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    It's not looking good.

    :h:hI know I drink too much, always have. I lost weight, almost 90 pounds. I was determined and I did it. I feel now that I have swapped one addiction for another. All through my weight loss, I seemed to drink more and more. Is this normal?

    I am done with this, please help. Any way you can.
    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

    #2
    It's not looking good.

    btw, I passed out Sunday, banged my head, and got cigarette burns on my face.I feel very proud, not.
    Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

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      #3
      It's not looking good.

      That's no good. I also woke up this morning but a coupleof scaps and a lot of guilt. Lets give up for good!!!!!
      45 days AF 24/11/11 - Jan 2012.
      New day 1- 9 January !
      Back again 27 May 2012 - day 1

      Comment


        #4
        It's not looking good.

        Hi Halo and Australia

        All you can do is TRY. Isn't that blackout situation the worst thing ever? Scared the hell out of me.
        As I'm sure you know it will only get worse. It certainly is not going to get better. The only
        way out is to stop. There are lots of conversations here and elsewhere about the concept of
        "moderation". Most people here have tried it,failed and admitted that not drinking alcohol is
        the only option.
        All of this is not your fault. We are different physiologically, just like people with a pancreas that doesn't function properly are diabetic. A lot of it is biology. The stigma has been around so long it's hard to ignore it. We are not lazy,deficient,lacking in will-power or any of that.
        I can't say why but I think I get it now. I won't let my guard down though and my last drunken episode is never far from my memory. It was so awful that it immediately cuts off any thought of "having a beer" or any nonsense like that. Having a beer came to mean having 6,8,10,then more. Progressive-yes, undefeatable-NO.
        Kepp trying, take care and good luck.

        Comment


          #5
          It's not looking good.

          It got so nightly blackouts were common with me, so I was at one point, right there with you guys. I decided once and for all I was done with AL. I was done putting my wife through my jekyl/hyde personality.

          I gave it up so far for 6 months, one of, if not THE best decision I ever made. You both have the power to do it. It wont be easy, Id be lying if I told you that. But it CAN be done.

          Visit here, post here, ask questions, ask your doctor, study the internet, just do it, and not tomorrow, after the "tempting" holidays, not Jan1, do it now. The sooner you decide to kick the evil monster to the curb the better off you will be!


          I wish you all the strength needed to win
          Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




          DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

          Comment


            #6
            It's not looking good.

            Thanks for this. I feel like I am two different people sometimes and I really hate the drunk me.Aus, if you really want to try, I am up for it. Ann, Nelz, thanks for understanding. I feel stronger today, did drink last night but not to the point of stupour. I suppose that's a start.
            Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

            Comment


              #7
              It's not looking good.

              Hi Broken Halo, don't worry... your still an Angel!

              I understand swapping one addiction for another. I quit smoking first and then drank more. Quit AL 2 weeks ago and started....well, eating more. Probably the last thing you want to hear!! But I rather weigh a bit more than using black outs as a way of falling asleep...

              Today I had a coversation with a person I last saw just after a heavy night that ended in a blackout... I smiled so broadly...WOW!! The last time I was self conscious and hoped he wouldn't realise that I was badly hung over. My brain was so numb I took caution in walking. Also had to choose clothing that would hide bruises. Today I walked and talked with confidence and could put on what I desired!!

              Life TOTALLY without AL is worth it!!

              I wish you the best!
              12-20-2012 AF
              Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.

              Comment


                #8
                It's not looking good.

                thanks everyone and yes, lets do it today Halo! no drinks for thanksgiving will be the thanks youre giving yourself!!!!im one day down and excited for that. I think youre right Anne, there is no moderation for us and no one understands this. My mother berated me for my drinking to excess while pouring me a glass of wine as one or two is fine and i should def have one for two, it took all my willpower to say no, she just cant see it not my lack of willpower, it likes something goes off in my brain and I am compelled to drink til I pass out.
                45 days AF 24/11/11 - Jan 2012.
                New day 1- 9 January !
                Back again 27 May 2012 - day 1

                Comment


                  #9
                  It's not looking good.

                  Thank you Steady Hands, that really helped me! I can so identify with what you said. I met my new boss for the first time a couple of weeks ago. I was so badly hungover and shaking so badly! I am sure he must have noticed. Now I want to make sure he never sees me like that again.

                  Aus, I am exactly the same. I can't stop at one or two, all the time I am thinking about how to get more.

                  I feel kind of calm and accepting today, and also very thankful that I haven't permanently disfigured myself or worse. I now know I have no option but to stop completely and I am trying to focus on the positives. Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement. :h
                  Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it! ~ Goethe

                  Comment


                    #10
                    It's not looking good.

                    Hey Halo

                    You can do it. Thoughts of drinking don't come up much but when they do I just remember how hard the first days were and I know I won't go through that again. Seems to help to keep in mind how awful
                    my last episode was. For a while in the summer I was pretending YET AGAIN that I could have a couple of beers with colleagues after work and come home.
                    Of course as usual the inevitable happens-2 becomes 10 before you know it! I hate being a drunk but it is what it is. I feel that I have to take some personal responsibility though addiction is a tricky thing.
                    Good luck and take care

                    Comment


                      #11
                      It's not looking good.

                      Hi broken halo!

                      Welcome to MWO ~ this is a good place

                      If you haven't already, download the MWO book from the Health store here so you can get a good understanding about the program's components - supplements, Hypnotherapy, exercise, diet & Rx meds if you choose to take them.

                      Black outs are not good, shows your dependence on AL is increasing. Take back control of your life now - you won't be sorry

                      Visit us in the Newbies Nest thread for more support.
                      Wishing you the best!

                      Lav
                      AF since 03/26/09
                      NF since 05/19/09
                      Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

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