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[mauritiusdodo]

I don't really know why I am posting except I need to say this somewhere and this is the only place I can, I don't expect anyone to give me any sympathy since this is about the zillionth time I have 'started again' so please don't feel you have to reply to this post!

I have reverted to drinking around 2 bottles of wine every evening and I have completely had enough, I am so sick of not remembering going to bed and feeling terrible in the morning, it is not as if I even get a buzz out of the drink anymore I just don't seem to get drunk now and I know what implications that has because 2 bottles is an awful lot

I think that the main reason I drink is stress relief, I have a teenage daughter who I don't have much of a relationship with anymore (she lives with us) and that is upsetting me and a son who is two and three months who has always been extremely demanding which I find difficult to handle, he hasnn't been diagnosed with any behavioural problems but he is extremely hard work, I feel like I am just existing, I have very little time for myself and I have been trying to start a new business and getting more and more frustrated!

I had a dream the other night that I had a complete nervous breakdown and ended up in hospital and to be honest I wish I would because I wouldn't have to cope with anything anymore and I would not be able to drink either

:upset::upset::upset:

thanks to anyone who has read this I am going to try and sort myself out although I have no idea how, at the time of typing this my son is swinging on the chair and whinging I am so sick of everything, I love him to bits but I feel like having him has ruined my life :upset:

[Ellaq]

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Hey Dodo

You are here. You know that the frustration and the drink are feeding off each other. Take a deep breath and start again, taking it 1 day at a time.

I know how you feel about your son. My youngest is 21 months and kicking me as a type for attention. What I do is when I feel that I cannot bear to be in the house another moment with him is to go out. Anywhere will do - the shops, a walk around the block or a drive. When I am really desperate I bribe him with a bottle of milk.

The thing about drinking because life is stressful - I know for me I would drink if life was perfect, I drink if I am happy, sad, depressed or just bored.

Right now you are probably feeling really down because of the drink, it is making you think that anything else is impossible and it is not.

[FreeFly]

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Hi Dodo,

Welcome back. I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time. You've done absolutely the right thing though jumping back in here. Since arriving here (Oct) I've had a few slips but this place keeps me coming back to the quit - seems it's doing the same for you too! So keep at it honey.

I don't feel best qualified at the mo to give too much advice as I'm such a newbie but wanted to lend you my support and give you a big hug :l I have no doubt all the other wise souls will be along soon to lend a hand Hang in there ...

[FreeFly]

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Looks like they've arrived already!

[mauritiusdodo]

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Oh man I hate my mobile phone, just typed out a long reply and it hasn't posted!

Just wanted to say i am overwhelmed at the kindness of everyone on here, you are all so supportive even though I am such a hopeless case!

I feel very lonely at the moment, I have had so many sad things happen in my life but I also am very lucky to have my husband and a nice home and 2 children (annoying as they are LOL) and I need to start being thankful instead of being so negative all the time, I do suspect that a lot of my current state of mind is caused by the alcohol addiction and as such I know I NEED to sort my life out and just quit this endless destructive cycle, I just wish I knew how!

[Nelz]

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mollyka;1209327 wrote: Xpost Ella! Loads of sense in that post, and yes, my second son was a screamer -- when he wasn't asleep or in the buggy, he screamed, for a solid year! I walked and walked and walked with him, about 6 hours a day, and eventually we got through it. He's a fine strapping happy man now of 28

I also have a stroppy teenager --- the problem with her is she's 23
Molly

We had the EXACT same thing happen to us, I couldnt for the life of me figure it, our first was such a quiet child, he didnt even cry when he was delivered.

The screaming does stop eventually and they become much more fun!



Maur, everyone here struggles with AL, some on here stop, some slip, we are all humans and will make mistakes. I applaud you for making the first step and coming to this site. I know it helps me hearing about others, and knowing, I am not the only person in the world feeling a certain way.

I simply would suggest, as hard as it might be, stay alcohol free for just 30 days. You will be amazed at what a difference it can make. It may sound like a lot, believe me, when I first decided to stop, I thought that was a lifetime. I set a small goal at first 7 days, when that was done, I set the 30 day goal.

It does get a little easier the longer you can manage to stay AF(alcohol free). You will start to notice genuine good improvements fairly quickly. When your AL(alcohol) brain tries to take over, redirect your energies to something, ANYTHING else. At first your AL brain will be very persuasive, but in time, you can train your normal brain to be stronger.

As trite as it sounds keep the ODAAT(One day at a time) mantra in your head. If you need to, break it down further into hours or minutes, then do that, whatever it takes to get that one day done. Soon those one days add up to weeks, and months.

GO FOR IT


This calls for a Nelz seal of approval
Attached files [img]/converted_files/1707948=6929-attachment.jpg[/img]

[Marshy]

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mauritiusdodo;1209341 wrote: I just wish I knew how!

Back to basics. Read through the toolbox and get a plan together.
Distract and substitute is a good piece of advice from the toolbox.

Start off by thinking about what you will do instead of drinking - distract yourself during the time that you usually drink. Don't just do the same old thing but without a bottle of wine because you will wish it was there. If you usually watch TV, do something else - lie in the bath and read magazines for a hour just to get out of the usual routine, or post on here!
Stock up on AF drinks and substitute the alcohol with those. There's some surprisingly nice drinks out there to try!
And don't have alcohol in the house. If it's there, you WILL drink it.

Start out with something like that and build up from there, trying new things and adding in anything that helps you

I don't have kids but I do know that doing anything after two bottles of wine the night before is so much more difficult than doing it with a clear head.

You can do it!

[Unwasted]

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Mauri, just wanted to say hi and welcome you back. How about coming over to the Newbie's Nest for support also? Although, you've gotten great advice here. Molly, thank you for being so honest and forthcomig with your story.

Mauri, just wondering if you've ever tried meditation or yoga? They're having great success with them in treatment centers in the U.S. I've just started meditating because I want to stop drinking and move to a more spiritual level in my life.

The Vale book has been helpful but not a cure all. So, I'd like to suggest two more and give you a link to a meditation site.

Virtual MIndfulness Coach (Learn to meditate to reduce your stress level and enhance your sense of well-being)

The Tao of Sobriety and A Burning Desire: Dharma God and the Path of Recovery are both good starter books if you should have an interest.

Please don't feel bad about starting over. Remember we are all here for the same reason and as Nelz said, your posts even help people with longer term sobriety continue to stay sober by reading them.

Sending you peace and strength.

[Nelz]

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Marshy;1209406 wrote: Back to basics. Read through the toolbox and get a plan together.
Distract and substitute is a good piece of advice from the toolbox.

SNIP

Stock up on AF drinks and substitute the alcohol with those. There's some surprisingly nice drinks out there to try!
And don't have alcohol in the house. If it's there, you WILL drink it.

Most excellent of advice......for me its flavored Seltzer water, or plain seltzer with added fresh lemon and lime slices....MMM MMM MMM.

And removing all AL from the house was my first step as well, and I had JUST bought a 30 pack of beer the day before, boy was my neighbor happy that day

[ImHereNow]

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Maurz
If you want to come here every day, sip your two bottles and type whats in your head, we'll be here to listen. You will know what you need to do and when to do it - and we'll all be here for you - when you are ready. What's done is done - today is a new day. What are you going to do today?

[Prairie Fairy]

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Mauri - sooooo glad you came back - I worried when you went poof!

I need to thank you. Your thread on what you hope to gain on beating AL? I bump it all the time. It became a great thread. It sustained me through more than one night of white knuckles.

So thank you.

Welcome home.

[lolab]

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Mauri, do you actually "enjoy" coming back here and asking for help again? No, I didn't think so...so the only other logical explanation is that you really want help and support - and that you really want to stop your destructive behavior....and that is what we see.

Right now, you are seeing everything through those depressing alcohol glasses - and you know you have to stay sober a couple of days before you see things in their true light.

I was worried about you and I'm so glad that you're still trying...:l

[BlondeAFAmbition]

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Hey there Mauri!!! How are you? You and I started on MWO about the same time I believe, earlier this year? Just read through your post. The important thing is that you are here and posting and that is wonderful. We have all had our false starts. For me, it's number 3 this year and I'm about 2 weeks into it AF. It's a journey and we all have our ups and downs. Do not feel badly about starting over...that's how we learn and make progress! Hugs to you and it's great to see you here!

[patrice]

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Hi Mauri,

Just wanted to add my voice to the support already given.. and the good advice.
Keep busy and eat really really well.. I too have slipped many times and I'm back on day 3 but for me, it seems like everytime I slip for a few days I get back up much faster than I used to.. I no longer say.. I'll wait till monday or I'll wait till next month.. I know its different for everyone but the more I try the easier it is getting up to start trying again. Does that make sense?? for example although Movember has not been an AF month for me so far - I have had more time AF than drinking... instead of saying ' oh i'll wait till 1st December, I said no I'll try agian today or this afternoon. It's just those first few days then gets easier in every way. Keep Strong

Take Care
Patrice

[FreeFly]

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patrice;1209451 wrote: Keep busy and eat really really well.. I too have slipped many times and I'm back on day 3 but for me, it seems like everytime I slip for a few days I get back up much faster than I used to.. I no longer say.. I'll wait till monday or I'll wait till next month.. I know its different for everyone but the more I try the easier it is getting up to start trying again. Does that make sense?? Patrice

Ditto!