An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Morning.

Ugh. This is a long week. Blah Fooey. But I'm still AF - Day 10.

[K9Lover]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Guitarista;1370925 wrote: 'Bumming fags', 'hump days'......

YO!

At least we're not humping fags. :k

Happy Thursday everyone! Although I guess it's already Friday for some of you...I can't figure it out...hurts me little pea brain.

Hey G-Bloke, I made dinner last night without dropping anything...can you believe it? LOL There was no spinach or cornbread involved though.

I woke up with my lungs ACHING...until I remembered I don't smoke anymore! Kind of like those "drinking dreams" we get sometimes. I've actually woke up hungover until I remember I didn't drink. LOL

Ok...Fag update: 4 days, 1 hour, 29 minutes, 17 seconds

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Wide awake club this end cos of neighbours' drunken party. Parents away so on their 3rd night. Least it won't be me with the hangover

[clear eyes]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi all! Survived the first day of school. Thank you SL for your respect of teachers. Everyone thinks we have the summers off...You have no idea of how much money we put into our classrooms and time we spend in our classrooms during the summer preparing them that we are not paid for. Anyway I am here not perfect but very busy!
Kudos to all! PF you are doing so well. Mr. G. 30 days! SL 7 days! If I missed anyone I am sorry.
Off to bed to be ready for day 2.

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Day 11 - and I'm still feeling hit by a bus - but I'm closing in on Magic Day 13/14 so - I'm hanging in and lo and behold - customs decided to see fit to release the antabuse and according to the tracking systems - it's here in town - getting ready to be delivered today...

As I posted in the nest - sad to say - after the first bout of elation - YAY - I'm moving to a 3-5 day game of dealing with my motivations and that's good. I'm bad with immediate impulse control but if I can sleep on it, I'll wake up tomorrow feeling different - which is why this will help a LOT while I learn different coping mechanisms and get different life strategies under my belt.

And my second reaction was - better get loaded one more time before I start taking it....HOW MESSED UP is our AL Lizard brains?!

I half think I better tear that package open and get one onboard ASAP before I do something stupid now...

DoggyGirl - you take the AB - how long after you get one in your system before you can't take a drink? I know it's not a long build up....thank goodness...

[K9Lover]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Good morning everyone!

PF - I replied to your questions in your AB thread so I won't bore you with my answers again here. LOL I'm so happy your pills have arrived in town. Have you ordered a large supply? When I first started them, I took 2 pills per day (250mg each) for 7 days, and now I take 1 pill per day...every single day. I completely understand what your AL brain is saying to you...believe me, I had many times where I'd go off AB and have one "last night" before I started again. You don't want to do that...just pop the pill! My daily mantra is: TTDP (TAKE THE DAMN PILL)

Freefly - Oh my, your neighbors must be teens huh? Back in my drunken days I would have been over there with them every single night....I'm sure they'd love a middle age lady like me crashing their party. LOL Hopefully the parents come home soon!

Ok...daily update: Smoke free for: 5 days, 25 minutes, 7 seconds.

Happy sober weekend everyone!!!

K9

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi DG -

I ordered what I could from River - a 60 day supply - but they were HUGELY expensive in comparision- and then somebody mentioned AllDay Chemist - which took better than a month to sort because HOLY CRAP they don't do very well selling in the US or customer service - no wonder there's a massive cost difference.

But AllDay eventually got sorted - and I have a (HOLY CRAP) 500 day supply coming - given how slow that's likely to take - it's probably going to get here as my 60 day is fixing to run low...

So - if I needed it in less than a month - I'd call River. If I had freekin' forever but wanted a MOUNTAIN of it for nothing - I'd call AllDay.

And congratulations on being smoke free...glad you didn't take the Chantix - that gave one of my GF's bad hallucinations about her knife rack - has freaked me out a bit ever since! :-)

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Ugg ? feel terrible today ? dry mouth, headache, grumpy, miserable ? so you all know what happened. I thought I was on a roll, and was going to finish August strong. It has been a bitch of a week, and I was really trying to remain positive, in retrospect and review, I hit the HALT thing ? hungry, angry, lonely and tired. I went to store late at night as I got off work really late and that was the end. I was feeling sorry for myself and decided a glass of wine would help. well, no surprise, it did not help at all and after finishing the bottle it only made everything worse.
The only good thing I can say is that each slip reminds me again and again why I want to be rid of this, I am hoping for the day that that message truly sinks in! it is amazing how all the best intentions are just blown to the wind in one mad minute.
So I will go without groceries etc if I can?t shop in the morning ? I knew I was vulnerable when I entered the store, but told myself over and over that I could do it ? NOT!.
So will finish August with 20 days AF, and a commitment to beat that in Sept ? hopefully by a long margin!
I really am sad and disappointed today and just trying to chalk it up to a learning experience?.hope everyone else is doing better than I am?.

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

SL - you know I know how you feel. No beat up ok - you've had a great August. Flippin annoying isn't it! No matter, dust self off, don't think, ah well weekend's here may as well carry on, as it will be harder to stop. Just let it go, get your day one in and before you know it you'll feel happy again. We will get there - the elusive 30 days! Big hug :l (well actually you've probably been there before, it's just me who hasn't - but I will!)

Yes K9 we've got a whole bunch of teens turning up every night - yay! Hoping for a quiet night this evening but hear they're planning a nice big party for Saturday. Drunk people are really annoying don't you think!

Nice to see you CE, glad you're back. G, Patrice and all - wishing you a sober, peaceful and happy weekend :h

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hugs Scottish Lass. Late night trips to the grocery store killed me every time. I got to where either I ate take out, what was at home, or just didn't go in. The gauntlet in the grocery store made me break out into a sweat every time.

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hello Prairie, well done on your AB decision - I'd just be too scared to take it. You'll definitely get a great start in - well done! Let me know if it quietens your mind re the al thoughts.

[K9Lover]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

SL - I can relate to the late night run to the store. I used to do it all the time, after several beers and in my yoga pants that have a big hole in the right arse cheeck...cute eh? Not only was I already drunk, but I was stumbling around mooning the poor liquor store guy. I wonder if he misses me and my white ass? LOL

Not to make light of your situation, but hopefully it gave you a little chuckle...

Hang in there, we've all "started over" more times than we can count.

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

You will laugh - but after I took it - someone sent me a note about it being the first football weekend.

Um - I spend every football game pickled. Pickled to the bone. Have for the last 25 years. It's a ritual. Every last game - smashed. For 25 years. My game is tonight. And I had forgotten.

WHAT are the odds that the AB was going to come today, I slammed the pill THEN someone reminded me about the game?!

If I'd known before hand the lizard brain would probably have won!!!!!! I would likely be three sheets to the wind tonight, getting dumped tomorrow - and hating myself like no one's business ever - all over a stupid football game.

Seriously? There but for the grace of God go I.

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Well done PF - good for you! FF - I feel teh same way about AB - I think i am going to give thsi one more serious try and if I can't I may have to get over being scared...Enjoy the ball game Prairie - sounds like you maybe discovering a completely new game :H
K9, FF, PF - thank you for the support, I am just so shocked this time that I flopped so quickly - I did feel that I was making it, I really thought this time was different. It is noon and I still feel like crap...just hate that!

[Prairie Fairy]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Well - is anyone else tarring and feathering you? If not - you are swimming in only your guilt? Then that at least is good - because that is plenty of guilt for one day...

Start over. Dust yourself off.

As to the AB - I know for a fact I wouldn't make it without it. Not right now. I don't have enough short term impulse control for all the bad crap life is throwing at me. I don't have good enough coping mechanisms yet. That's no excuse. I intend to learn coping mechanisms. But I can't wait to stop drinking until I learn them. I'll lose too much if I wait. So - scary as it is - AB it is. Because as long as I'm forced to go to sleep without drinking - I will wake up in the morning in a different place mentally. I always do.