2 mths sober , need advice!!!!!!!! Please help!!

[Saoirse & the wild horse]

:new:
This is my 1st time writing here, I have been reading many posts and finding inspiration from them since I happened upon this when I 1st got sober.
I have been a binge drinker when I was in college ( isn't everyone ) and then I learned to social drink in moderation for many years. This April however when I turned 30 I had a life review and realized I was really in a rut and I hated my job , my sister hurt me to my core and I went unto a downward , self loathing spiral, needless to say I got depressed. Though I was drinking only one night a week ( if that , sometimes 1 night every 2weeks ) I was getting drunk and blacking out every time I drank. My depression got worse and I started to hate myself the next day after drinking and I would have anxiety up the yin yang!!!! I was always embarressing my poor husband, flirting with everyone !! Even woman and im frickin straight!!! I know now i was looking for validation that i mattered as i was so depressed i had no self love. I drunkenly fell on my face while running in 6 inch heels and broke my front tooth!!!!!! Well I swore I'd never drink again . Fast forward 3 weeks later I got my tooth fixed and drank again. This time I fell in my bathtub and split my head open. This was enough!!!!! I was so sad and sorry I quit sept 11th 2011 and now I'm 9 weeks sober
My problem is that I wonder if I was binge drinking because I was in a really bad place and stressed , because that time was weird it was out of character for me! In the beginning I craved alcohol when I would go on nights out with friends , not anymore now I have more fun being sober. Am I an alcoholic or was I just stressed and got out of control???? I seem to have substituted alcohol with food as I can't stop eating , so I ordered against my better judgement phenterrmine from my prick doc who so easily gives them. I took them for 4 days and on the 5th I wanted to take more than I was duplicate to so I threw them down the trash chute, no more escapism for me!! I will go through this without phentermine, does anyone know how I can stoo eating all the time , or is this normal after u quit drinking????? Anyone have any similar issue???

[Prairie Fairy]

2 mths sober , need advice!!!!!!!! Please help!!

Sorry - no good answer on that one - AL kills appetite. Most of ate very little while drinking. On the other hand - if you keep it up you develop a HARD little pot belly. Way attractive, no?

But welcome!

[nollie]

2 mths sober , need advice!!!!!!!! Please help!!

I think the two things are very linked. I craved sugary things from my teens onwards, then suffered from bulemia many, many years ago and just seem to have replaced one problem/addiction for another, ie alcohol. I'm finally coming to the conclusion that I've been trying to replace something I felt was missing in my life. I know it's not for everyone, but I'm convinced that the spiritual route is the way out for me. I was a bit sceptical to start with, but this is the longest I've ever been without a drink in over 20 years. I'm not suggesting everyone looking for a way out has to go all religious to do so, but I do think the AA philosophy works well for many of us, whatever their beliefs. If you've never done so, I'd recommend going to a meeting, even if it's only one, so you can get support & pick the brains of others who've been in the same place as you.

If you're posting on here then in your own mind you probably already know the answer to your question. Personally I can see no benefit in replacing AL with drugs, even if they have been prescribed.

[Unwasted]

2 mths sober , need advice!!!!!!!! Please help!!

Saoirse, you've already gotten good advice here but I wanted to add a couple of things. I have read that blackouts are a sure sign of major problems, so you'd be really smart to stop now. If sounds like you can and if you don't it will probably get harder down the road to stop.

I am in agreement that there is a spiritual component to alcoholism (for me) and I'm going the Buddhism route (for multiple reasons). I'm also considering AA because I've learned a way to think of a higher power that doesn't revolve around a conventional Christian/Judeo God. I think all religions are striving for the same thing, though. So I think it's just a matter of finding what you can believe in and trying it.

Sending you peace and strength.

[Saoirse & the wild horse]

2 mths sober , need advice!!!!!!!! Please help!!

Thank you all for the replies and support. I do 100% know that drinking to blackout is a problem in Itself and that is why I quit. I also know that I was drinking to escape myself , and for the very same reasons i was wanting to take the phentermine to lose weight because I liked the feeling alcohol and phentermine give me, BUT Off course like all addictive substances the low you feel after a blackout of drinking , or the irritability you feel after being hyped up by phentermine is never fun!!!!
The sad part is that I am not really that overweight. I'm 5 6" and weigh 142 pounds .
The good that came from this is that I realized that I like things that give me a quick fix and therefore I need to stay away from them. Get off my lazy arse and exercise, it's just that I didn't think that alcohol was affecting my life so much!!!!!! And now I'm eating more I guess for comfort!!! But I have decided to look my demons in the eyes and defeat them.
I only hope I can stay away from the peer pressure and temptation in thanksgiving and Christmas .
I pray to God for strength!!!!!

[Unwasted]

2 mths sober , need advice!!!!!!!! Please help!!

Saoirse, be sure to post as often as you can. It really helps to be active on the site - both reading and posting.

B

[Saoirse & the wild horse]

2 mths sober , need advice!!!!!!!! Please help!!

Thank you unwasted