Thinking of trying to moderate?

[Unwasted]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

Steady Hands. I had a girlfriend I loved dearly years ago. Looking back, though, I realize the major connection for us was drinking. We had a falling out over something and lost touch for several years. She re-contacted me and wanted to get together. When I told her I had stopped drinking, she quickly dropped the idea. What does that say?

People who truly care about you won't want you to get high with them if they know you want to stop drinking/drugging.

My life is much better with people like that OUT of it. I've moved on to a different place and I won't ever let anyone compromise that for me. I hope you can stay strong because NO ONE is worth sending you down a bad road again.

:l:l:l

[Steady Hands]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

Thanks Ann & Unwasted

I think deep down I know I have to let go of all of them...
Deep emotional relationships with addicts is something that makes me sick to my stomach. It was killing me. Unfortunately it is the biggest part of my life.

Modding would have made it easier - or so I fantasize!!. Let go one by one at a manageable emotional level. All these changes at once are exhausting!!!

I know I can't mod. I know it is the end of the line. My life will never be the same again. I just really, really hurt, because I am loosing my family.

[Pinecone]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

Steadyhands,

I just wanted to say that I have admired your attitude and appreciated your posts along the way (we have almost the same quit day). It is a little intimidating to restructure my relationships with people after quitting. I hate having it come up in a conversation. I hate the akward moment of it and the perceived disappointment. I just wanted to wish you some strength and peace to deal with it because I know it isn't easy. One thing that helps me is to remember that if it hasn't happened yet, it is just fear of the unknown. Sorry I'm just rambling on, but I wanted to commiserate with you!

[Steady Hands]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

Hi Pinecone & Mollyka

Thank you guys sooo much for your thoughts and responses. I read it earlier today. Over and over. This forum truly helps to make the changes that we need to in order to kick AL.

I am off to a holiday with my ex end ex in laws. Funny, but easier to tolerate them than my own family at this time.

Go well and we will speak again in 2012.

[Prairie Fairy]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

It's interesting the points on friends. I have several who probably worried I was going to far with the drinking, but at the same time after the length of time of my first quit - started to get anxious - as in how long are you going to do this.

Both of whom I think are one stage earlier in the process - one of whom maybe only a half stage? She knows she has an issue because she broke down hysterical about it but know says it's an NBD - all under control.

I think over time I maybe able to help her - she has another friend who rehabbed (several substances in abuse) who she has actively cheered on - so it's not like she doesn't get the concepts. Just she has to hit when she is ready. So I'm not ready to set that friend free.

The other I have to decide how much time and when to spend. Or I am going to simply have to tell her - have what you want - but I am cleaning up my act - so please - no pressure.

I didn't really have drinking buddies. So this part may be easier. I am finding that people are having a hard time at parties - why everyone has a glass - good heavens - it's just one Prairie.

But as Byrdie says - no one wakes up in the morning wishing they were hung over.

[Unwasted]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

PF, it never ceases to amaze me at how ingrained drinking is in our culture. It's not until you have distance from it that you see how crazy it is.....to be standing around swilling something that is so potentially harmful. Why is it that we think even one glass is ok? I know, I had that train of thought for decades. Now with perspective, it looks like insanity to me. Hold that thought, Unwasted. -------saying to self and others!

[Struggles 106]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

Our drinking Culture

You are so right Unwasted. The alcohol industry has lots and lots of $$$$$$$$$$$$$, as we see in the ads that glamorize drinking. Always great-looking people, in great looking places, having a wonderful and fabulous and stylish cool time.
No car wrecks, no vomiting, no GI distress, no jaundice, no liver failure, and no death.

Such a crock.

[Unwasted]

Thinking of trying to moderate?

Ann, it's been talked about many times on this site, but the TV shows with alcohol are what really blow my mind. The alcohol industry HAS to be fueling these programs - paying them for some kind of product placement........Grey's Anatomy is a good example. We watched an episode (taped - not the most recent) last night where almost the entire show revolved around asking someone to go get a drink, drinking, scenes in the bar, and on and on......That has to be by design. And it's in so many programs. Pretty sick, really. I'd love to know if the alcohol industry is in cahoots with the film industry. I mean, we know products like Pepsi, cereal companies, etc. pay to have their products displayed.........that corollary to the alcohol industry would be a fascinating tidbit of information to uncover.