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    #16
    A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

    Thx Ann!

    Yes, miracle after miracle getting away with it!! No more pushing my luck!
    Can't wait to experience life when the beast left me completely (or 99%)!!
    12-20-2012 AF
    Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.

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      #17
      A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

      This is a really good thread because it underlines one point very well. If you have just one little drink, you can be straight back to where you started, simple as that. I am on day 17 now and I know that if I just touch one small drink then I will have to go through all that hell again and I don't want that. Every day now, I am working on frightening myself at the thought of touching another drink. I try to imagine the label with the word poison written on it. Don't get me wrong here, please, but I am beginning to believe that moderation may be a sign of weakness ? Most of us can't moderate so why try ?

      I think you guys are the same, but I believe that we have to accept that AL is not for us anymore. Personally it has cost me so much in lost time and enjoyment of life. I am not about to go back to that misery if I can help it.

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        #18
        A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

        Wow, I could have wrote this. Except, the booze brain hit me yesterday morning and I had Vodka/Cranberry drinks all afternoon. I was able to maintain making dinner and putting the kids to bed, but when I woke this morning I had horrible anxiety and shame. I feel horrible about myself today. I have all these negative thoughts about AL and what it does to me, but I couldn't shake the craving. It was awful. I haven't drank since yesterday afternoon, and don't plan on it for Thanksgiving. I just have to know when the craving hits, how the hell am I going to get rid of it, instead of drinking!?!? I had almost 10 days AF before yesterday. I hate alcohol!!!
        Living life to the fullest.

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          #19
          A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

          Hiya,
          Thank you all for your thoughts on this...

          And thank you Molly and Ann.. for telling it like it is..

          Blonde - that was an interesting question " Is that how you wanted your weekend to turn out like". I didn't even have to think about it - the answer is an emphatic NO!! No I didn't have a good weekend, the first 5 minutes was great then as time went on and my Addicted Brain ( yes I am now using that word!) couldn't stop.

          Like you Tipperette, out of those 3 bottles of wine and a small amount of vodka, only the first half a glass was good.. the next 2 and 3 quarters was like a bitter medicine.. I just slugged it down wanting to get it finished.

          I know this topic has been done to the death but I really am having trouble accepting that maybe,possibly or even certainly, I can't drink to safe levels. That I just can't drink...and a little scared voice is saying What?? Forever??. I'm trying to silence that little voice and thinking, today with an eye to tomorrow...

          Like all of you with the holiday season coming up.. what? no champagne on Christmas day? No Pinot Noir with the Turkey? (well more like Salad in NZ!!). Yes I can see I have some work to do on acceptance

          I realise I have been on this site for 2 years now- Is that really how long I have been battling??
          But one thing I have internalised and I think I understand now is not to stop trying and food, good natural food, supplements and water, exercise too (not that I have been good on that front) is a great starting point.

          So here it sit, 2.30am in the wide awake club.. finishing another Day 1 and learning

          Thanks so much for your input
          Take Care
          Patrice

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            #20
            A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

            Hi Mtn Momma,

            Yes Snap, I feel the same!!! But 10 days is better than 0 days and I'm sure you felt a lot better.. I have a 6 year old son who of course at the weekend had no stories read, instant noodles for dinner and a mother who was having a rest (passed out) at 2pm in the afternoon.. He was safe and ok but really so so shabby!!!

            Patrice

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              #21
              A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

              we must share the same brain Patrice, i keep thinking the same thing about what if........
              I went back to day 1's sleeping pattern that had no pattern in it at all and i was awake and asleep and now i am up to day two feeling like i have an atrocious hangover and am so tired and lethargic. fool that i am for picking up that first drink i say. Yes the first drink is always the best then we beat ourselves up and then we have glass two etc. never ends up happy.
              Anne your wisdom always makes me think and thank you.

              DAY 2 and coping
              AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

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                #22
                A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

                Patrice, this is a great thread for all of us to read. Your heart must keep you coming back, because if you are anything like me, that voice in my head does not like me being here. I'm just trying like heck to follow my heart, and not that little voice (sometimes not so little).
                "When you have faults, do not fear to abandon them." Analects of Confucius
                AF 11/12/11

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                  #23
                  A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

                  IMHO again

                  I don't think it's a sign of weakness at all! It's
                  the nature of addiction-that is all. The alcohol floods
                  the brain with "feel-good" dopamine. Natural dopamine
                  levels are impaired, SP they are no longer adequate
                  to feel "normal" hence the craving
                  Biology. Not a simple matter of choice. Your brain
                  is the battleground.
                  I can relate to the dismay at the thought of not
                  drinking. But this too can be overcome. I used to
                  be the same way. And really-what are the positive
                  aspects of drinking? It's all about getting drunk
                  isn't it? And drunkenness is counterproductive
                  to everything.
                  Kick the Drink by Jason Vale helped me with this
                  concept-one of the tools I've used. I realized that
                  I just had to stop to have any quality of life.
                  Good luck everyone!

                  Comment

                    #24
                    A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

                    Ann 22
                    You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

                    :lilangel:

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                      #25
                      A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

                      What I meant to say was Ann221 - nice post!
                      You were born with wings, why prefer to crawl through life? Rumi

                      :lilangel:

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                        #26
                        A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

                        Patrice,

                        Once you accept that you can no longer drink AL safely you will start making better decisions for yourself.
                        Why keep repeating the pattern & ending up with the same results?

                        Make your plan & commit yourself to an AF life ~ you won't be sorry
                        AF since 03/26/09
                        NF since 05/19/09
                        Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                        Comment

                          #27
                          A question.. would be grateful for any thoughts and confirmations

                          Oh Patrice YES it is !
                          Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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