Binge Drinker Getting Worse

[Sunbeam]

Binge Drinker Getting Worse

Hey DG!
Yes, I forgot to mention that my husband didn't initially understand my difference in controlling alcohol. I believe he does now. He has his one mug of wine each evening, as he eats his own dinner in front of his TV. Over the years, we often haven't eaten together. When we eat together, he puts wine in his mug in the basement, then brings it up. He never offers me any. It would be easier for me if he gave up wine, but he doesn't want to and really shouldn't have to. So this is my new life, and it is way better than the old one.

You are right to not count those AF days, because they offer a binge drinker false confidence. You need to find some other way to achieve that "letting go" time you need. I read way more than I used to, often engaging murder mysteries. I am currently finishing the Scarpetta series by Patricia Cornwell. There are plenty ideas for this in the Tool Box others have mentioned: exercise, meditation, relaxation strategies of all kinds.

[K9Lover]

Binge Drinker Getting Worse

Hi Ellaq,
I, like you, always drank to get drunk. Because I always drank at home alone, I wasn?t drinking for fun, because how much fun is that? I don?t have a spouse or significant other trying to convince me to moderate, so I can?t personally relate to that. But what hit home for me was something I read in the book I just finished by Jason Vale. He says over and over that alcohol is the only drug in the world that we have to justify NOT using. If people were honest and accepted the fact that alcohol IS a drug, they sure wouldn?t give us those ?looks? when we say we don?t use it. Drinking alcohol is not natural, as is obvious every time we have too much and our bodies have to choose between keeping us awake or keeping us alive, so we pass out so that our body can get rid of the poison we forced on it. I truly believe that there is no reason to drink anymore. Alcohol never solved anything for me, in fact all it did was create more problems that I then had to face with a hangover. I?m wishing you strength and success on your journey, keep us posted and let us know how it?s going.
K9

[ImHereNow]

Binge Drinker Getting Worse

NO today, Here tomorrow!

Saying NO is easier than "MAYBE". Saw this in an article today . . . so true.:new:

[Ellaq]

Binge Drinker Getting Worse

Thank you to everyone for their replies. Going AF is my goal. I have been working so hard to rid my body of caffeine that continuing to drink would be counterproductive.

I had a phone conversation with my husband last night and I told him my plans. He was a little shocked at first but agrees that it is a good idea. I think he is still afraid of me becoming a nagging teetotaller. He wants to be AF with me on his next break to support me....I am not really sure how I feel about this. I want him to be able to drink and I believe I can be strong enough to be around him when he is drinking.........he likes cider, I don't.

I am feeling strong right now.

[Doggygirl]

Binge Drinker Getting Worse

Ellaq;1199843 wrote: I had a phone conversation with my husband last night and I told him my plans. He was a little shocked at first but agrees that it is a good idea. I think he is still afraid of me becoming a nagging teetotaller. He wants to be AF with me on his next break to support me....I am not really sure how I feel about this. I want him to be able to drink and I believe I can be strong enough to be around him when he is drinking.........he likes cider, I don't.

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Congrats Ellaq on your decision! If I could make a suggestion. Not drinking for me was very hard at first, but has gotten substantially easier with AF time. If your husband is willing to support you - especially early on - by not drinking when he is with you, then I suggest accepting his support. It doesn't have to stay that way forever. For me anyway, I have no desire to drink any more. So it doesn't bother me one way or the other what he chooses to do.

A mistake we sometimes make is assuming the alcohol is as important to everyone else as it is to us. That is just not the case. For the 10% of us who have dependence or abuse issues with AL, yes. AL seems very important. But to people who are truly NOT dependent, it's more a take it or leave it thing. My husband "leaving it" initially was no skin off his nose, that helped me a lot, and now he has his wife back. A win win all the way around.

Good luck to you! Lean on us for support as you need it!

DG

[Lost Soul]

Binge Drinker Getting Worse

Hi Ellaq - Have read through your post, how are you doing?

I am also a mum so I know the feeling of never being 'off duty' always being responsible for your kids, and guilt that comes with being a mum of not being perfect (which no one can be!).
You are doing everything you can to be the best mum you can be by trying to get AF, most parents will never understand how hard coping with an addiction is.
Y
our husbands job seems to make your role so much harder as you have no support for the time he is away. This will undoubtably increase the pressure on you and make binge drinking your pattern - you should be proud you can do the time he is away AF don't forget that is an achievement. It is great that he wants to support you, but as doggy said it's hard for non addicted people to get us, they just don't understand the maddness of it all that goes on in our heads!
You sound to have a good idea of your limitations when it comes to AL, and what you want, do not be afraid to tell your husband exactly what you need him to do to get through this. If he asked the same of you I'm sure you would do whatever it takes, and no doubt he will feel the same.
I wish you luck with atttempting to go AF - to get to that decision is not easy and is another step toward being a happier person.