probably about 60+ days and not countin'

[winegirl]

This, i think is my first post. i found this site some time last summer and never kept up with it. I quit drinking altogether near the end of summer and while it was a struggle, im doing okay. I was a drinker for a long long time but felt myself really get out of control about a year ago. once i 'detoxed', the psychological and emotional battles were all ive had to face and i felt that with the physical literal dependence and addiction licked it was merely a matter of willpower.
I attend group therapy about 4 times a week which has been a God send and gave AA a shot but will only drop in to one of those meetings occasionally. I enjoy and look forward to Group and dread and feel sickened when i go to an AA meeting. I also let myself feel guilty if i'm not behaving or experiencing my recovery in the way i see the majority of AA'ers go about it. anyway, like many others, i have a desire to stop drinking and killing myself but i cant seem to get past the notion of never taking a drink again for the rest of my life. I have never believed that it is a 'disease' and feel strongly that it is a behavioral pattern that should be controlled and can be.
I am still proud of myself for having gone this long and cant imagine having a drink any time soon but am still uncomfortable going to a bar and not drinking right now.
i see that there are hundreds of posts and lots of information on this site and will spend as much time as possible reading and absorbing it all...
Thanks for reading. Any input is appreciated!

[Lavande]

probably about 60+ days and not countin'

Hi winegirl,

Welcome to MWO & congrats on your AF time - :goodjob:

I'm glad to hear that you benefit from your group therapy, AA is not for everyone.
I have used MWO as my 'therapy' for over 2 1/2 years now. I have to tell you the Hypno CDs really helped me change my thinking about AL & working to develop an attitude of gratitude works as well.
I am so grateful for my AF time, the freedom, the improved health & overall outlook. I no longer worry about never drinking AL again because I don't need it

Please post on some of the threads(AF Daily) & join in our brand of group therapy. You have done well & I wish you continued success!

Lav

[Doggygirl]

probably about 60+ days and not countin'

Hi Winegirl and :welcome: There are lots of different models of addiction and lots of different ways to tackle quitting drinking. I agree with Lav that no one way is for everyone. AA is based on the disease model, and if you fundamentally disagree with that model and DO believe in something different, then I can certainly see why AA is not comfortable. Good that you have a group therapy you like - the important thing is that you have found something that is working for you. Congratulations on your sober time and welcome to My Way Out! Many recovery paths are represented here.

DG

[RingingCedars]

probably about 60+ days and not countin'

:goodjob:and :welcome: WG. Sounds like you?re doing just fine. Investigating, honest and on your journey. Well done and all the best.

[Unwasted]

probably about 60+ days and not countin'

Winegirl, just wanted to welcome you - sounds like you're doing very well overall. I know it's really hard to think of never having another drink - I go through the same thing. Our society is so completely centered on socializing that revolves around alcohol. Maybe you can try finding some friends who don't drink - that would be half the battle.

Lot of good information on the site - read and post and you'll find support for whatever you're experiencing!