Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

[Prairie Fairy]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

No babbling here...

windy;1211918 wrote: PF -- I JUST read your post about giving back and how Lolab talked you off the ledge. I just have to say you moved me so much by that whole post. Sometimes (quite often) I feel like I am just babbling, but now I know and feel it's okay.. Someone might get it, while most may not...that's okay too.

You are doing great and this thread is very important.

G

Windy - there's no babbling here. We prop each other up. Really - who knows what's important to someone else who may be struggling out there - and one small sentence in the middle of what feels like on big giant "brain puke" to us when we are done - really made a difference.

No one is in this community because we are getting everything we need someplace else. We are here because we need each other. We come here because as strange as it sounds - we rely on each other to get each other through the rough patches - when there is a siren calling us - or when are family doesn't understand (good or bad) or are labs come back and show us we have well and truly messed up the body we were given - and so on and so forth.

We come here because there aren't enough people at home - that we can rely on or trust - to understand, to call on, to reach out to, to feel safe with - with this big thing we struggle with.

So nothing you have to say is babble. Ever. It matters. XOXO

[sobafun]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Good day.
I am on day 1.....looking for support...hope.
Feel like I have tried almost everything......maintain sobriety for a while and then whammo....try and drink again.
I really must stop for good. My family is too important to have to watch this self destructive behaviour.
So 1/30...here we go.

[patrice]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Hiya all

This is all such a learning curve isn't it. I'm gratefully learning from you all.. Back to Day 1 - another weekend stuff up but I'm back on board - had 4 AF days last week and was feeling good.. its that Friday night thing that keeps tripping me up. So next Friday I have arranged to have a chinese traditional massage at 8 pm so I cant drink. I also have a medical check on the 30th of this month so I want to remain AF for that ( and beyond but I will cross the next bridge when it happens

So guys and girls back to detox tea, heaps of supps and hoping I will fell better later.

Well done to everyone here - this is a great thread
Take Care
Patrice

[patrice]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

And BTW after 3 days of a bottle of wine a day... I really felt shite today and I noticed it hugely so if anyone is tempted... try and think about that... it so isnt worth it

Keep Strong
Patrice

[available]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

patrice maybe they should ban weekends for awhile though working 7 days does not really appeal. i drank for 7 days and now on day 1 again. felt so much like shit each day but kept going as god i deserved it after work. back to the bad habits and not hard to fall back into i must say. not reeal sure why i want to go back to the cravings, hangover and tremors. mmm maybe i am a sadist.

[Prairie Fairy]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

I don't miss the tremors a BIT! With the massive B supplementation, Taurine and Magnesium PLUS no AL they disappeared really quick. I was SO excited about that.

[Prairie Fairy]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Ok y'all - going to need the heads up our arses club to ensure I don't stick my head back up mine.

I posted the myriad of reasons why - but -in summary legal crap with the Ex, still don't know if I have a job but may find out today (if not - torture continues) and issue with SO may ruin Thanksgiving. It's totally stupid and I am hoping cooler heads prevail but I've had little sleep, a lot of crying, blah blah blah

That being said - I am fragile today. I will need you to grab that head and help remind me why I don't want to F'up this quit.

Love you all.

[available]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Hey PF chin up girl. Thanks for all your vitamin tips, cheap chemist opened up so will be going there (just near bottlo) mmmm.
Now the reason u dont want to drink is u dont want to avoid coming on here for a cple of days and being ashamed that u caved in. You dont want to feel like shit with a hangover. You dont want to start at day 1 again. You dont want to lose your sleeping pattern. You dont want to look yourself in the mirror and think why and what the F did i do. You dont want to waste all that money on vitamins. You dont want ALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL.
love you too PF and chin up girl you can do this
xx

[BelleGirl]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Hey PF...just want to say I'm thinking of you and all the crap you are going thru. Like they say, when it rains, it pours. Just keep the head clear of the arse and you will be OK. It is better to deal with all the "stuff" of life with a clear head, and one that is not up the arse. Job limbo really sucks. I've been out of work for a while (I took a deal I couldn't refuse to be home with the kids) but I have been thru so many of these things with my husband's job. It never gets easier. Let's just hope for you that whatever happens, it works out for the best. I am sure I speak for others here when I say if you keep your head clean, you will be proud of yourself no matter what happens in any of those sh*tty situations.:l

[Pinecone]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Hi PrarieFairy, you have alot on your plate right now, so take really good care of yourself. Be sure to pamper yourself with the basics of enough sleep, enough water and eating well. They are so easy to forget when you have alot of stress going on.

[Prairie Fairy]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Thanks to all for the good wishes - I meet with the toughest most pissed off critic tomorrow afternoon. And the one most likely to do the "popping" Monday. So days more. Yay.

The other stuff went to hell in a handbasket today.

I am tired. I am emotional. I have cried. I am on my iPhone, under a binky with the cat listening to meditation mp3's trying to chill.

Today was the worst day for triggers. But even the wine section at my fave gourmet store did not suck me into the vortex.

Dear Alien- You F-wad. You didn't win today. You tried. I told you to kiss my big white a$$.

I might be tired. I might be emotionally exhausted. I might be frightened of what may happen. I may have cried. But today - the hollow shell of me I brought to the game was more than enough to tell you to get stuffed.

Day 27 - I am weak. I am not myself. But today - I was still stronger than AL.

[Prairie Fairy]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Looks like it's over.

Final answer Monday - may just end up being me - looks like we have a sacrificial lamb.

But better that than a whole bunch of people. Some worries that dominoes may continue to fall.

What did I do? I called a friend. I got out my binky. I let the cat snuggle. I am examining my options in quiet and solitude. I took my supplements and drank herbal tea.

What didn't I do? Stop at the store for Malbec. It won't make tomorrow better. I'll just feel like shit for one more reason.

I made a promise to myself - I will make 30 days. I am worth keeping a promise to - even if it is ME doing it. Hear that Alien? I am WORTH keeping my promises to - even if they are only my own.

So - this situation sucks - for a myriad of reasons that make it SO much worse than just a job loss that it takes my breath away. I CRY. But I will not break. I will not quit. So help me God.

My Name is Prairie Fairy. I get up and do my best every day. It's not perfect - it never will be. I am flawed, I fuck up a LOT. But today I will be stronger than AL.

[BelleGirl]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

Prairie, you are amazing. With a 'tude like yours, you WILL succeed and go far. Damn straight you are worth it, and you sound like you have your sh*t together. Yes the situation does suck, but it would suck worse if AL dragged you in again. Take care, girl!

[nollie]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

PF I've been thinking about you a lot these days, you are a true inspiration. Life sure throws us some shit to deal with, it's how you turn those bad things into something that's positive that counts. I have been reading all sorts of flakey books recently, but they have left me more convinced than ever that there is a reason for everything and there truly IS something better round the corner. Good on you for telling the alien where to stick it. Hugs x

[patrice]

Looking for: People early in their 1st 30 Days AF

PF well done to you
Really really strong
Take Care
X
Patrice