An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

How quickly I feel like a piece of rubbish. So disappointed in myself. Thank you for your kind words and yes I will have a green day today, but I have to realise that every day for the rest of my life has to be a green day. Oh my God, that really is true. I just can't drink - there, I've said it out loud. Why the bloody hell would I want to poison myself after I felt so good. When will I get it in my thick head. Typing this through tears as I want to remember how much I hate myself right now, how quickly I feel depressed and how quickly my life feels out of control. I know as the poison leaves my system I will feel better. Thank you for listening. Pity party over

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hello Marhall, I'm sorry you have fallen too. Come on, let's get back on the wagon together and find our happy heads again.

[Marhall]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Yes FF, let's do it. I was feeling so great. Why???? We can start as from now, but don't let us forgot the days we were successful, because they will carry us through a little.

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi Marhall and FF.

Don't forget yer https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Handy reading for day 1.

[Marhall]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Thank you G. So bloody mad at myself.

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Making my way over there now. And yes, Marhall, have to remember the good days.
NEVER AGAIN!

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

It's amazing how much we can hate ourselves isn't it?

Last night I went out with a GF'S and we had wine - miracle - I didn't have too much or even want to - and as much as I wanted to have a fight with the SO - in this case it wasn't the AL talking - he had been mean - I knew he would say it was and that would be the end - I out the phone on airplane mode - zipped it in my handbag - left it on the other side if the house - and took a melatonin and went to bed.

I know I am going AL free totally in the next two weeks and have been cutting down - had been up so high - needed to let the body down grade some - was a bit afraid of what might pysiologicaly happen at this point if I didn't wean down some while waiting for the AB.

But yes - on a bad morning - the self loathing is over powering. I hate it. I am so ready to have those mornings gone forever.

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

And Free and Marshall - we can do this. We deserve it for ourselves. XOXO.

But I am very very ready for that AB package to get here already. I know me. When cheating is off the table, it's off the table. it's a stupid mind game - but with my mind - it works.

Crazy AL brain. Rolls-eyes at self

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Prairie Fairy;1366313 wrote: And Free and Marshall - we can do this. We deserve it for ourselves. XOXO.

But I am very very ready for that AB package to get here already. I know me. When cheating is off the table, it's off the table. it's a stupid mind game - but with my mind - it works.

Crazy AL brain. Rolls-eyes at self

Hi Prairie,

Best wishes with the AB. Let us know how you go won't you.

It's getting a little late here, so i'm hitting the hay. Take care everyone.

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hey Prairie -well done on avoiding fight last night and yes, best of luck with AB. I'd be too scared of taking it which makes me wonder why I wasn't scared of alcohol poisoning
Feeling much better now and determined not to spiral. Showered, had small walk (body was weak!), eaten, taken remedies and reading, reading, reading MWO. Lots of good stuff in toolbox and interesting bits elsewhere about people trying to mod (I can't!).
Will write my plan down this evening. I want to work on my mindset and commitment to a lifetime of sobriety.

[Kradle123]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Good morning everyone:
Free and Marshall- this is so hard ! But I really believe that it took a fair amount of time to get ourselves here us so its going to take awhile to get out. I keep thinking of that Mark Twain quote: it's easy to quit smoking. I've done it hundreds of times!!

PF you are so right it is amazing how much we hate ourselves. Until I found MWO I truly believed no one and I mean no one could hate themselves, think less of themselves more then I did. Then I come here, see all you amazing, funny, smart, working people and realize that there are people out there, all around the world who have similar thoughts, views...
So after every log in here I can sometimes think that maybe I'm not the horrible, stupid, incompetent person I think I am....Still tough though!

On an off note: the girls did awesome!!!!! :wd::wd: I am so proud. Guys and Dolls is pretty sophisticated musical and though the twins have preformed before on stage, this was their first theater experience.
I was amazed , truly, how natural they seemed up there. Sedona, Bless her heart, even found herself in a scene where the other actress missed her entrance completely! But she improvised really well and turned the scene around until the her co-actor got on stage !! I would have freaked.

Matt didn't do so well in his group performance which was at entirely different venue. Unfortunately there is now drama brewing with the studio he and the girls attend and the teacher/owner is making very bad decisions which are affecting are kids. Not sure what to do. I hope this ends soon as I really don't need this ridiculous stress. Let's all pray this woman gets a clue and realizes that we are her clients not her kids back up singers! ::argh:

Any way, I'm giving the kids a completely down day today. The twins were pretty spun up and crazy after the show last night. Crying, fighting , crying and over very nothing stuff. So slow pleasant day ...and we're going to get the girls new bikes as a reward for all their hard work -they really have been working their behinds off! 9-4 every day with academic classes 2 days a week with homework and extra rehearsing for an additional show they wanted to do!! So for being only ten years old I think they need some positive reinforcement...and we were getting them new bikes anyway :H

Hugs to everyone today,
:l

[Marhall]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Thanks to everyone for there support. I am feeling a little better today. Just need to get another few days under my belt again.:thanks:

[ronnie]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi everyone
Can i join this thread as i feel i need some suport, i am back on day 2 but i am feeling good and more determind than ever to beat this. I dont get any suport from home so i feel i need to post alot more here.
Together we can win and be happy
Thanks
Ronnie xx

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

ronnie;1366461 wrote: Hi everyone
Can i join this thread as i feel i need some suport, i am back on day 2 but i am feeling good and more determind than ever to beat this. I dont get any suport from home so i feel i need to post alot more here.
Together we can win and be happy
Thanks
Ronnie xx

Jump right in Ronnie. Good to see you.

Congratulations to you and the kids Kradle. Showbiz is full of drama!

Keep it going Marhall and FF. You will start to feel much better in a day or 2.

A week off work here. Very nice, and one thing's for sure......There will be no AL for this young fella. Off to an AA meeting later. I'm not a regular, but have been to a few the last couple of years. I always find them warm, real, and inspiring. Gives me a raw and real connection to other folk like me too. It's kind a special.

Take care all, and kick some ass.

[NoraC]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hey all.

Kradle - so happy that the performance went so well. Sorry about Matt's though.

I did drink yesterday. Not beating myself up today though. I did drink too much but I am realizing that I am doing so much better than I was. I am using a calendar and putting happy faces on all of my AF days. It's a really good visual for me. I love seeing all those green happy face stickers. So - back to a green happy face today.

Ronnie - good to see you here.

I really love this thread. Positive people working to find our way out. :h