An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

6:15pm and hanging in by a thread - it is hard, I have had about 50 million reasons pass by to get a drink - have not done any of my errands as I am worried about going to the store..why do Fridays do this, I work weekends once to twice a month so weekends are not the be all of everything!! So silly and I am so tired of it...I know better, why can't I convince myself then
RC - I am going to do it, so that means you have to as well!!!
FF - don't go too far away, that has not worked for me in the past....I now choose what to read and where to post, I am very selective. Every so often I get pulled to other threads and get myself pretty quickly out - sometimes I feel bad, but until I kill this beast I have to be selfish and do what works for me...
Daisy - well done on your 30 days, it feels great doesn't it? But hang on to it tightly!
Audrey - I am amazed english is your fourth language - I would never have guessed!
Hi G, Pixie and anyone else signing in - have a great green weekend......please.....it's just plain good for you - both body and mind....

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

scottish lass;1388174 wrote: 6:15pm and hanging in by a thread - it is hard, I have had about 50 million reasons pass by to get a drink - have not done any of my errands as I am worried about going to the store..why do Fridays do this, I work weekends once to twice a month so weekends are not the be all of everything!! So silly and I am so tired of it...I know better, why can't I convince myself then
RC - I am going to do it, so that means you have to as well!!!
FF - don't go too far away, that has not worked for me in the past....I now choose what to read and where to post, I am very selective. Every so often I get pulled to other threads and get myself pretty quickly out - sometimes I feel bad, but until I kill this beast I have to be selfish and do what works for me...
Daisy - well done on your 30 days, it feels great doesn't it? But hang on to it tightly!
Audrey - I am amazed english is your fourth language - I would never have guessed!
Hi G, Pixie and anyone else signing in - have a great green weekend......please.....it's just plain good for you - both body and mind....

Hi Lass

I hear ya. Why not do your errands tomorrow working or not? Order some home delivered dinner? Eat yer greens Lass and maybe have an early night.

Times like these are when i have to just STOP. Actively go to a quiet part of the house or park, FORCE myself to take 10 slow deep breaths at my own pace, look at H.A.L.T. (Hungry, angry, lonely, tired) and take action. Does any of this help?

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

scottish lass;1388174 wrote:
Daisy - well done on your 30 days, it feels great doesn't it? But hang on to it tightly!

Daisy, 30 days AF? Congratulations mate! This is a huge accomplishment, so well done. Keep it going. G. :goodjob:

[pixie]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Audrey, you write very well for this being your fourth language, so do not worry about that.

RC, I don't know how my thoughts are represented if not with words, that's an interesting question, and I don't have an answer. (Guess I just can't put it into words? :what?: )
Hope you are recovering well from your marathon.

Have a good night/morning/afternoon everyone.

[RunningCourage]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Evening folks. Wont repeat myself as have posted on other threads about getting through this evening. Pleased to say I did. More than happy to dance to Balkanarama - the band playing - with not a drop of AL in me. In fact it's almost impossible NOT to dance to it, sober or tiddly.

Thanks for the support. Now to Sunday - yup, another band night at work, but feeling, i think, stronger.

Hope you've all been misbehaving. I'm oaf to bed with day 20 firmly under my belt
RC

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Well done RC - quietly apprehensive joined by quietly determined wins!! Quiet achievers do it again, and even more you - you enjoyed yourself! Have a great sleep....

RunningCourage;1387505 wrote: SL - will be thinking of you tomorrow. You can get through Friday. Tell you what - if you get through Friday i promise to do my top-most, utmost, damnedest-most to get through Saturday.... which i am quietly apprehensive of.

[daisy45]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hi all; just back from my first AF night out this quit; had great craic! It was a country and western themed birthday party; A Garth Brooks tribute night. Lots of great costumes and loads of first-class dancers. I didn't dress up or dance much but had a lot of fun singing along and people watching.
I didn't think of having a drink and noticed that I was chatty and joining in and laughing more than I would have done, drinking or not, in the past. When I was laughing and having fun with people, it felt more real and hearty, if that makes sense.
I felt very confident with not drinking; I am so shy. When I was younger I would drink to give myself confidence to chat to people.
I have had quite a few AF nights over the past 2 years and I am learning that as others are drinking, they think you are too, so I just chat confidently as I would do if I were drinking. They don't give a shit what I'm doing, but I on the other hand, used to; it is so empowering for me to realise that the more I do this, I am actually becoming more confident with the sober me and the need for using alcohol to hide behind seems to be moving further away.
Home now, feeling happy, relieved and grateful to be sober....

[patrice]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Hey Daisy that sounds great.. seems like you are in a place you want to be!!
Hi everyone, hope you are all having just a nice ole day
x
Patrice

[RunningCourage]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

daisy45;1388662 wrote: When I was laughing and having fun with people, it felt more real and hearty, if that makes sense. Yep, that makes sense. I am only just beginning to realise (or remember) that there is a chill-out mode, or a 'kick-back and have fun' mode that is within us all without the need for AL or drugs.

I felt very confident with not drinking; I am so shy. When I was younger I would drink to give myself confidence to chat to people.

What's a little strange, if strange is the right word, is that i feel somewhat MORE confident now without the drink. When i drank, sometimes there was a voice that would arise. A negative, self-loathing voice that would speak up when i wasn't, say, engaged in conversation or doing something. Last night, this voice was way more muted.

I have had quite a few AF nights over the past 2 years and I am learning that as others are drinking, they think you are too, so I just chat confidently as I would do if I were drinking. They don't give a shit what I'm doing, but I on the other hand, used to; it is so empowering for me to realise that the more I do this, I am actually becoming more confident with the sober me and the need for using alcohol to hide behind seems to be moving further away.

I'm gonna keep a hold of this as a reminder to me, that, even though i had a great last night, that it wasn't, or needn't be, a one off. Thank you Daisy

RC

[Guitarista]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

daisy45;1388662 wrote:
I have had quite a few AF nights over the past 2 years and I am learning that as others are drinking, they think you are too, so I just chat confidently as I would do if I were drinking. They don't give a shit what I'm doing, but I on the other hand, used to; it is so empowering for me to realise that the more I do this, I am actually becoming more confident with the sober me and the need for using alcohol to hide behind seems to be moving further away.
Home now, feeling happy, relieved and grateful to be sober....

Just brilliant Daisy. Well done friend!

Hi y'all, hope all's well out there. Just back from a fab jam session with a band i'm putting together. Sort of bluesy/roots rock sort of stuff. I liked it, the other guys liked it, so looks like it's got legs. Yay! Nice way to spend an arvo.

Best wishes to everyone. G-bloke.

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Dear Daisy, well done - great messages in your post for us all. I also found the need for AL for confidence - same as I liked wearing a uniform as a nurse, I did not have enough self confidence to speak unless hiding behind something - uniform or alcohol.
So, yesterday was a horrible day.
I had adopted a rescue dog in May - he was wonderful, such good company when the girls were with their dad for the week, got me out walking and was so helpful in my journey to become AF. Sadly he had really bad separation anxiety, which was made worse by having a lot of attention when girls were with me for their week (lots of fuss and attention) then only me when the girls were with their dad - and on those weeks I tend to work longer. Tried lots of things, but he was getting worse, and obviously terribly unhappy when he had to be alone, I made the decision to give him up and he is in a foster home until a home with a more stable pattern can be found for him. I cried buckets and was so lonely after dropping him off - last night was horrible, and I felt so terribly guilty. I have to tell the girls what I have done and they will be so sad.

So yes, G - the HALT acronym has often run true for me, and I have managed to identify it and change my course - I did not drink last night, but I so desperately wanted to climb in a bottle. I feel like such a horrible person, I was so happy we had rescued him from the pound and then we let him down, I hope he was not too sad last night.

Today will be tough too, hope i can stay the course?..sorry for the long downer post, had to share somewhere and here is my safe place?so lonely though?.:upset::upset::upset:
Hope your Sundays are going well?

[FreeFly]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Aw SL, that's sad :upset: I can imagine how upset you're feeling and missing your furry friend. You're certainly not a horrible person. You're doing what's right for the dog and that takes a lovely person You gave him lots of love for a chapter in his life and now he'll go on to find some more love from another family. It's his journey.

Thanks to you & G for the words the other day btw and - yes sticking here where I know I only read kind words. Wise words as usual G about getting into things we love and ignoring the stuff not needed.

Daisy - nice post. I began using alcohol to conquer shyness and totally agree with you about how much more confident I feel without it. Well done on your 30 days.

Great job RC on getting through and enjoying your Saturday evening. Hope same happens for this evening.

Audrey, Patrice & Pixie - hope you're having a great weekend.

[scottish lass]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Thank you FF - i needed that, but today is so much worse, I am feeling so guilty and want to go get him, but I know it is for me and not for him. We had such a good time together and selfishly I want that back, but he was so miserable when I had to work.....lonely....

[daisy45]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Thank you all - you are too kind. Last night gave me a good taster and now I want to go out more. I need to get out and meet people. And I have not felt that way for a long time. The drunken me is someone I don't like so I tended not to inflict it on the public this past few years.....time for change!
Guitarista, enjoyed listening to your music....glad your gig went well.
Scotlass, I hope you are giving yourself a break. You are just too nice, so be kind to yourself....

[RunningCourage]

An older drunk back on day one. Who's with me?

Morning folks :hallo:

SL, Daisy's so right - do be kind to yourself, you did the right thing by the dog, despite all the positives he had brought you and the girls. That takes real courage. So dinnae go beating yersel' up, hear? Good. And here's a :l for ya.

Hey FF and Daisy and Mr G, have a happy Monday folks, just waking up here to my cuppa joe.

RC