I can't do this...

[mauritiusdodo]

I don't know why but I simply cannot do this, at the moment all I can manage is one day without AL then I succumb again, I feel so hopeless and helpless and useless I come on here and declare all sorts of aims and hopes and then they all just go down the pan in a nano-second I really and truly don't think I can give up and I so desperately want to :upset::upset::upset: please does anyone have a strategy for me, I know I am asking a lot because I have already asked so much of you all but I am so sick of this :upset:

[mario]

I can't do this...

Hi Mauritius Dodo

Everyone needs to form a game plan and work on it. They can either try to fight their way out of trouble, or they can seek help, They can’t do it alone, it’s vital to the process. I presume you have read and checked out the tool box here in the monthly abstinence thread ? Have you tried AA or Baclofen ?
or better still imo all three,You can & want to do this mauritiusdodo as can be seen by your constant trying don't give up keep at it.

[one2many]

I can't do this...

You CAN do it Dodo.

It IS doable.

Identify what steps you have taken in the past to stop and why they did not work for you.

Look at the methods you have not yet tried. Bend other peoples ear about them, try something else, never stop trying.....

None of us gave up first time we decided to quit. There is nothing easy about it or there would be no alcoholics left in the world. Keep on plugging, you will find the way for you.
Put all your energy into that.

We are all behind you x

[Running4life]

I can't do this...

Don't give up. Have you asked the Doctor to give you Antibuse? I was having the same trouble as you and I know how bad you feel. I have been seeing an addictions Doctor and he prescribed 2 pills a day.
I am sorry but I have not looked up the actual dosage. I have taken it before but I would take one but could never get myself to take one the next day.
The Doctor kind of balled me out when I said I was not taking it regularly. He said that I was not willing. The big AA book talks about this. Anyway I figured that it took me quite a while to find an addictions Doctor so I had better do what he said. I have taken two each day for the past 20 days and it really works. I absolutely know that I can't drink unless I let it wear off for about two weeks.
He said that it would work like an anti craving drug because my know that I just can't have any. I suffered a bit of a craving tonight but otherwise I am doing okay.
It is worth a try for you as you seem to having great difficulty giving in to the cravings.
Anyway, don't give up. Keep trying to quit. Have you tried exercising? Setting a goal for exercise quite often improves the mood and therefore may decrease the frequency of your drinking.
I know that running keeps me sane.
Take care Mauri. Don't give up!!!!!
R4L

[Unwasted]

I can't do this...

Mauri, I second what everyone here is saying. After many attempts to moderate I now have 9 days and am feeling so much stronger and resolute this time. So, the idea is to not give up because eventually something kicks in. I don't know what will work for you, but here's what I'm doing:

Reading voraciously
Exercise in some form every day
Meditation
Extremely healthy foods
Lots of water and herbal teas
Cooking a lot
Avoiding some social situations that might be bad for me
Maintaining calm in my life
Posting and reading on MWO and having a connection to others who don't drink
Attending Buddhist (non-drinking) functions (dosn't have to be Buddhist obviously but I think having a spiritual component to my plan is helping me trementdously)

I've never felt better physically and emotionally - you can do this - just keep trying.

If nothing you're doing on your own works, how about getting a doctor to give you something like Antabuse? It's helping R4L and it's helped many others here. It could get you started.

Sending you peace and strength.:l

[if dreams were horses]

I can't do this...

Hi Dodo, I am going into my 2nd day AF, and over 40 hours. Yes I count the hours for I would drink in the middle of the night if I could not sleep.
I do hope you do not give up, I managed to quite 2.5 years ago for 3 months then again 1 years ago for 1 month, now I am hoping 3rd time is the charm.
Everyone who posted knows what they are talking about, me I am still tripping, but so far I have managed to catch myself. Yes it is only 2 days, but that is 2 days I have not had a drink. I am however concerned about the holidays coming. So again Dodo do not give up

[beagle]

I can't do this...

mauritiusdodo, i so understand what you're saying. every morning i wake up determined, positive, then the day wears me out & my internal saboteur gets to work real hard. so far i've only managed day 5 a week ago. sometime somebody once told me that i didn't obviously really WANT to give up, to be af. that still grates me.
i can only get up again tomorrow with the same wants, & hope that something clicks for me.
if you need one-on-one day-by-day stuff, i'll go with you.

unwasted, that was a great post.

[beagle]

I can't do this...

hey dreams....
speaking of horses....just deleting this photo for personal reasons ! no offence anyone...

[mauritiusdodo]

I can't do this...

thanks everyone, I don't really have any plans and I know that is the problem, I never seem to have time to read anything to help me, I have a toddler, a teenager and am trying to set up a business and also help a friend to set up her business, i daren't go and see the doctor as I tried once around a year ago and he didn't want to give me antabuse even though i told him how much i was drinking (then it was around half what it is now) i am really embarrassed talking to him and i suppose i don't want it on my medical history really either. I haven't any spare money at the moment to buy any supplements or cds or anything with christmas coming I need to concentrate on that, I just wish I would wake up one day not wanting to drink every evening, I just can't see that day ever dawning thank you all for the lovely replies and advice I will try and implement some of the ideas

[beagle]

I can't do this...

but mauritius, without meaning to sound complacent, aren't we just "waiting" for the magical to happen? just a thought friend as i've often berated myself, thinking, "you are not working HARD enough" , or is that self-destructive thinking? no judgement here, you sound like you have your hands full. but if all you have is here ( as is my case), then maybe ....i don't know, maybe i should stay more connected here myself!!!!

[spacebebe01]

I can't do this...

Hi dodo, I can only echo what other have said after reading your first post but then after eading your second post I became more worried about you, if you just sit and wait for sobriety to come to you, you may be waiting a long time, I dont want to sound like Im patronising you, Im saying this because I do care, I accept you have your hands full but could you try and empty them a bit? the most important things for you could become getting sober, your baby and your teenager, next to these Im sorry but either your own business and your friends business mean nothing, I know we would all like financial security but I heard somewhere that when you get old not many people look back on their lives and wish they had spent more time in work, but a lot look back and wish they had more time with their families, for me after missing so many years of my children growing up because I was drunk I dont want to miss another day for anything. I wish you well and hope you get the help and support you need. On a practical note if you have seen the doctor before regarding alcohol then its probably already on your medical history and you shouldnt worry about taking his time and talking to him, if you do then maybe you need to think about changing your doctor. I take antabuse and think its fantastic, the best thing Ive ever done. I have also just started taking bac as a long term aid for staying sober. there are many suppliments you can read about on here, there is also AA meetings, Lifering meetings and SMART meetings plus other I believe, changing your diet could also be a great help as is excercising. You need to get possitive and get a plan together, start looking forward to a sober future, YOU CAN DO THIS.

[Doggygirl]

I can't do this...

mauritiusdodo;1213696 wrote: thanks everyone, I don't really have any plans and I know that is the problem, I never seem to have time to read anything to help me, I have a toddler, a teenager and am trying to set up a business and also help a friend to set up her business, i daren't go and see the doctor as I tried once around a year ago and he didn't want to give me antabuse even though i told him how much i was drinking (then it was around half what it is now) i am really embarrassed talking to him and i suppose i don't want it on my medical history really either. I haven't any spare money at the moment to buy any supplements or cds or anything with christmas coming I need to concentrate on that, I just wish I would wake up one day not wanting to drink every evening, I just can't see that day ever dawning thank you all for the lovely replies and advice I will try and implement some of the ideas

This affliction is SO cunning, baffling, and powerful. That is why we need each other to help each other see the truth and see where maybe we are fooling ourselves. I tried to battle this thing alone for years and years and that never worked - mainly because alone, I was able to tell myself all the sorts of things you are telling yourself.

If you don't have time for making a plan and reading to support your efforts towards sobriety, where are you finding the time to drink, make sure you have a supply, nurse hangovers, mop up any messes you make while drinking?

If you don't have money for supplements, how can you afford booze?

I know what it's like to WISH I'd wake up one morning and it would all be different. You already know that won't happen.

Alcoholism will KILL US. The stakes are high. At some point, we have to set aside our pride and worry about stuff in medical records, embarrasment about doctors/other people "finding out" etc, and make it our number one priority to do whatever it takes to get well.

I hope you will take a close look at your schedule and find a way to spend some time making a realistic plan, and prioritizing necessary resources into your budget.

BELIEVE. So many of us here have been exactly where you are, and we have found our way out. It's not easy, but MAN is it worth it. If you can just get free, you will be amazed one day down the road at how much more effective you can be as a mom, business owner, citizen. YOU CAN DO THIS.

DG

[Unwasted]

I can't do this...

Just wanted to say that everyone here has posted so brilliantly - this is an amazing site.

Beagle - what a beautiful picture.

[DriftyAlison0]

I can't do this...

one2many;1213573 wrote: You CAN do it Dodo.

It IS doable.

Identify what steps you have taken in the past to stop and why they did not work for you.

Look at the methods you have not yet tried. Bend other peoples ear about them, try something else, never stop trying.....

None of us gave up first time we decided to quit. There is nothing easy about it or there would be no alcoholics left in the world. Keep on plugging, you will find the way for you.
Put all your energy into that.

We are all behind you x

I couldn't have said it any better! Hang in there! If one plan fails, then try a new one. I lost the amount of tries that I tried to quit and failed before this successful quit.

[spuddleduck]

I can't do this...

dodo honey.. im with you. you can do this. if i remember you got a bit of sober time going when you first came here. im in the same place. im sure WE CAN DO THIS!