I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

[slowly sinking]

Hi All...thanks for all the kind welcomes and encouragement. I am an alcoholic..there, I said it! My husband just left me for that and other reasons. Here's my question...

He drinks every single day...he even took a cooler of beer to the hospital to be with his mother on her death bed...BUT, he says he's not an alcoholic because he never gets drunk. He even convinced my 13 year old son of this so that my son would get mad at me for having a drink(and rightly so), but wouldn't get mad at my husband...can you actually drink every day and NOT be an alcoholic?

Anyway, obviously I'm angry with him right now..but this will pass..I'm more angry at ME....

Starting DAY 1...I'm feeling strong and I'm getting strength from reading all your posts...warm thoughts to all...:h

[jennyneric]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

two things
1)each person must decide for themselves if they, and only they, have a problem. You get into trouble when you compare yourself to other people. Don't worry about him worry about you, then worry about him.
2)it's really not how much or how often you drink, its what happens when you drink that determines if you have a problem with drinking. My hubby drinks everyday also but he does not get hangovers, he does not say things he does not mean, he does not black out, he does not get DWIs. In short he does not have a problem when he drinks...I on the other hand do. I get hangovers, I blackout, I say things I don't mean. He drinks more than I do but I handle it worse than he does.

[slowly sinking]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Hi Jennyneric....wow, that was a perfect reply. You nailed it. I do all of the above except thank God no DWIs.
Thanks so much...I hope you're doing well and all the best to you..
Here goes Day 1!
Love and hugs...SS

[slowly sinking]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Thanks mollyka! CONGRATS on the AF....can't wait to get there!

[sunshinedaisies]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

I don't think it matters if one has the label or not. What matters is if YOU think you have a problem. I drink everyday - but never get drunk, have blackouts, etc., etc., but I also DO think i have a problem!! Hubs also drinks - he doesn't think he has a problem - I think he does - we just don't talk about it. As Jenny said, you need to worry about you - don't worry about him - a cooler in the hospital ?!?!

That is wonderful that you are here - I am sorry that your son is being dragged into it - that is wrong of your husband to do that - good for you being here and starting day 1 - lots of good posts to read - try the Tool Box for ideas too..... stay around on here, come back for support. Hang in there Slowly....:l

sun

[Nelz]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Im certainly no expert in the field, but it sounds to me like someone is in denial. Since you have admitted you are an alcoholic, process of elimination only leaves one. Taking booze to the hospital? Thats pretty hardcore, either I wasnt an alky, or I wasnt that bad off.

He may not feel like he's getting drunk, because I would imagine his tolerance has been built up to a very high level. When I was drinking, I felt the same way, it seemed as though I couldnt get drunk. And at the end of my drinking, I would take a shot of whiskey before every beer, and usually had 10 drinks a night. Followed up with sleeping pills and or Nyquil, so I could get to sleep. It seemed like nothing could get to me and my Rasputans stomach.

Good for you for admitting your problem, and trying to change. You can do this, and you will feel different and better in very short time.

[slowly sinking]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Thanks everyone....I have to stop putting all the blame on myself. It's never 100% one person's fault? We've only been married 2 years and he walked away because of my problem. I think if I had a physical illness, he probably would have left over that as well..
Anyway, this is about me...and all of you and US getting through this. I'm actually getting excited reading and chatting with all of you. I know it's gonna be hard but I have hope...
THANK YOU ALL !!

[mama bear]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Slowly
are you ok with him leaving??? You sound like you are
and ditto what everyone else says....take care of YOURSELF love...the rest will follow
Congrats on Day 1

[Struggles 106]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Hey Sinking

Hmmmm. He drinks every day? And somehow a narrative has been established that he is
better than you, not as BAD as you, not an alcoholic?
I call bs on this. You have to have your best interest in mind; ckearly he does not, as evidenced by being screwed up enough to drag a child into adult matters.
Get better, good luck, and stay strong

[nancy]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

labels

I don't think the term alcoholic is very useful, it's very subjective. This idea of "only you can decide" is something I don't believe in. I think the word alcohol use disorder is more appropriate. There are quizzes you can take that take into account your level of risk, based on the number of drinks you have and your gender, and types of risky behavior. So for example, a DUI brings your score up. It sounds like he doesn't have much risky behavior but he is dependent to some extent on this emotionally/psychologically, which is why he took the cooler to the hospital. You could look at the volume of what he drinks to see if physically he might be vulnerable to some organ damage.

[slowly sinking]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Hi Mama Bear....I'm just really sad that my 2nd marriage has failed...BUT every one of my friends were against it from the start, so I guess I'm not surprised. I was a drinker before we married but became a really heavy drinker after. My lifestyle changed drastically....he's a musician...so I started staying up later and later, drinking with him, more and more..but I didn't bounce back like he did. I was always hungover-so I drank to get rid of the hangover...I drank for other reasons as well...chronic pain..self medication...
As another member said..different people handle AL differently...he drinks every day..can't go a day without it..I would go days without it, and the minute I would have a drink, he would get mad at me..probably because I can't handle it and would drink to excess.
Sorry to ramble on...You're right....I have to take care of me and my son....Thank so much to all of you....

[mama bear]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

being single again may be a good thing honey.....
a musician's life is a tough one
just know we are here for you
come join our looney family in "The Journey" thread if you like....
we'll hold you up by your bootstraps!!

[slowly sinking]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

I'll do that!! Thanks so much ! Warm hugsxxxSS

[spacebebe01]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

I have to agree with what jenny said in her reply on both counts, when I drink I turn into a monster and do all kinds of things I would not normally do, drink changes me I neglect my children, I neglect myself, I am abusive, I risk my life, I am violent ect ect. but my mum drinks everyday and she gets up of a morning and showers, she helps her family and friends and anyone else she can, she pays her bills and cleans her flat in other words drink does not change her, she is still in control of her life and in control of her drinking. I had a problem with this for many years over the fact that she could drink and Im not supposed to, in other words I was jealous of her like I am jealous of everyone who can drink and be ok and everyone who drinks and may not be ok but doesnt seem to mind and so therefore carrys on drinking. The answer to this lies with me, I have to learn to accept the fact that I cannot drink, ever, and be okay with it, drink and me are not a good mix, so Im trying my very best, useing whatever methods I can to remain sober. Im sorry to hear that your husband has left you, this must be a very difficult time for you and I appluad you for comming on here and for not drinking, way to go, I hope you and your son are ok, allso years ago my mum used to have my children spying on me and phoning her to tell her if I was drinking, she allso used to tell them to look for my drink and pour it away, this caused a lot of anger and resentment that lasted for years and damaged my relationship with my children, as they carried on doing this and it got to the point of violence between us as they got older, she should never have done this, it was totally wrong of her to involve my children in this, as it is wrong for your husband to involve your son in this, maybe you should try and calmly tell him this, but do not tell him that he should not drink, that is not the point, you could even write him a letter saying this if you cannot talk to him without confrontation. You are doing well and dont forget you need to look after yourself and you son, your husband is an adult and can go and do whatever he chooses so lonbg as he dosent hurt you and son. xx

[slowly sinking]

I drink every day but I'm not an alcoholic??

Thanks Space...how are doing now? Are you AL free yet? I'm hoping you were able to repair your relationships. One of the hardest things is that my son has a form of Autism and for my husband to involve him at all in this is unforgiveable!
When we were first together, I was a drinker...problems in the marriage started bringing the angry drinker out in me and and things got worse and worse and I drank more and more...not that I didn't drink before we were together..it just got really bad..I just wish he would have at least tried to help instead of walking away..guess that says it all..I'm in therapy, I begged him to go-of course he said no... SO...moving on...starting over..and the best thing is to get sober and healthy for me and my son...
I really hope you're doing ok...thanks so much for writing....love and hugs..SS