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[mario]

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Hi mauritiusdodo
"you never do anything right" Some of us carry this accusation deep in our minds,perhaps from childhood. We remember past mistakes & failures,sometimes dredging them up again
when new failures occur.

When we do this,we unduly burden ourselfs with a past that should be
released & forgotten. The result of past mistakes was a feeling of inadequacy and helplessness
that prolonged our sickness.

In those troubled days,we were trying to solve our problems in ways that
actually made the problems worse,on that path,there was no hope of a real
solution.

Today our failure & mistakes are but signs that we are still human and still
fall short of perfection.but now we can use failure to good advantage and
even learn from it,our best progress will come when we separate ourselfs
from the mistakes and failures of the past.welcome back and go for it

[BelleGirl]

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Hi Mauri, I remember you well, because when I first came to this site, we were on the same day for our 30 AF day goal. I finally gained the courage to officially join, and then noticed that you were gone...and wondered what happened. I was hoping we could cheer each other on. Glad you are back...although nobody wants to be here, it is a great place for people like us to get healthy.

I hear you about the kids. Kids can truly push you over the edge. And you with a teen and a toddler, it must be so challenging. Mine are 8 and 11. They bicker all the time. They do drive me nuts but I love them to pieces as I am sure you love your kids. I used to think that a drink (or 3 or 6) was my "reward" for dealing with all their stuff. Or, some sort of anesthetic to be able to deal with them. None of that worked. I yelled at them until I think I pulled muscles in my abdomen. I had no patience. However, something amazing happened around 14 days into being AF. My kids' behavior *seemed* to have changed. I no longer yell like I did. Homework is not as stressful as it was. Dinner gets made, kids do homework and kids get bathed. Not that it is all perfect, but somehow a whole lot less stressful. Maybe because I don't feel like crap all the time (a.k.a. hungover), which can really make me grouchy. Maybe because I can think clearly, and deal with things logically and calmly. I don't know for sure, but something is different.

So what I am saying, if 30 days AF seems like an eternity, just try going for half that much. 15 days AF. I believe that you will see things get so much better that you will WANT to go for 30...or more. Not sayin' that there aren't times that I think/wish for a drink. But I know where that will lead and I will wake up with my ex-friends Mr Remorse and Mr Regret...in the middle of the night. When I have those cravings, I come right to this place and read and re-read.

Just try it. I promise we will be there for you.:l

[K9Lover]

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Dear Mauri,
I?m so glad to see you back, I?ve wondered how you are. It?s such a good sign that you have come back, because it means you haven?t quit quitting! And I daresay that nobody here succeeded on their first try (there may be a few exceptions, but VERY few). I know I have had to pick myself up more times than I care to remember. You stated that you drink to relieve stress. Does that work? Every time I drank, my stress increased. To me, nothing is worse than the dreaded 3am wakeup with the feelings of shame, embarrassment and regret (not to mention wondering what the hell I?d done the night before, and waiting to see if there?s any fallout). If alcohol truly did relax me, I?d probably still be doing it. Once you realize that alcohol causes problems instead of relieving them, it will be much easier to abstain. I know it?s so difficult at first, in fact I still get these crazy random thoughts about how I?m going to have some beer this weekend. Well, the last few times I did that, it didn?t work out so well for me (to put it lightly). Listen to the others here, they are full of advice based on experience. Don?t set too lofty of a goal right away. I think it was Nelz that suggested even starting with 7 days and take it from there. Let the fog clear and then see how you feel. I am truly wishing the best for you! Please stay close, we?ll be here.
K9

[mauritiusdodo]

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Sorry didn't get chance to post again yesterday, i did read all the lovely posts (too many to comment on individually) and you all have so much great advice and I want to thank everyone for the amazing support! I was AF yesterday and continuing on that line today, I have started putting a dot on my calender for every AF day (nothing that would let anyone nosey know what its for!) and hoping that will motivate me as I rack up more and more days, i was planning to put money away for every bottle of wine I don't buy but TBH my finances are so crap atm I can't afford to do that especially with Christmas around the corner!

thanks again everyone I am going to be lurking and posting and reading and posting and lurking...

[Change]

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Mauritiusdodo,

I'm on my first day too after falling off the wagon for two weeks, after 10 days AF (and feeling good!).

I'm thinking about joining the 'rest of the year' AF challenge. Want to join me?