An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Oh Fly - so true!!! I have a couple appointments today so had to get up on a Saturday morning, and I am fully functional - yeah!!!
It is just 7:30, but I am already feeling that it will be a battle day, but as I get stronger, I feel more on for the battle.
Have a great green weekend all...

[fluff]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hey all- Made it through the night and onto day 2- but had a tossing and turning sort of night- just could not fall asleep! Glad to see everyone resisting their cravings-
Off to do chores- and run out to Starbucks with my daughter-
Have a super Saturday!

[Kradle123]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Well...Holy Mother of God..Jesus Mary & Joseph...Bloody Hell and Fuck Oh Dear..
:hitme::hitme::hitme::hitme:
This has been the Fortnight From hell...And may I just say that if it were not for you good people and my best friend Janet and my beautiful twin daughters I'd most likely winging my way to The Last Stop Texaco by now...

Some of you may know that one of my dearest friends attacked my twins last Sunday night in an alcoholic rage during a sleepover with her twins. I don't want to give details as its too much to keep reliving it in my head but suffice to say she started out innocently wresting with my daughter, who pushed her away not wanting to engage and Kristin sees this as rejection and it escalated from there with her bruising them, leaving welts, pulling Sedona's pants down and hitting her with a book, sitting on them, screaming ' Dont Fuck with me! " over and over at them..completely shitfaced. I missed the frantic call from my daughter at 1130 that night begging to come home. I left the phone in the other room. I didn't hear it! As for Larry, her husband...I still have no answer yet from him as to why he didn't bring my children home other than he drinks too. Not like her but enough that I'm sure he didn't have it all together either. Larry is a good man. He has been dealing with her for years trying to get her help but we all know you can't help us if we don't really want it....

My husband and I had agreed NOT to let our girls sleep over there anymore but the twins had worked so hard on their Performances, their Kumon, they had been so good, they had their new bikes...I fricken caved. Part of me feels like what the hell! I might as well have been shit faced myself for all the judgement I used leaving my girls with her when I know full well she is a raging Alcolhilic and gets drunk at night. And I left my fricken phone out of reach !!!

But I will NOT go there in my head because that way leads to a crazy spiral downward and a run over to Costco for you know what.

My head is going to this place: My girls are Ok. They understand Ms. Kristin is sick and is now getting help. They feel proud that they were instrumental in getting her help because they love her, and they love their friiends Gabby and Bella. And the sad tragedy is Sober Kristin is one of the most generous, warm hearted beautiful woman you will ever meet and I am crying just writing this. She and I did drink together I admit this and we were not always restrained but I started my journey to free myself almost 2 years ago and I continued to encourage her to join me. I do think that the last three months I haven't been drinking just...well, perhaps it just sent her over the edge. Made her look to closely at herself again. Too much pain. Too much upsetness. My girls told me that at one point she looked at them and said, " I don't parent like your mother." Well, ' nough said there.

Now on the flip side of this coin, because you now sobriety is the gift that just keeps on frickin' giving: last night at final rehearsal for this fair tonight, I come to find out that Matt, my wonderful, mature (Not! ) son went in front of his entire class the day before and explained to them how their mom- that would be me- had been trashing the teacher and didn't like the way the studio was run and I thought the teacher was fat and I hated her and on and on and on ... He had the whole class crazy, up in arms, the teacher furious at me and it took over an hour to hash this bull shit out. I was fuckin livid as well as exhausted. This COMPLETELY blindsided me - please excuse all my expletives - I just need to vent.

Needless to say I was nearly incompacitated with anger, embarrassment and a few things unmentionable. Readers digest version: The teacher had done some things I had disagreed with regarding my kids as had other parents who contacted me. I made it clear to Matt that I was unhappy with the way she was doing some of her business practices but that I thought she was a great teacher and had a wonderful program...But my son is...well...he is incapable of separating common critical observation from intense emotional drama and so what was said in the privacy of my home - which most children at almost 14 years of age no better than to blurt outside the home- he felt no problem in lecturing everyone about how awful I was. What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

Parents were appalled by him. His classmates took him out and still he was incapable of seeing he had done anything wrong. He took off from the studio last night. No one could find him...more fricken drama...I had another kid he had launched into crying; another parent asking me what the hell my son was doing...Fuck!!

So...As I said at the top of this post - Jesus , Mary and Joseph...
I am so thankful that all my supps are here and I did go out to the GNC and get the powder LGlut. I do think this is better/stronger as it is 5x the potency. I also got the GABA this time so believe it or not I don't want to drink.

But I don't want to jinx myself so let's see how the rest of the day goes

Thanks for listening to this ridiculous diatribe of tribulations. But here's how I see it. As I free myself from the all the shit of Alcohol living I did for so long, well, frankly, the markers are starting to come in.. Plain and simply and there is nothing I can do about it .
It's Cause and Effect and as a Buddhist I know that the Law of Cause & Effect is very strict and is there for a reason: To teach us. Like it or not, here we come.

So like it or not, here I am...Shoot. But at least this time I'm not alone.
Will check in later after the kids performance. Tonight. Wish us luck and :thanks:

Hugs and love,

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Kradle, I've PM'd :l

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Oh Kradle - I am sending love and hugs. That sucks completely. OMFG. Good luck tonight.

[patrice]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi everyone

Kradle... really trying times, I'm sorry and relearning to cope without Al is difficult at first.

I'm also going through some of those times myself right now so also trying to use different coping stategies, so far it's a bit of trial and error for me and some things seem to be working and some don't....

Anyway, happy to say for the last 4 days Alcohol hasn't played ANY part in those strategies so I'm super glad about that!

Have a great day and take care
Patrice

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Wow Kradle,

you are an absolute legend the way your are handling all of this....i.e. not running to the bottle.

Thanks for sharing and venting, and that's what we're here for. Good luck with the performance! Sobriety sure is a gift. And please accept a few of these :l:l:l

Congratulations on day 4 Patrice. Keep it going friend. :l

Sun is out here, and i'm off into the day.

(will pick up some spinach on the way home)

[hadit]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Ah Kradle, You are really having a tough time of it! Congradulations on not hitting the bottle, that takes real courage! Life sometimes just gets harder and harder. Hope all goes well tonight. Wished I could have refused the cravings last week when my drug affected GS caused us huge problems,still is!! However, back on track now and sending u strenghth!!! Let us know how it all goes.

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi Kradle - I know that when I started on the AL path, it was such a huge move for me, and such an enormous life change that I had an unrealistic expectation that everything on the otherside would be hunky dory, and the let down when it wasn't was so hard. I then managed to realise that all the same problems carried on the same, but I was sober - noticed more (which made it feel that there were more problems) and actually started to fix things instead of crawling into a bottle and ignoring things!
You have some big problems and worries, but I know you will be in such a better place to deal with them, and because of that, things will start to improve - keep on going and do not let the bottle devil tempt you :l:l
You have a new found strength to face things straight on and find good answers!

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Greetings all,

A sunny monday morning here, and today i know that the world is my oyster/mussell/apple, or handful of spinach, and that i can do anything, and so can you.

How are you going Kradle? Hope things have settled down a bit.

Wishing everyone a safe, sober, happy and magical week ahead.

Hiya Boozer! All the best with your young one

Best wishes with school you heroic teachers!

G-bloke.

[patrice]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hiya all
thanks for the school thoughts G
Feels good to go back hangover free
Have a cool day
Patrice

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Green one here and off to bed. Night all

[Kradle123]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi everybody and thank you for your posts. I've bumped some of this post from another thread, so sorry if some is the same. I'm somewhat scattered...

Well, That was days and days worth of the most violently horrible feelings but things are indeed calming down here Mr. G. :h

My husband called Larry (her husband) yesterday (they are also good friends) and the upshot is Kristin is now in out patient rehab and AA. She is a ' complete wreck' as she realizes what she did to my children which I know had she been sober she wouldn't have done. She is using her church community to stay with her in the evenings and her parents when her husband is out of town.

Larry told my husband that if she were to EVER go back to AL, he would absolutely end the marriage and take the children. I believe him completely. He has dealt with this too long. Our families were (are...) very close. He has had enough. I think that was her absolute Bottom. In a weird way it was mine too...

My kids are fine. In fact I am keeping the girls updated (in little girl terms) because they do love her and they are very pleased and proud that they are responsible (as I have explained it) for helping Ms Kristin get healthy so we can 'see her big heart again' as one of my twins said.
I think that says it all.
So I'm tired as you can imagine but all the supps are really helping as did all the support from here. :h :thanks:

And last nights concert went great!! That was SUCH A BIG HELP! :rockband:
My husband went up to their teacher and gave her this big bear hug and said Ms Blank! We love you ! ' And she was really glad. All the air was cleared but Matt's ass is still grass. I am restricting him from the studio this session though he doesn't know it. I simply can not trust him and this is the biggest most powerful consequence I can think of . We're meeting this week with his instructor.

So that's all the news that fit to post hopefully the back to school home stretch will be uneventfull and alcohol free. I am so grateful to everyone for their support and experience and guidance. Maybe Kristin will be joining us soon and Matt will write a song about this that sells millions of copies and all this shit will be but a happy memory...

Hugs,
:l

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hang in there Kradle - your attitude to all this is incredible! Just think how much harder it would all be if you were drinking.

FF - another green dot for me too....

Tomorrow, I will be dealing with one of the toughest cases I have handled in my career and I am very nervous - I am so glad that I will be sober going into this, and not in my normal foogy Monday world. Not sure that I will be home to be posting, hopefully I will find a moment to check in...so to all, happy sober sunday evening and have a wonderful Monday :l

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Yay, good stuff Kradle.

You are handling this rollercoaster ride, so you'd have to say you can handle ANYTHING life throws your way from here on! :nutso::yay::band2:

Best wishes for class SL. Your natural charm will slay the little critters.

All green here, with no traffic jams up ahead.