Well, this sure isn't easy.
Admitting a problem to oneself is difficult while admitting to others is really difficult.
I feel safe, though, here with all of you.
Here's my story; At nearly 50 there have been times in my life where I've over-indulged frequently - as in a weekly habit. Currently is one of those times.
I've just been drinking too much and too often lately.
Sound familiar!?
I don't nec 'crave' alcohol nor do I really have any withdrawl symptoms other than hangovers. My main problem is truly not being able to regulate myself.
Yes, there are times I'm good and have 1 - 3 drinks (3 ought to be my limit).
I 'tell myself' that I'll behave and be in control but I lose that self-control once I get past a certain buzz level.
Preferably I'd like to be a self-controlled social drinker. I've missed work and holidays suffering from a hang over. I'm too 'mature' for that and really really want to stop that behavior.
I've tried hypnosis twice. The last time I really went under but I didn't follow up with the provided CD.
I've told my physician I wanted to try some of the meds but she said I don't have that strong of a problem. I've told my psychiatrist and he, too, says my problem isn't severe enough.
Perhaps it isn't; I don't 'need' to drink daily, it's a psychological situation, not physical. Truly I'm embarassed to discuss this with him at length.
I just started a supplement of Complex B with C as well as magnesium and a vitamin D.
One thing to note is that I've been on Zoloft for years due to low-grade, long term depression. I know (from being on and off it over years) that this plays a big part of the self-control issue in that it inhibits my self-control.
So now what? I can beat myself up endlessly; tell myself I'm going to change (and again - at nearly 50 - I haven't yet succeeded), ignore it, hope, think "some day" I will, etc... But I'm just so tired and run down - I need some answers, help and guidance.
Thank you!!
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