Too embarrassed to visit the nest!

[Audrey14]

Too embarrassed to visit the nest!

Hi all!!

Available - you' re 100% right that when we drink (like we do.....:upset we are not seeking for good company and especially new contacts..My task could be to meet new people, to make contacts, try to adapt to new enviroment..
What i do (most of the time, i can' t say that all of the time) when my partner is working???
Living in my own world with a bottle of wine - at home or with a bottle in my big nice purse walking in a city or along the beach...I have special 2 routs and i don' t explore more which i always did in my past when i lived or stayed in a new place. I live in Adelaide and it' s nice city and i' m sorry for myself..
My partner is a aussie country boy and he hates city:H So, he likes to drive home, have barbecue and drink bear in a courtyard..
I'm very city european girl who likes art, movies, concerts or just walking in a city (we live in a surbub and i don' t drive here).
Sometimes i manage to go by myself or somehow i convince him for some movie in cinema which for me is a great victory..
I can' t blame him, it' s just a life and i have to undertsand how to manage..

Hi Guitarista!!!

I see you' re very optimistic or rather realistic person
I' m trying to quit AL, maybe not so hard as i could..
Yestarday i had "exam" - my partner had a collegue from another city, so he wanted to invite him for barbecue and bear....I convinced him to go out to the small beach city..
I new if we' ll stay in cortyard we' ll drink a lot..i head crazy fear...
So, last night (on my day 3) i drunk 3 glasse of white wine which is bad but at least i'm not broken today
Today here will be 37' and no air-cond, at home:H
Will try to go to city to the movie or some cool place.

Take care all!!!:l

[available]

Too embarrassed to visit the nest!

good on you Audrey but i must say since i had wine last weekend the cravings are much worse and like G i have to reassess and get it together.

I dont need company to drink, i dont think any of us here need that as we have AL. Like you i need to get out and motivate myself to do something else other than focus on drink. It is hot here in Melbourne today as well but i work in a hospital so nice and cool thus far. I dont have air con either so going to be warm when i get home after work.

I must say Audrey it is your life and your bf should support you more. I would hate to be a newbie in any country, it is pretty lonely for you i am sure. You need a dog to go walking with lol, just a small cute cuddly one. i have two and u are more than welcome to my shitzu who is hyperactive but love her dearly.

hope you find a good movie to see.

[playland]

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Hi Audrey,
I'm new here and just trying to reach out and take part. I really feel for you being in a new country, I know what that is like, it takes at least one year to start to feel like you are putting down some roots and making a life there. I would say try to find a class that you are interested in, cooking, art, yoga, something that helps connect you.

Best of Luck,
PL

[lil.michelle]

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Right you...
If you fall off the horse, you get back on! You never fail unless you stop trying. Someone once said to me.. My god, you have more ups and downs then superman as I failing then doing great and failing again. This is an illness. We wouldn't be here if it was so easy to quit!
So brush yourself off, his your head up high and try again. Do not stop posting or worry about posting if you mess up. We are all here for the same reason. We are here to pick each other up when we fall and support each other through the great, the good, the bad AND the damn right ugly!
Xxxx

[nollie]

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Hey you guys, only just seen this post. At the moment it's been going ok for me (although I feel like I'll spend the rest of my terrified I'll slip) but I originally came to this forum nearly 2 years ago and left for exactly the reasons you're describing. I felt so useless that I'd started drinking again. All I would say is NEVER give up, it's a journey, very few of us sail through unscathed, we all make mistakes (or monumental cock-ups). The important thing is that you're here with peole who truly understand and you're making a start.

Available, sadly not everyone feels supported by the people close to them. I wouldn't ever want to confide in my husband; in fact our lousy relationship is one of the biggest triggers to my drinking. I wouldn't want to worry other family members (I have been extremely good at hiding my addiction to alcohol), so I do feel alone in fighting this.

Audrey I too am an expat and I'm sure that contributed in many ways to my drinking. Do some real soul-searching and find something that inspires you, maybe something you enjoyed as a child and have let go. It doesn't have to cost a lot but treat yourself, make time to do something you love. Don't get bogged down in endless concessions to your other half. I had been so busy someone else and worrying about everyone else all these years, mum, business-woman, manager of (dreadful) family finances, wife, supportive neighbour etc, that I forgot about me.

[lilla]

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well i have tried to stop drinking again all week but have really been battling. It s like I used to drink and not think about it or feel guilty and now all of a sudden I am trying to not drink, but feel I have to and want to more than ever. It has been the biggest mental battle for me all week and there are times I have given in. I have been lurking in the background and logging in to read all posts a few times every day, but these last two from Michelle and Nollie have really resonated with me. I am pacing around my house, wanting to crack a bottle but trying to resist, lamenting the lonliness I feel at having migrated (all those years ago), children now out all weekend and don't need me and a marriage which is broken and probably can't be fixed. This sounds so self pitifull that it is pathetic, but I have never really faced up to things like I have these last two weeks while actually acknowledging my problem with AL. I dont think this really makes sense but my mind is all confused - I WANT to attack life without sheltering behind drink, the determination is there and that is why I keep logging on this site , but the reality is I just can't seem to get started for any period of time without blowing it at some stage.

[nollie]

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You can, Lilla, you have so much strength inside you that has helped you survive all that sh!t up until now. AL just makes a bad situation worse. Stopping drinking has not given me the answers, but I sure as hell am making more rational decisions about where I'm going in life and as a result the calm is having a knock on effect on the rest of the family. You can do this, I promise that the feeling you'll have after only a couple of weeks far outweighs those momentary cravings x

[patrice]

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Hiya all,
Well i managed 4 AF days last week but had a blow out at the weekend.. Next weekend I will have a better plan to stay AF and stick to it...
Trying not to feel bad because it will make my resolve crumble.. I will not drink tonight
Have a great day all
Patrice

[available]

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Lilla i can so relat to what u r saying u have hit the nail on the head on how i feel. wow your post is me though i am single and wld love someone to spend my time with but i am not healthy enough to bring someone into my life. i did get out of a marriage that was convenient (gave him to my best friend), lucky her. he was a drinker too and is still a drinker but tht is his problem not mine. i moved 4 years ago and have my children and friends at work but come home to an empty house everyday thugh my son does live with me. i need to get out and do something but i have no idea what. i am great at drinking though but not sure about anything else.

nollie i am feeling for you lovely, we spend out life doing everything for everyone. my fam know i drink too much but dont help me just bring more alcohol into the house and tell me i drink too much. they are not much of a support at all so i just go with the flow and drink and put up with the shit they give me abut drinking. my friends dont know how much i drink and i have started telling them and they are all like "oh no u dont drink too much" obviousy i have not told them how much or how often. this is why i love this site, we can be honest and have the support to try and help us

[FreeFly]

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Oh f***. Don't even know why. Even went to a party and didn't drink tonight. Got home, thought I really wanted to. Now I know I didn't really want to. What the f*** is wrong with me! I'm posting this in case anyone out there is thinking it would be "nice" to have a drink. It bloody well isn't, trust me. My most AF days wiped out in one saddo session!

Right, enough of the beat up. I know the drill. I WILL kick this but yes, mega embarrassed - again! Still gonna get me a sober Christmas though - that is my promise to myself.

[twitt]

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FreeFly;1208013 wrote: Messed up again. Did 7 days - felt great, most days so far. And then I went out! All the nesters doing great - just can't face posting there. Don't really know what I'm doing posting anymore. I keep f***ing up. Suffice to say last night turned into today and I'm down the rabbit hole - again! Really not sure why I'm saying this - booze talking.

freefly hey i need some talking too i am so fustrated i could spit

[FreeFly]

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But Twitt you're doing great. You're riding it out - wish I had, really really wish I had. I've read your recent posts and know you're struggling, but take it from the weak one who gave in, DON'T do it. Reckon you're gonna feel a whole heap better than me in the morning. My companions will be GR&S but yours will be happiness for another day under your belt. Hang in there :l

[Unwasted]

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Free Fly, just dust off and pick yourself up. Please don't be embarassed to go back to the nest. It's for support, and that's what we all need. It's ok! Twitt, same for you. None of us are perfect guys.........just keep trying. We're overcoming years of programming.

FF, just curious what went through your head before you drank. Did you happen to try the Tolle breathing technique? Anything?

:l:l

[FreeFly]

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Unwasted;1230632 wrote: Free Fly, just dust off and pick yourself up. Please don't be embarassed to go back to the nest. It's for support, and that's what we all need. It's ok! Twitt, same for you. None of us are perfect guys.........just keep trying. We're overcoming years of programming.

FF, just curious what went through your head before you drank. Did you happen to try the Tolle breathing technique? Anything?

:l:l

Hi UW. You know, before I went to the party I prepped myself by reading posts here to make me stronger, and for the party it worked. Lolab's were especially pertinent for me tonight. Then I got home and my brain went into overdrive. That's when I can't even think about techniques (least I think I can't). Had a bit of a shock earlier in the day. Last xmas when permanently pissed and grieving I managed to pick up a "stalker". No way would that have happened if AL wasn't in my life. Anyway, received card and long babbling, messed up, weird, f***ed up letter starting the whole thing up again and just got me really down. Wish I hadn't drunk though - no way to handle it - just hurt myself.

[Unwasted]

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FF, it's hard because we've used alcohol for everything - to alleviate stress, to celebrate, to have by our side when we cook, to accompany a meal, when we're scared, when we're happy - it's a complete 180, so we have to be a little patient with ourselves -- you know, not to the point where we're self-deceived, but it is a huge adjustment. Just keep trying, and go back to the nest when you feel ready. It's really ok - everyone has screwed up.