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    Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

    Hi all,

    Been drinking practically every night for six years. Always used to manage within the range of two bottles of wine in the past, though have recently gone 'down' to five 500ml 5% cans of lager and 3 glasses of wine per night (people keep telling me that's a LOT but it doesn't seem that much to me???) I never feel addicted to it....it's just I REALLY LIKE it, and I like the comfort and avoidance of the routine.

    Anyway, I know it's affecting everything, I have a 'routine' rather than cravings, I drink more to blot out the things i need to do, things that I aren't confident about, to block out anxiety, to block out prostatitis pain, to WEE normally(!) In a couple of hours, I'll be medicated, I'll have my daily, 2-hour blast of euphoria (then wake up to a hellsih day of pain n' stress tomorrow). Trouble is, it's starting to catch up with me, my once youthful looks are rapidly going ruddy and grey and my health is finally starting to suffer.

    The prostatitis issue is complex because I aren't tolerating the meds. I started a batch of Cipro and it sent me psychotic, CRAZY akathisia, ever-increasing tremors, I was paralysed by madness, depression and insane anxiety, it's knocked me for six. The only thing that was saving me WAS the beer. Couldn't finish the 28-day course of tablets, did about 7 days and it was too much, still took a good fortnight for the mental effects to simmer down (a tad).

    In amongst all this, I've managed to get myself into a 4-week patch of sick leave and haven't really resolved anything, in fact I've gone a bit insane. Initially went on the sick just with pain, stayed on the sick and have gone nuts and have also been dosed up on SSRIs and beta-blockers(!) My job is low-level and if I lose it through stress, then I'm sodded.

    What I'm wondering is: I've switched to a new doctor and had an initial check-up this morning (BP was fine, urine test was all clear), where she asked me a question about my drinking, so I told her the honest truth that it was between 6/7 cans every night (didn't mention the wine) and she was taken aback.

    So I'm kinda trapped now, I'm definitely gonna have to knock it on the head, at least for a fair amount of time. The doc will now know about my drinking and I'm sure the doc will insist I cut down/quit, otherwise they won't want to treat me. Then, I'll obviously have to go back on the antibiotics. And, if they work well, I can get back into 'work mode', it's just I feel I've floated so far from that person I was in the last 4 weeks, I'm getting worried that I'm not the man I was, I'm pretty nervous about re-entering that world yet it would the very best option available, in the long run.

    The amount of alcohol I'm drinking, is it low enough to cold turkey off? I'm also being quite stupid, as I'm drinking the same amount post-SSRI and beta-blocker as before I first took them. Is it really that much? Five cans of Holsten Pils/Old Speckled Hen and three glasses of strong Hardys red per eve...?


    Sorry if this was a bit long! :new:
    [I]Quit drinking nightly at home (8 yrs) at the end of Feb. One night out 8/4/2014...I am ALLOWING myself to drink when on a night out, just cos I want it that way.[/]

    #2
    Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

    Hi WW, well u have taken the first step coming on here and congrats realising u need help. Well i must say my drinking outshone yours lol. I am up to day 10 AF and feeling nearly normal. I have been a drinker for twenty plus years but the last few months i have been drinking 2 bottles of wine (well i did leave a glass in the bottle to say i did not drink 2 bottles). My job was starting to suffer, my children were suffering, my life was suffering. I woke up on the 1/11/11 and decided to give up smoking but went on the net and found this site. So now i am not drinking but still smoking. It is ultimately up to you to decide to give up drinking, you surely need a supportive dr and she obviously wants to help. Maybe if you get your drinking under control everything else will slowly works itself out. My body is still going through withdrawals but as i was driving to work today i thought "thank F i gave up drinking"

    good luck and we are all here to support you. This is a wonderful site, full of support and great advice. If it wasnt for here i dont think i would have made day 2.

    i suffer from anxiety and depression and am on xanax for anxiety and since i have not drank i have not taken a xanax in a week. and here i was thinking it was anxiety when for the major part it was AL. I am sleeping and i am human and at this stage i am happy with that.

    good luck and keep us informed, there is always someone around to give great advice
    AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

    Comment


      #3
      Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

      ^Thanks, A, I actually gave up smoking on Monday after 19 years @ 20+ per day (though I'm on the nic gum, haven't quit nic itself). It's HARD, gum just can't replace a real-life cig.

      I have similar problems with anxiety/depression but am OK when I'm in a comfortable situation (when I'm alone, alcohol gives me that, thus I always drink alone these days).

      Did you quit C/T? If so, has it been hell on earth or more a case of depression, sleeplessness and mild shakiness?

      The antibiotics I was on had 'seizures' as a side-effect, and I'm sure I was heading down that path in the effects they were having (another reason why I quit them), it's just that seizures are also associated with quitting booze, too, does it worry you?
      [I]Quit drinking nightly at home (8 yrs) at the end of Feb. One night out 8/4/2014...I am ALLOWING myself to drink when on a night out, just cos I want it that way.[/]

      Comment


        #4
        Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

        WW, you will find the anxiety lessens when there is no AL in your body. i have started walking and when i come home from work is normally the worst and i get my A into gear and go for a walk with the dogs, so not only am i not drinking i am getting exercise that i procrastinated about while i was busy getting drunk. tomorrow never came really. I used to drink alone. Go to work, leave work, go to bottle shop, go home, feed the dogs and drink. no time for food in that equation at all. Wake up feeling like shit, tremors, anxiety, drive to work (god knows how), function at work. never ended. I got to the stage where i drank every single day. Said i was going to have a day off but by the afternoon god i deserved that drink.

        Yes i quit C/T, no idea how but i think my head and mind and body was ready to give it up or at least try. I'm not saying it has been easy, the headaches everyday are annoying but i suppose they are here to remind me of the hangover that i used to have, the tremors are lessening and god i sleep like the dead now but wake up tired. i need to give my body time to get over the abuse i have put it through and i accept that.

        I work in the neurology department of a major hospital in Melbourne. Ive seen it all and god yes i was terrified but thus far i have not had a seizure, have seen plenty of alcoholics that have, and my anxiety over this was enormous but after ten days and nothing i am at peace with that one.

        Everyone is different and i can only tell u my experiences. I need to get on some supplements to try and lessen the headaches and achy feeling i have, which i will do this weekend. The seniors on this site are a wealth of information and the toolbox thread is a great help as well.

        I had a brother die an alcoholic at 46, i am 47 and i dont want to end up dead just yet. plenty more living to do here.

        hope this helps and hope that u give it a try, if u fail u get back up and give it another go.
        AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

        Comment


          #5
          Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

          ^Cheers mate, what is it with us hospital workers and addiction issues? I've never worked in a place manned by such a high percentage of addicts(!) :H

          I've had a couple of days off here and there from drinking, and what tends to happen is that I can't sleep, at all, even with Nytol/Diphenhydramine, only thing that works is Zopiclone and it's murder on a morning, like a bomb to the brain.

          I'm a weird guy, I seem drawn to killing myself by embracing oblivion, yet there's a little sad part of me that kind of wants to stay around, I feel like I'm slowly but surely sealing my fate, my liver has not only had to contend with booze but oodles of different tablets, especially this year. Don't know why, but I feel like I'm 'burning' my body away right now, heavy acid reflux, burning urine, dry skin, not dressing properly, wearing the same clothes for weeks, I catch sight of myself in mirrors and I'm wrecked-looking, and that little sad part in me starts to cry. Kind of feel it's inevitable I'll one day end up as one of 'the yellow people' on a gastro ward, yet it's clear I'm the one who's causing it. The little sad part of me is writing all this, so there is hope.

          I think I'm gonna see the doc on Friday, see what she has to say, then maybe give sobriety a blast. Jeez, seizures are my biggest fear about quitting, but since suffering over two weeks of hellish akathisia, I reckon a seizure'd be a picnic by comparison (plus, I'm armed with some benzos and Propranolol should things get too sticky).

          As for the supplements, when I get a chance, I get hold of the super-sized 'Holland & Barratt' Super Vitamin B complex, they really take the edge off a hangover, plus are quite energising. Bloody HUGE, though, quite fearsome to swallow.
          [I]Quit drinking nightly at home (8 yrs) at the end of Feb. One night out 8/4/2014...I am ALLOWING myself to drink when on a night out, just cos I want it that way.[/]

          Comment


            #6
            Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

            WW, just want to hug you -- life can be so much better than what you're going through. Come on, give it a try. Lots of support here!

            :l

            Comment


              #7
              Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

              ^Thanks, Unwasted, yeah, being out of the loop and alone sucks majorly. You're right, I've never quite got my head around the 'life' thing, I seem to go through life feeling like I'm different, like I don't *do* that. Maybe 'cos it's never really happened, I'm kind of scared of it happening?

              Nice forum, this. I'm not scared of posting like I am on those AA ones.
              [I]Quit drinking nightly at home (8 yrs) at the end of Feb. One night out 8/4/2014...I am ALLOWING myself to drink when on a night out, just cos I want it that way.[/]

              Comment


                #8
                Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                WW sounds like u need some help with drink and pills so that it all comes together for you which by the sounds of it is what you want. I find that with my anxiety that if a dr prescribes something for me and they say it is addictive, well that is me i wont take it often. everyone is different but u in yourself need to make the effort. try and do something for yourself everyday even if it is having a shower,putting a load of washing on and hanging it out. you can get your life back slowly day by day. i was nearly rock bottom and not thinking i cld get rid of this horrible addiction. I havent gotten rid of it, i am trying to get control of it which i never thought i wld do.

                I am proud of what i have achieved WW day by day. We are all going through it and u need to be on here constantly. i am on this site at work and always have it open at home. good luck and hugs from afar
                AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

                Comment


                  #9
                  Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                  Hello WW,

                  I just want to give you a big fat hug too :l

                  Hang around this site - loads of people can help you here. Life can be so different for you - dig deep - there's the authentic you inside who wants to live. And remember, we can't know happiness without the contrast of sadness. So by my reckoning there's a very big happiness waiting for you. :l

                  CB
                  You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

                  :lilangel:

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                    ^Cheers, everyone.

                    Actually had a good day on Friday, changed my doc and got one who seems to be decent. I was obviously in a hyper-anxious state, worried sick. Got a sicknote, upped my Escitalopram to 10mg (haven't been on on an SSRI since 2003, it's weird!), managed to allay some of my fears.

                    For the time being, I'm hopeful I might be able to keep my job. Now to adjust to the brain fog of the SSRIs and hopefully cut the booze down...feel like all my reality perception is swathed in Vaseline.

                    @available, managed to get some stuff done around the house (I'm a massive hoarder, it's gotten out of control). Got rid of ten bags of crap/clutter from the house, barely made an impact but it's a start. Also rang an old mate I've been avoiding. Good stuff to help one's sanity, spending all one's time in bed proper sucks.
                    [I]Quit drinking nightly at home (8 yrs) at the end of Feb. One night out 8/4/2014...I am ALLOWING myself to drink when on a night out, just cos I want it that way.[/]

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                      WastrelWallow;1205980 wrote:
                      ......though have recently gone 'down' to five 500ml 5% cans of lager and 3 glasses of wine per night (people keep telling me that's a LOT but it doesn't seem that much to me???)

                      ....so I told her the honest truth that it was between 6/7 cans every night (didn't mention the wine) and she was taken aback.

                      ....Five cans of Holsten Pils/Old Speckled Hen and three glasses of strong Hardys red per eve...?

                      Sorry if this was a bit long! :new:
                      Snipped a bit in your post to emphasize, but having been there myself of course it's likely more 6/7 cans all the time then 5 cans. That and the wine is indeed quite a lot (not as much as I used to drink, replace the wine with 4/5 double whisky and you'll be getting close)

                      Anyway, the reason for the quotes:

                      For me, I decided to cut out the liquor completely for the first week, then cut down the alcohol gradually over the next week. I then quit on my set date as planned (for some reason I couldn't wait to have that last beer, guess I was more then ready mentally). I just felt more comfortable this and figured I'd be able to work through it as I couldn't afford to take a week off.

                      I also didnt want to risk suffering too much from AWS and have a potential healthscare, call me paranoid but it just felt 'safer'.

                      It works in different ways for different people, some can only quit C/T, some taper.
                      Up to you to decide what you think wil work best for you and what you feel most comfortable.

                      For me, taper worked and tomorrow it's 14 days. I haven't missed it at all. Quitting smoking was harder...

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                        Hi WW

                        Sounds like you are in the same mess as me ! I started on the beers and then gradually moved onto wine as well. Eventually gave up the beer and just used wine instead. I got drunk quicker ! I have now managed 9 days and I did it by just stopping with no medication other than Vitamin B strong compound and One Thiamine Hydrochloride tablet daily. It got easier each day although sleeping is not right just yet. Good luck and if you need more help, stick around here. Lots of people just like you and I who can really help !

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                          ^Hi timpin,

                          I keep on going through cycles. I go through a five beer/three wine phase, then when the beer starts putting weight on me, I switch to a one beer/six wine phase, THEN, I tell myself that's too unhealthy, so, when i switch onto night shifts, I get some diet mixers and some vodkas and have a beer and two *massive* vodka/diet tonics when i get back. And then I switch back to the 5 beers/three wines combo as the beer feels like it's 'safer'!

                          Well done on the 9 days, you're right about the lack sleep, I find it a proper killer when trying to come off the booze, in fact I often use booze now TO sleep.

                          Only time I managed a full week was when I had a serious infection in my mouth, and the antibiotics I was taking would've caused me to die should I have drank with them (this was in the early days, mind, when the booze habit was relatively young...)

                          awsome;1207797 wrote: It works in different ways for different people, some can only quit C/T, some taper.
                          Up to you to decide what you think wil work best for you and what you feel most comfortable.

                          For me, taper worked and tomorrow it's 14 days. I haven't missed it at all. Quitting smoking was harder...
                          Thanks for the excellent advice, I think I've tried both methods in the past, but never long enough to actually see it through, seems it depends on one's state of mind at that one particular moment. I'm erring towards cold turkey as I've attempted to taper many times before and have always got back on the booze.

                          As for smoking, oddly enough I've found it really easy to quit this time around, I was smoking around 20-25 cigarettes a day until last Monday, ravenously, I've since got by on about five pieces of 2mg nic gum per day so far, I've done a week and still have three full strips left, don't seem to be getting any major withdrawals despite the massive drop in nicotine intake. Odd.
                          [I]Quit drinking nightly at home (8 yrs) at the end of Feb. One night out 8/4/2014...I am ALLOWING myself to drink when on a night out, just cos I want it that way.[/]

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                            hi all

                            How is it going WW? On any track or just meandering? I had a fail n the weekend. god to day 11 and had 4 glasses of wine on friday and 2 on saturday but hey better than 2 bottles a night. Back on track now and up to day 2. God i so cant give the fags up, wish i cld but they are harder than AL i reckon. Hope all is going well with you and u have found lots of positives.
                            AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Newbie needs to quit, can't seem to, job's in trouble....

                              AV - The fags are what spin me out into the bottle. My 3 "social" glasses got the nicotine demon going. As I don't smoke when I don't drink - OBVIOUSLY I had to go buy me a bottle to go with the fags I had to buy, having started the social drinking. Bonkers bonkers stupid stupid.

                              Gonna be right behind you on your day 3 - will be day 1 for me - again!
                              You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

                              :lilangel:

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