An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

[pixie]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Congrats on 60 days Mr. G!!

[NoraC]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hey Mr G - I didn't know that you had hit 60 days!!! Congratulations!

I am on 20 days (yet again ). Your post about that negative thinking came at a good point for me. Thank you for your post. I don't want to waste anymore weekends. I've had a wonderful one this weekend and I wouldn't have done any of it, if I had been drinking or thinking about drinking.

I love this thread. :h

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Well done G - 60 days, that is impressive!
Fly, I am now behind you - so sorry, I broke our pledge to make this work to 30 days, but will do it this time - please let me do it this time!!
Friday, I had a really bad day for a few reasons, and broke down and drank - one bottle again. Saturday and today, I have hung strong, and lurked here, but did not want to admit it - I feel like the habitual done it againer that folks will lose patience with.
I do want to do this, and I have to get thru a Friday safely and sanely - it is a really hard time and I am fighting hard, but every so often the sadness and the anger gets me and a moment of weakness it is all over.
I do need these threads to keep going and beat this, and I will do it one day - and hopefully will just get closer and closer every month. My first dry spell started Nov last year, so maybe I will manage Nov/Dec and Jan this time around and then just keep going!
So, sorry G's team, and especially you Fly - hang in as this time I am hanging on your coat tails and will come in just after you on the 30 days......
Well, another hurdle over in my personal life, and another step to my new life - should have been good news, need to keep looking forward, and stop looking backwards!

[NoraC]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hey - I just wanted to jump back in here and say something.

I have been here for 3 years. I thought I was never going to get it. But, I am feeling different. I am still not there but I am having more and more AF times. Like I said - it's 20 days this time. Last time, I think it was 19 or 20 also. Time before that, probably 30 or so. Point is that I am going for shorter drinking times and longer AF times.

We are all different. That is why I love this thread so much and am so grateful that Mr. G started it. We are not failures. We are finding our own way out. Sometimes the way is bumpy. But, we are getting there. We are learning things as we bump along. So, let's pick ourselves up and keep on going. :h

[clear eyes]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Happy to see all doing well. Mr. G CONGRATS! on 60, FF stay here. I left and have not been good. Know it is going to be a tough year and need to find other ways to deal with things. Nora I love your sharing that you have been her 3 years and earning more n more AF days. That is what I want.

[patrice]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hiya all,
hey G that's just great 60 days.. Onya!

Pat x

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hey, thanks y'all for the congratulations. It's nice to read.

Congratulations on 20 days AF Nora! That is huge. 21 days to break a habit and create new ones they say. Keep it going. :goodjob:

Good to see you Clear eyes.

Lassie, i hope you aren't putting too much pressure on yourself to keep up with people on their AF time. You don't let anyone else down at all as far as i'm concerned. We are all often at different stages of our journey, and sometimes we just aren't ready to stop and stay stopped yet. When this is the case, we need to stay as safe as possible, and be careful we don't put ourselves in danger whilst drinking till we work ourselves out. The safest way to drink is not to, but if we are drinking, my wish is that folks can use harm reduction techniques and just try not to go too hard. Wishful thinking i suppose for any of us.

Hope everyone's having a cruisey sunday.

L8tr, Yo!

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Good on G for 60 days!!!!!

Woop Woop!

[LillyE]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

FreeFly;1382001 wrote: Thanks for asking G, well probably bringing up the rear of this thread, no real change there then. Doing ok - reading, lurking, staying close. Thinking how happy I'd feel if I could post here one day, yay 30 days! How the hell have I not managed that in one whole year! Seriously, what is wrong with me. Everyone else seems to do it, no matter what's going on for them. ???

Sweetie, I've said it here before but I'll say it again. It took me a YEAR of trying to get to 30 days. The longest I went during that year was 24 days then after that relapse it was nine months before I even got back there. Making it to 80 felt amazing and I'm sad it'll be awhile longer now before 90 or 100 as I was so close. But it also made me think I need to focus less on counting days and more on embracing the idea of living totally and permanently Al free. What I don't want is to take months of drinking chaos to even get back to where I was. I hope that won't happen. I don't think it will though as I think those 80 days really started to show me how good it can be and I think it just gets better and better.

I can promise you this though - once you DO get past 30 days it DEFINITELY gets easier. I couldn't believe how much easier and faster the following 30 then 20 days went than the first 30 or all my other attempts prior. I guess that's the reason for the focus on 30 days as something does shift a bit thereafter or it did for me anyway.

But, it's a process. Don't compare yourself to others either. Just Keep Trying. I have read so many stories here from successful longtermers who I look up to here who had slips, falls, stumbles before they got there. People like Guitarista and K9 and Byrdie and MollyKa and Doggy Girl all come to mind. Please keep going. I don't know you in real life obviously but I can tell from your posts and lovely PMs that you have a beautiful and generous spirit and you deserve to find that freedom and happiness. If it takes you awhile to get there - oh well, that's the journey you've taken.

Lilly x

[LillyE]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Guitarista;1382028 wrote: Finally, after plugging away and not giving up, like you, i managed to crack 30 days, then 60 later on, only to drink again. I recall i was also a little too relaxed about the whole stopping drinking thing as my thinking went to....'ah, doesn't matter, i'll have a few this weekend, then stop on monday and back on the AF horse'. This was a negative thinking cycle/habit i got myself into. Finally, i began to understand, and fathom what i was doing. I was going in bloody circles and wasting my precious weekend time, not living, moving forward/growing as a person, and NOT making music, which is why i am on this planet. For me, the answer to stop ripping myself off, and creating the life i want, is to stop drinking. No moderating, no thinking about what if? can i? should i? No. Removing booze totally from my thinking and hence my life is the road that time and time again has shown me i must be on. And i am. p.s. i don't tell myself 'forever', as this is too overwhelming for me, though it works for some folk. I just enjoy and focus on where i'm at today and the foreseeable future, not 'forever', if that helps.

Stick with it buddy. Keep reading here, and keep trying to get your head around your personal relationship with booze and where it takes you every time. If you know you cannot moderate, then there you have it. The internal mental battle can be over. That 30 day challenge clip you posted is a great idea. Give it a crack doing something you really want to do and enjoy. Before you know it you'll be on your way.

A maaaagnificent monday morning here, so i'm off into it.

Lilly, how are ya?

L8tr, Yo! :h

G, this is just what I needed to read right now. What you described is where my head has falled into. That, 'Oh, now I've drunk, I'll just drink until X date and start over'. I know it's bullshit but it's there and I know it's going to take some concerted effort to fight it. (As I told G and FreeFly in PMs just now I fought off drinking urges for five days post my sake experience only to fall hard off the wagon last night.)

While not minimising my recent drinking there are definitely lessons I'm taking from it. I wrote a big list of them this morning in fact. I have to get some kip soon - another big day with work tomorrow - but I'll try to post more on all that tomorrow in case it helps anyone else. (And probably good for me to reiterate it too.)

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Stay strong Lilly - I know I have learnt and got stronger from every lapse that I have had (and there have been too many).
Clear Eyes - welcome back, glad to see you were able to come back, that is what is important.
Wise words G and thank you - I am drinking a whole heck less than i was 18mos ago, and that is just great - and when I drink, I am very aware that I am, so steps forward for sure.

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

G, THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONSIDERED REPLY. IT WAS JUST WHAT I NEEDED TO HEAR. I VALUE YOUR APPROACH TO LIFE AND THIS LEARNING CURVE WE ALL SHARE. YES, EACH OF OUR JOURNEYS IS DIFFERENT AND WE WILL CONQUER OUR DEMONS IN OUR OWN TIME. I DO RESPECT AND RESONATE WITH YOUR SPIRITUAL APPROACH. I KNOW MY PURPOSE TOO AND SEE HOW I SCUPPER IT WITH MY DARK SIDE. I DO HOWEVER, BELIEVE THAT THERE’S A REASON FOR IT AND THAT YOU CAN’T FULLY KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THE LIGHT WITHOUT DESCENDING INTO THE DARK. WHEN I’M SOBER THINGS EFFORTLESSLY FALL INTO PLACE AND DOORS OPEN UP , SO I’M LEFT WONDERING WHY A PART OF ME CONTINUES TO SELF-SABOTAGE. ONE THING I DO KNOW IS THAT I WILL EVENTUALLY CONQUER – I REALLY HAVE NO OPTION. I CAN’T SEE FOR A SECOND MY LIFE CONTINUING AD INFINITUM ON A SPIRAL OF SELF DESTRUCTION. BUT LIKE YOU SAY, MY MIND NEEDS TO KNOW WHO’S BOSS – SNEAKY ALKIE BRAIN OR MY HIGHER SELF. I THINK I NEED TO BE A BIT MORE TOUGH LOVE WITH MYSELF ON THAT POINT OR, LIKE YOU SAY, I WILL JUST BE A BIT TOO RELAXED ABOUT FALLING OFF THAT WAGON AND GO ROUND AND AROUND IN ENDLESS CIRCLES. POINTLESS WASTE OF PRECIOUS TIME. NOT THAT I’M SAYING I SHOULD BEAT MYSELF UP, BUT PERHAPS KICK MYSELF UP THE JACKSIE JUST A LITTLE BIT. THANK YOU AGAIN.

LASSIE, PLEASE DON’T FOR A SECOND THINK YOU’VE LET ME DOWN – FAR, FAR FROM IT. IF ANYTHING I’VE LET YOU DOWN, BUT LET’S NOT GO THERE. WE’RE IN THIS TOGETHER TO SUPPORT EACH OTHER WHEREVER WE FIND OURSELVES. I’M SORRY YOU’RE GOING THROUGH SUCH A ROUGH TIME BUT THINGS ARE MOVING FORWARD FOR YOU. YOU’RE GETTING CLOSURE ON THINGS – IT’S JUST NOT AN EASY PROCESS. HANG IN THERE HONEY, YOU’RE DOING GREAT.

LILLY – BLESS YOU FOR YOUR KIND WORDS, THEY MADE ME SMILE. AGAIN I’M SORRY ALKIE BRAIN GOT ONE OVER ON YOU BUT PLEASE DON’T DENY YOURSELF AN AMAZING 80 DAYS. AS KY SAID TO ME NOT SO LONG AGO, YOU’RE A DIFFERENT PERSON NOW. I REALLY DON’T THINK YOU’LL FIND YOURSELF IN THAT HELL HOLE YOU ONCE WERE. DUST YOUR LOVELY SELF OFF AND GET BACK ON THAT SOBER TRAIN. I CONTINUE TO FOLLOW AND BE INSPIRED BY YOUR JOURNEY.

CLEAR EYES – WELCOME BACK. IT’S VERY GOOD TO SEE YOU. I HOPE YOU’LL STICK AROUND AND JOURNEY WITH US ALL BACK TO SOBRIETY. WE CAN DO THIS!!

NORA – THANKS FOR SHARING YOUR STRUGGLES – IT REALLY DOES HELP. AND CONGRATULATIONS ON 20 DAYS – THAT’S JUST FANTASTIC. AND YOU’RE RIGHT, WE’RE NOT FAILURES, WE’RE JUST EXPERIENCING SOME BUMPS ON OUR OWN PERSONAL WAYS OUT.

LOVE AND THANKS TO ALL

ps. can't change the font for some reason - it looks like I'm shouting, sorry! Did it in Word and can't change it.

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

A very good morning to everyone from a soon to be sunny Melbourne town.

Good to see you Lilly. I know i wasn't the only one wondering how you are.

You're welcome FF. Go get 'em!

I think i'll always remember my sobriety date, as the counting the days thoughts after a while naturally give way to focusing and enjoying each day doing something i love, and growing as a person.

Have a good one out there y'all.

[Kradle123]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Guitarista;1382330 wrote: A very good morning to everyone from a soon to be sunny Melbourne town.

Good to see you Lilly. I know i wasn't the only one wondering how you are.

You're welcome FF. Go get 'em!

I think i'll always remember my sobriety date, as the counting the days thoughts after a while naturally give way to focusing and enjoying each day doing something i love, and growing as a person.

Have a good one out there y'all.

Mr G. Two months ! :l

To be honest I thought you had like 2 years because you always have wonderful advice and honest opinions...you are the most together person I have never met!


:rockband::applaud::rockon:

[Kradle123]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Guitarista;1382330 wrote: A very good morning to everyone from a soon to be sunny Melbourne town.

Good to see you Lilly. I know i wasn't the only one wondering how you are.

You're welcome FF. Go get 'em!

I think i'll always remember my sobriety date, as the counting the days thoughts after a while naturally give way to focusing and enjoying each day doing something i love, and growing as a person.

Have a good one out there y'all.

Mr G. Two month!! :l

But to be honest I thought you had like 2 years because you always have wonderful advice and honest opinions...you are the most together person I have never met!


:rockband::applaud::rockon: