An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Mr G, Molly, Pooks, DB, Clear Eyes & Scottish Lass - hi all

Hoping all those on day one had a great day. Very happy to have this thread resurrected and some pals on day one, not that I'm happy you're going through this crap, but you know what I mean.

You all seem to have had some good runs - can't say the same this end - only small periods AF. Not going to give those AL thoughts legs this time - bit of self control won't go amiss.

DB - you sound sad, I hope you're feeling better tonight locking down your day one. 20 years - awesome!! You've done it once, you can do it again. Wishing you strength.

Pooks, Clear Eyes & Scottish Lass - you too - hope you made it through today. I had a massage tonight - great way to start, feeling blissed out :happyheart:

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi to Kradle too Way to go on your 30 days

[Dogwood Blossom]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

I know tomorrow will be better, but with that comes the thoughts. Was today really that bad? Maybe you just have to CONTROL better. I need for the pain of this day to stick with me. No matter how I plan, it never ends well. I have to see that again. I have to start thinking it all the way through. Today all I can do is lick my wounds. Tomorrow will be better!

[Trixiebelle]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi all,

I've been hanging out at the long term moderators thread, but must have been subscribed to this thread from way back when.

The stories here are inspiring and I am jumping on board the AF wagon - not sure how far I'll get but I'm going to give it a go - I'm scared sh*tless about it all. Probably because the little demon sitting on my shoulder that pisses in my ear - you all know the one - is telling me I probably won't be able to do it....truth is I have never tried to go AF. My AL career spans over 30 years, so it's time.

I'm going interstate to visit my teetotaller Mother, who's husband has passed away, so it's a good time to make a start as all the triggers aren't there. I used a visit to her to give away the fags 4 years ago.

Looking forward to it though

[Dogwood Blossom]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Trixiebelle, it is really scary to think about life without AL, but if you take it one day at a time, there will come a time when AL is not part of your every thought! I can remember the first time I got sober learning who I am without AL. I found after awhile that I did actually have a personality, a sense of humor, and talents that I was unaware of. Remembering all those things is what keeps pulling me back. I want that life again, instead of the one where I hide bottles of wine, lie to my boss about not being able to come to work, and basically lieing to everyone including myself. Let's hang in there, Trixiebelle, and see what life has for us!

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Looking forward to going to bed, then I can stop thinking :H too early just now, the witching hour is really heating up here on the west coast......looking forward to tomorrow morning and knowing that we made it thru....

[Trixiebelle]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

You're so right DB, thanks for the support :l Looking at the big picture is too overwhelming, breaking it down to focussing on just today makes it much easier.

Why the hell do we drink this crap when we know how soul destroying it is?? Doesn't make sense does it.

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

mollyka;1354073 wrote: I love seeing this thread resurrected! And hey to MrG Freefly Kradle!!
The title of this thread grabbed me at the time it was started. I think it's incredible how many peeps on here have successful quits first time round - happy exciting sober periods - be it 6 weeks/months/years - and then relapse, and find it so hard to find that - I dunno - what IS it - the strength? motivation????? --- to get it into gear and do it again?
My first quit was relatively painless - and very exciting - every day was an adventure cos I'd never been 3/10/100........ days sober before - but I truly struggled to maintain sobriety for nearly 2 yrs after that relapse. 3 months sober -- relapse - and again and again.
This time I feel the excitement of that first quit - I think going to treatment and hitting this thing with all the big guns was the key - AA, Aftercare, making new friends not my ex-drinking friends, my husband has even stopped drinking.
Anyway - sorry - that was 'all about me' -- I think it's a great thread tho - and anyone who has any period of sobriety under their belt - don't throw it away on a whim - it's not always easy getting back!!

Hiya Molly. Great to see you and gr8 post.

Wow, i turn my back and there are all these cool people here!

Hello and welcome again FF, Dogwood, Pooky, Clear eyes, Scottish Lass, Trixie, and those lurkers in my favourite place of all, the cheap seats.

Trixie, for me, the moderation journey has been a difficult, confounding, irrational, and painful one, but a totally necessary path for me to experience, to get it through my thick head that ultimately, i am not built for moderation. AL as we know is cunning and baffling, and will do anything to remain in our lives. It is all lies for people like me (us) who do not want to stop at 2 drinks like non addicts. For some reason, my body chemistry is a little out of whack, and having a drink or 2 and stopping is not what i have done, or will do again. The floodgates open for me, and there i go getting myself numb, not rowdy, but numb and errr.......DUMB. Number and dumber in every way. Sorry to hear of your loss. Give booze the flick. We don't need it. I've wasted so many precious years getting numb. Today is where we can begin again if we choose to. There are other ways we can chill and relax naturally without the aneasthetic.

Keep going for it everyone. Sobriety is a no brainer. It is win win all the way no matter which way we look at it. For me in early sobriety i.e. day 1/first few weeks, i needed to get tough with myself, commit, and get a solid, realistic, achievable daily plan/routine/structure. I'm just a meathead from up the street, but this has been my experience.

Follow your bliss. :welcome: (to your new life)

[techie]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

You sound GREAT Mr. G!!!

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Yo Techie!

Thanks mate. I am in good spirits. (err, the non AL kind). Hope you're well, and great to see you as always.

[nicelife]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Mr G - you were part of the motivational component of keeping sober. You and Nelz. Sobriety is a no brainer, once you get the right head space but until then it is hard to quit again. You make a difference around the boards, that's why I always used to send you a salute on the Undies board.

Just love you being around.....

As ever, Nicey.

[Trixiebelle]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Yeah who stops at 2 drinks wish I could. Once I start, most days it's way more than that.

I find my negative self talk pathetic - I have a certain situation that I find hard to deal with involving a 'friend' of mine. I'm not going to bore you all with the details, needless to say that I need to deal with it very soon because it's not helping my cause to get all of this under control.

I would like to moderate, though as you say Guitarista, its a difficult journey with no real boundaries, pretty darn dangerous really. Most moderators have had success after a time AF, which I rejected at first, but I'm gradually starting to see that it's probably the only way.

I'm sick of the disappointment.

[Trixiebelle]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

nicelife;1354427 wrote: Sobriety is a no brainer, once you get the right head space but until then it is hard to quit again.

Well put Nicey It is all about head space - I read Jason Vales's book recently - the one called Give up the drink easily or something like that, but even though I agreed with what he said, it didn't change my mind, still kept drinking :bang

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Trixiebelle;1354429 wrote: Yeah who stops at 2 drinks wish I could. Once I start, most days it's way more than that.

I find my negative self talk pathetic - I have a certain situation that I find hard to deal with involving a 'friend' of mine. I'm not going to bore you all with the details, needless to say that I need to deal with it very soon because it's not helping my cause to get all of this under control.

I would like to moderate, though as you say Guitarista, its a difficult journey with no real boundaries, pretty darn dangerous really. Most moderators have had success after a time AF, which I rejected at first, but I'm gradually starting to see that it's probably the only way.

I'm sick of the disappointment.

Hi Noicey! Thanks. :h

Hey Trixie,

Well, you know that drinking when we are going through any sort of difficult time just serves to highlight and magnify any negative features of the situation, accompanied by much dwelling on those negatives, and less time thinking clearly and finding and taking the action we need to. For me, the moderation thing is something we just have to arrive at ourselves, but we must be very careful we don't dissapear into the abyss of problem drinking and self abuse, which from my experience and seeing other folk's journey's, is the likely, usual outcome. Moderation is a dangerous path once we have crossed that line into 'problem drinking' and self/alcohol abuse. Some people die in the process, still clinging to the (in my case) illusion that they can control their drinking.

Glad to hear you are going for some AF time for now. 'Forever' can be an overwhelming concept, so as a lot of folk find, taking a one day at a time, or one hour at a time attitude breaks it down into achievable. I need to be committed, and ruthless in my sobriety for at least the first 30 days, otherwise i get slack, lazy, and back to square/day one. Some people don't come back after having that first drink again, and they go on to a slow suicide. This is serious business (i know you are serious), and life or death for many of us, physically, spiritually, emotionally.

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Dogwood,

I hear you friend. Good to have you around.

Have you seen our Toolbox thread? Essential reading i suggest. Lot's of info/tips/strategies to help lay a solid foundation and plan.

Here's the link https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

P.S. I'm sure you and many of us know this stuff, but i know for me, reminders such as the stuff in our toolbox, i love.