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[LostButFound]

Hi All
Well, this sure isn't easy.
Admitting a problem to oneself is difficult while admitting to others is really difficult.
I feel safe, though, here with all of you.

Here's my story; At nearly 50 there have been times in my life where I've over-indulged frequently - as in a weekly habit. Currently is one of those times.
I've just been drinking too much and too often lately.
Sound familiar!?

I don't nec 'crave' alcohol nor do I really have any withdrawl symptoms other than hangovers. My main problem is truly not being able to regulate myself.
Yes, there are times I'm good and have 1 - 3 drinks (3 ought to be my limit).
I 'tell myself' that I'll behave and be in control but I lose that self-control once I get past a certain buzz level.

Preferably I'd like to be a self-controlled social drinker. I've missed work and holidays suffering from a hang over. I'm too 'mature' for that and really really want to stop that behavior.

I've tried hypnosis twice. The last time I really went under but I didn't follow up with the provided CD.
I've told my physician I wanted to try some of the meds but she said I don't have that strong of a problem. I've told my psychiatrist and he, too, says my problem isn't severe enough.
Perhaps it isn't; I don't 'need' to drink daily, it's a psychological situation, not physical. Truly I'm embarassed to discuss this with him at length.

I just started a supplement of Complex B with C as well as magnesium and a vitamin D.

One thing to note is that I've been on Zoloft for years due to low-grade, long term depression. I know (from being on and off it over years) that this plays a big part of the self-control issue in that it inhibits my self-control.

So now what? I can beat myself up endlessly; tell myself I'm going to change (and again - at nearly 50 - I haven't yet succeeded), ignore it, hope, think "some day" I will, etc... But I'm just so tired and run down - I need some answers, help and guidance.

Thank you!!

[Unwasted]

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LBF, the quantity of alcohol I drank would not have been considered by many to have been a problem, but it was for me. I felt bad constantly from alcohol.

I have stopped putting all my faith in medical professionals. They have made mistakes with me and many people I know. And, I think they're very clueless about drinking. Really, I think any alcohol is harmful but people (including doctors) are so brainswashed that they don't see it. And, they don't see what your issue could turn in to down the road -- it's progressive.

I can't really advise you but I can suggest reading and posting a lot here -- it will help you clairfy where you're at with drinking. I'm also a huge advocate of reading books on the subject and meditating (and for me practicing Buddhism).

Welcome and sending you peace and strength.

[Nelz]

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Welcome aboard, you have come to the right place. Pretty sure most people here have felt the very same way. There is a lot of good info, and support on this here board.

To be honest, at the end of my "drinking career" I was drinking even when I didnt really want to, it was strange, like I HAD to be drinking at night.

Been lucky so far, about 6 months sober........and feeling a bit stronger over AL.


I wish you strength and support during you attempt at an AF life.


Here's yer welcome aboard star....

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[LostButFound]

I'm new

Hi
Thanks for the replies.
I think docs do tend to ignore times we are asking for help.
It's like - unless I say out and out that I'm an alcoholic they don't seem to want to deal with it.
I don't drink everynight nor do want to or crave it. It's simply a matter or self control and not going overboard.
And it's not like every time i drink I go overboard.

At the present I hope for that kind of control; if stopping all alcohol happens in due time then I'll accept it, but baby steps at present.

I'm looking forward to relying on this site, etc, for help.
LBF

[one2many]

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A big welcome to you LBF! Lot's of support to be had here! Good to meet you x

[LostButFound]

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one2many;1214861 wrote: A big welcome to you LBF! Lot's of support to be had here! Good to meet you x

Thank you! Not easy but I'm trying.

[Struggles 106]

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Hey LBF

Welcome to a great support place. Everyone here knows exactlu what you're talking about.

I agree with Unwasted that medical porfessionals don't always get it. They mena well but they just don't (unless they have alcohol "problems" as well) Only you know what you need to do.
As I am inclined to do, maybe too often, I'd like to say that "normal" drinkiing, aka
"moderation" is simply not possible for people with alcohol addiction. Also be aware that the craving as well as withdrawal symptoms can be very subtle. I thought for along time that I didn't have cravings, which made me picture someone clawing into a bottle ina desperate manner. But really if you give it some thought-the times when you did not plan to drink, then did, were preceded by something (thoughts etc) that compelled you to do it against your beteter judgement.
As for withdrawal, hangovers are bad enough aren't they? If they were the only symptom that is. Again-subtle but maybe recognizable if you watch closely.
With your recognition of the need to stop you are ahead of the game. Many many people who are literally drunk every day deny this. How I do not know but they do.
I can only say what worked for me (so far -day 50). The main motivation for me is fear.
I am a it older than you and I would have to be nuts to deny the progression of all the nad stuff. It was so obvious and so terrifying. Bad things happened with worse to come if I didn't get a grip. I think you may be in the same situation.
It gets easier as time goes by.
I wish you well and hope that you have support, but of course you have everyone here. I would bet that we all have very similar awful stories. It's the nature of addiction.
I'm not one for AA but for some it can be the thing to help most of all. I rather like the concept of taking charge, getting on with it and I've never been much of a group type or joiner. But you might try it.
Lots of ways to proceed-bit imho-first and foremost is to get the alcohol out of your system long enough to get a clear head and go from there.
Good luck and take care!

[Steady Hands]

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Hi LBF

I agree with Unwasted and Ann. It is a bit different for everybody, but posting and reading on this site helps to find your own specific way.

I became so used to living with a hangover that only the very severe ones stopped me. My withdrawels were very easy (in comparison with what I read here) and I also do not crave...here and there I think about it.... I don't use meds, just sups and starting to see the results in my skin!

Only thing that I know is that anti depressants and AL doesn't go together - seriously!! And of course, AL is a depressant....you make the maths!

To my surprise the quitting wasn't that difficult, but the emotions to firstly get to the point of deciding to throw the crutches down was exhausting. After a week I was even more surprised to feel that I cope better without AL and I never want to drink again. It doesn't make sense anymore.

Two weeks and a day ago I first posted on MWO. Drunk, scared and crying...
Post and read and post and read!!

Best of luck!
SH

[Steady Hands]

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And come say hello in the newbies nest! There is a lot of great support!

[timpin]

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Hi Steady

WE appear to have something in common here because I noticed that you said quitting wasn't that difficult. I found the same even though I do admit I had a couple of wobbly moments ! You also say that you never want to drink again. I feel exactly the same. Whilst I know and understand how powerful and evil AL is I still feel that I can't afford to take any chances with it and I am sure that you will feel the same. I am absolutely convinced that to get even as far as we have in this short time that you just must have a plan. Without it you are beaten before you start. I have had bad hangovers after a session of drinking and decided not to drink again, but it didn't work because I was stopping for the wrong reasons. However with a plan it is so much easier. I would recommend the following to anyone starting out:

Research alcohol and do your homework.
Think about why you want to stop.
Be prepared for the withdrawal.
Pick your date
Stop.

Of course we all know that there is a lot more to it than just that, but it is a start. As many successful people in life will tell us, failing to plan is planning to fail !

LBF, check all the threads out on here, keep posting and soon you will find a way of being able to move forward. When you come up with your plan, tell us about it and everyone here will be here to support you. Good luck.

[LostButFound]

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Hi All
I'ts nice to know people are in my corner even though I know that means you've suffered, too.

I'll try to watch out for any withdrawl signs; I don't drink everyday nor do I think about it daily. Having been on and off the anti-d's I can truly say they play a part in 'losing control'. The chemicals obviously do not mix.

I decided to join this group because Roberta put it out there that she wanted to cut back rather than 'cut it all out'. I guess that's the first reasonable step, see how it goes, see what goals I can achieve, etc. I wouldn't feel comfortable making a giant decision and trying to stick with it; for me if I failed that would be huge.
Again, small even steps.

Thanks, will check in this weekend!!!

[Steady Hands]

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Hi LBF

Sounds like you know yourself well and what would / would not work for you. If small steps is what you need right now, take the small steps.

Timpin - Yes! Sounds like we have similar journeys. I am surprised at the similarities and differences one read on this site!I have a plan that consists 99% of radiant health and a very clear picture of how I want to grow old.

Have a good weekend.

[LostButFound]

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Guilt? Shame? Despair? Ill? Sad?
Not today!
In fact, not all weekend!
Instead: Freedom. Clear. Well. Energy.

[techie]

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Welcome. So happy to have you here!