectly still. It’s seems like the right thing to do. You become aware of your heart. You can feel it moving in your chest. It’s pounding like a tribal drum. Hard. And often. Too often. Another thing to worry about. You feel your anxiety level rise as the banging noise from outside is joined by some kind of metallic scraping sound. A crazy as it seems, it sounds like someone is building or moving something in your yard. But what?

Like some kind of silent urban ninja, you slide your feet over the side of the bed and sit bolt upright. You still yourself and listen intently. This time you hear voices. Voices in your yard! You pray. An interesting tactic for someone who’s religiously indifferent. In that moment, you figure it can’t hurt.

Stupidly or bravely (you’re not sure), you move to the window and open the curtain a little. Just a tiny bit. You peek through the dark haze and to your absolute horror you see two silhouettes moving on your lawn. Large silhouettes. Now you feel physically ill. Like you could vomit at any moment. ‘What if they come into my house?’ you ask yourself.

You have never felt such panic. A fresh wave of nausea rolls over you.

Your heart rate hits a new high, your blood pressure is through the roof, your muscles are like coiled springs and your very clever endocrine system is now producing adrenalin by the gallon. At least your hormones are ready for action. Like your heart, your mind is racing too. You try to think clearly and calmly but understandably, panic and strategic thinking don’t really go hand in hand. Standing by the window, you can now feel yourself perspiring like an endurance athlete. On a very hot day. You can feel the sweat on your skin. Your favourite bed shirt is now sticking to your clammy body.

For some strange reason, you decide to arm yourself with a weapon. The fact that you have absolutely no clue how to use any kind of weapon against any kind of intruder doesn’t seem to matter. Interestingly, your weapon of choice is a frying pan. Of course it is. Perfect. If there’s one thing large nocturnal intruders are scared of; it’s a kitchen utensil in the hands of someone like you.

Good grief. Clearly, you’re new at this.

Armed with your new weapon, you make your way back to the window. Without any real plan, you quietly peel back the curtain and there, with his face pressed against the glass, is the face of evil. The bad guy. Well, one of them. Your knees buckle, you drop your weapon like a hot potato and squeal like a teenybopper at a Justin Bieber concert.

Screaming wasn’t your plan but, in that moment, it seems the only appropriate response. If you scream loud enough for long enough maybe they’ll run away, you figure. So scream you do. You’re just about to hit a new octave and decibel when you feel a hand slide over your mouth. Oh God. You’re going to die. You knew it. They’re in the house. They’re behind you. Beside you.

They’re, they’re…. married to you.

They’re what?

That’s right, you open your eyes, and there right beside you in your bed (that’s right – in your bed!) is your long-suffering spouse trying to save you from the bad guys. The ones in your dream.

Yes, your dream.

It can’t have been a dream, you tell yourself. You remember being woken by the banging noise and getting out of bed. Throwing your legs over the side. You remember the panic, the sweat, the pounding heart, the silhouettes and the frying pan. The metallic scraping noises and the face against the glass. It was all real. Wasn’t it? You look at your shirt. It’s soaked. Your hands are clammy and sweat is now dropping from your forehead. Not imagined sweat, real sweat. Your partner looks confused. Maybe a little scared.

You can still feel your heart. It’s pounding. For real. You check your pulse; it’s well over a hundred. You sit up. And it’s not a dream this time. You poke your leg. Yep, awake. You try to take a deep breath but you can’t. The anxiety and the nausea still have a hold of you. A few minutes later you accept that your experience was, in fact, a dream.

And while you intellectually understand what has transpired (a dream), your body and your emotions don’t seem to understand the difference. You feel exhausted and stressed. Nearly an hour later, you still feel mildly anxious and somewhat nauseous. Clearly, physical you and emotional you are somewhat disconnected from cerebral you.

Q. So, was the dreamer’s experience real or not?

Reality

Today’s story can be a metaphor for our day-to-day lives. On some level, we are all dreamers. Creators of our own experiences. In some ways, what happens to us or around us doesn’t really matter. Sometimes, all that matters in the moment is what we believe is happening. If I genuinely believe that getting sacked from my job is an opportunity rather than a catastrophe, then when I get the news, my reaction, my response and my literal experience will be a positive one – unlike my colleague who receives the same news but has a different belief.

If I mistakenly believe that someone is about to attack me in a dark alley then my respiratory, muscular, cardiovascular and endocrine systems will all respond as though the threat (the imminent attack) is totally real. My body doesn’t know the difference between perceived reality (my imagination) and the ‘real’ world (if there is such a thing?). So too, in the above story, the dreamer’s responses (physical, emotional and psychological) to an imaginary foe were totally real.

You’ve experienced similar right?

In many instances, happiness or sadness, stress or calm, success or failure is not about the situation but rather, our interpretation of (and belief about) the situation. As we negotiate the events of our physical world, we are constantly processing information, giving things labels and meaning and then (consciously or not) creating our own experiences. That is, our own unique version of reality.

Every day, you and I see different people in identical situations having totally different experiences. Why? Because the situation, event or circumstance doesn’t determine the experience, the person in the middle of it does.

The pertinent question today is:

“What kind of reality are you creating?”

(By C. Harper.)

[startingover]

Welcome punter!

Fantastic article Mr G.
I am learning that with NLP too. Our reality is our own creation and our thoughts and mind govern that.

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

There are many roads to take, and many different 'My way out's' for us all. We are all different people, with different experiences, but of course we also have a lot in common. Don't be afraid to ever think outside the square for a solution, or a better way of life for yourself.

Conventional Us

'Conventional wisdom indicates that I?m not very wise. Conventional thinking suggests that my thinking is unconventional. Conventional education would be great if all kids thought the same, learned the same and were the same. Conventional relationships would be really successful if only they didn?t fail so often. Conventional religions teach love and tolerance while (often) demonstrating hatred and intolerance. Sometimes, the conventional approach is the least effective approach.

And sometimes, convention is only convention because nobody dares to do different. '

(C. Harper)

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

What is success to you? 1 hour alcohol free, 1 day, i week, 1 year?

'Like most things, success is personal. It means different things to different people. My major achievement (running five miles, perhaps) might be a barely-noticeable part of your daily routine. For some people, a new job that provides them with a hundred thousand dollars each year would be financial nirvana. For somebody else, that same job could be a massive drop in salary and therefore, the opposite of success. For the guy recovering from a car accident, walking ten feet might be the biggest achievement of his year. For you, it?s what happens on the way to the fridge.

In your world and mine, things only have the meaning we give them. Success is no different.

A Few Success Facts:

1. Being ?successful? doesn?t always equate to being happy.
2. Success doesn?t happen, we create it.
3. Your definition of success will evolve as you do.
4. Looking successful and being successful don?t always go hand in hand.
5. Sometimes, success lives where we least expect it.

A Few Success Suggestions:

1. Consider the goals behind your goals. What?s your motivation for achieving those goals? How do you think it will change your life?
2. Leave your ego out of the goal-setting (success-creating) process.
3. Make time to get clear about your core values and goals. If you can?t define it (success), you probably won?t create it.
4. Pay attention to what your inner wisdom is saying (it knows stuff). Not to be confused with the inner attention-seeking fourteen year-old.
5. The enormity of conformity is ever-present. Don?t waste years trying to achieve someone else?s goals. Think, choose and act for yourself.'

(C. Harper)

[FreeFly]

Welcome punter!

Without the discomfort we wouldn't have contrast. Without contrast we wouldn't have the desire to choose differently. Discomfort is our friend. Just saying...

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

CantBelieveI'mStillAtIt;1205461 wrote: Without the discomfort we wouldn't have contrast. Without contrast we wouldn't have the desire to choose differently. Discomfort is our friend. Just saying...

Yep, and often we need to get uncomfortable to change what we need to, and to be able to move forward.

[FreeFly]

Welcome punter!

Exactement!

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

Meditation is becoming an important, and interesting part of my daily recovery.

Folk may find this useful.

Frequently Asked Questions - Shambhala

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

I am a runner. For me, it is an essential part of my recovery. It is freedom.

Now, get up off the couch, and shake that ass!


“We drink, smoke, and eat too much because it’s easier than disciplining ourselves to say no.” William Glasser

'I’ve had a love affair with running for most of my adult life. Once I started, the flow and good feelings kept me coming back.

I first started running in my 20’s when I was working for Levi Strauss, (remember 501’s), and we would run down the Embarcadero during our lunch hour. What I loved about running, was the simplicity. Grab some workout clothes, a good pair of running shoes and you are off. For me, music helps me run a few more steps, so I bring my iPod shuffle

I haven’t run in that many races throughout the years, usually running has been a way to exercise and stay fit. It does makes you feel like you’ve really done something.

I have run the Bay to Breakers several times, the Wharf to Wharf in Santa Cruz, which is a fun race. Several days after my dad died, I ran in a race through Newport Beach in his honor. I’ve done the Primo’s Run for Education in Danville. Last May I ran the Orange County Half Marathon. Running by the water in Newport Beach and ending up in Costa Mesa, was an absolutely beautiful run.

I have enjoyed the few races that I participated in, but for me running is so much more than that. It’s a way to keep my mind and body strong. It makes me feel calm and relaxed. For several hours after running I can still feel the energy from the endorphins, or as they say, the runner’s high. My heart is pumping and my blood is flowing. It’s a healthy feeling. I’ve taken some time off running recently, and I miss it.

For those of us in recovery, whether it be drugs, alcohol or being addicted to the addict, a replacement for the addiction is needed. So much time and energy has been put into the addiction, that it is essential that the void be filled. Former addicts often mention that they are now runners, and it has helped change their life.

I recently read “Positive Addiction,” by William Glasser, This is not a new book. It was written in 1976. Although some of the ideas about addiction have changed, the essential idea from this book, that a negative addiction needs to be replace by a positive addiction for long term recovery is an idea that is still very relevant.

A positive addiction can be anything according to Dr. Glasser, as long as it fills the following six criteria:

1.It is something noncompetitive that you choose to do and you can devote an hour a day to.
2.It is possible for you to do it easily and it doesn’t take a great deal of mental effort to do it well.
3.You can do it alone or rarely with others, but it does not depend upon others to do it.
4.You believe that it has some value (physical, mental or spiritual) for you.
5.You believe that if you persist at it you will improve.
6.You can do it without criticizing yourself.
Dr. Glasser goes on to describe the difference between a positive addiction and a negative addiction. A positive addiction increases mental strength, a negative addiction saps strength from every part of your life. Negative addiction feels good but does harm, positive addiction can feel bad but does good. He says the reason negative addiction is so powerful and difficult to break is that it relieves the pain of our failure to obtain love and worth, in addition to providing an intensely pleasurable experience.

Running, he says is the hardest, but surest way to positive addiction. It is our most ancient and still most effective survival method.

Watch a child, and notice that they seem to have to learn to walk, but not to run. How many times, do we tell our kids to stop running.

“Running, perhaps because it is our most basic solitary survival activity, produces the non-self–critical state more effectively that any other practice.” – William Glasser

From “Positive Addiction” runners share their feelings about this amazing sport.

•You become running itself.
•When I am running well, I am happy.
•Running is getting to know yourself in the extreme degree.
•There is nothing like the feel of your feet against the road, the pleasure of motion produced by your own body.
•Something takes over, not just you, but a sensation of movement.
•Worrying and running are impossible to do at the same time.
•A self-centered state develops in which you feel yourself as a natural organism working very hard.
•Everything is floating around in your mind while running, including your problems, and at times a solution pops into your mind without effort.
•When I miss my workouts, I feel as though I have let myself down.
•I don’t have to worry about eating too much.
•Lowered pulse rate and blood pressure.
•After the first mile, my subconscious takes over and my body functions automatically.
•There is something about most runners that makes them feel a little better than other people.
•The only things I don’t do more of now are watch TV, drink and waste time in general.
•Runners think they have a better life because they run.
•Running gives me all the self-confidence I will ever need.
•It all seems so right with eternity, personally and collectively.
•Competition is the spice, running the main course.
•Thoughts become long, slow motion, drawn out.
•I feel a fat, lazy, generally slothful, and grouchy feeling when I don’t run.
•For awhile the world completely stops while I am engaging with my run.
•I am frustrated, aggravated, hostile, irritable, and generally unpleasant when I miss a day’s run.
•Heightened awareness of light, temperature, odors, sometimes an inexpressible joy.
•I don’t need as much sleep.
•I feel the so called happy, warm feeling or glow.
•It is as if my mind is floating along beside my body looking at it in a kind of humorous way, watching it struggle to run while it (the mind) is free-floating along, ahead of it, behind it, below it, above it.
•It is best to run in a peaceful natural place.
•I float. I run like a deer. I feel good. I feel high. I don’t think at all.
•Brain chatter is gone.
•I am more open with people and my interpersonal habits or skills have improved.
•I am much less serious, far more easy going, less committed to abolishing all the evils overnight and easier to live with.
•Everyone should run. It would drown hate, aggression, make people happier, and create a greater sense of self-worth.
We were not born to sit around, we were born to be active. If you are positively addicted to what you do, then you will live a long life and enjoy every moment.

So I’m back now, running that is. I ran 4 miles this week. Just a start, but I was amazed that after not running for a number of months, I went out and ran 2 miles fairly easily. I guess, once a runner, always a runner.'

Think about running.



(By Cathy Taughinbaugh who runs a support site for family/friends of addicts called 'Treatment talk'.)

[BelleGirl]

Welcome punter!

Hey G,
Great post. I am a runner, and have been for 25+ years. However, this past year has not been the best, and the increase in AL did not help. I always found that a good run could kick a hangover, and I was finding that most of my running was starting to be for that very reason. Then in the past 2 months I have become lazy...don't want to do that. In the past, I found that I will run in all seasons...they all have their good points. In my early days I became obsessed and wouldn't feel right unless I ran 7 days/week. Sort of glad I got over that because now with kids and other responsibilities that was too much pressure.

So, thank you for reminding me of why I should really get back into running. 4 days a week is what I strive for now. I did run a couple of miles last Sunday, but came home, did some stretches and messed up a shoulder. Lower back ain't great either. Have a chiropractic appt. on Monday and hope she sets me straight so I can get back out there. Running without a hangover may be even better than ever!!

:thanks:

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

Good to hear Belle.

Running without a hangover is wild. It's like meditation to me. I love to get in the 'zone' when you're in the groove, and i feel like i can run forever. By the way, there's a running thread on the site somewhere.

Best wishes, G.

[BelleGirl]

Welcome punter!

Yeah, I do remember "the zone". The kind of run where I could barely remember the route I had taken. My mind was totally free to go wherever it wanted to. I used to run on my lunch hour and was so much more productive after it. I used to tell my colleagues that I had to go out and "get some air into my head". Ahhhhh you are so making me remember all the great parts of running. Not as young as I once was, but know that I can still easily go 3 miles. I always said "I run for my mind...not my body". (But the body stuff is a great bonus!!)

[Guitarista]

Welcome punter!

BelleGirl;1206600 wrote: Yeah, I do remember "the zone". The kind of run where I could barely remember the route I had taken. My mind was totally free to go wherever it wanted to. I used to run on my lunch hour and was so much more productive after it. I used to tell my colleagues that I had to go out and "get some air into my head". Ahhhhh you are so making me remember all the great parts of running. Not as young as I once was, but know that I can still easily go 3 miles. I always said "I run for my mind...not my body". (But the body stuff is a great bonus!!)

Well, why not get out today, or tomorrow. Put your shoes on, and gently go for a walk/run....walk/run for a short distance? (presuming your fitness level has decreased a bit)

Even a brisk walk, followed by spurts of gentle shuffling. You know what i mean.....

Maybe you're doing this already.