starting over again

[discovermarisa]

Well I made it 11 days then drank since Thursday. Thank God I made it to work today, but now I just feel like sh*t. I have been battling this for so long and it just seems that I always mess up. I just feel terrible, because of my kids. How sad that they have to have a drunk mother. When I drink, I let everything get fucked up, don't cook or clean, and just get wasted. I"M SO SICK OF IT! I feel worthless. I don't think its fair that I have to fight to be normal, why has this been given to me? Why can't I be a good mom? My kids love me and I'm not mean to them but I'm always drunk and it kills me because they will remember me as always drunk. The sad thing is is that I can't wait to go home...so I can drink. Disgusting...

[Lavande]

starting over again

Marisa,

You had 11 AF days - great!
Whatever you did to manage that just do it again!

Don't waste your time feeling sorry for yourself for not being able to be a normal drinker. That's why we're all here because we know we cannot drink safely. You can be a good mom, a good employee, whatever you want - you just can't drink. I can't either!

Do yourself a favor & go back to the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html
& use some of those ideas to make a better plan for yourself.
I finally succeeded in quitting when I stopped BS-ing myself & made a firm commitment to quit!

You can do this too
Wishing you the best!

Lav

[Juja]

starting over again

Aw, jeez, discoverm, I'm sorry; I can feel how bad you feel. But don't give up, okay? 11 days is great---it really is.

For most of us, becoming permanently AF is a process, not an instantaneous thing. It would be nice to throw a switch, and never desire AL again, but it ain't going to happen. We have to work at it--I still am.

My best to you. Dust yourself off; tomorrow's another day and another chance.:l

[Struggles 106]

starting over again

Hey Discover

Welcome and don't despair! I can relate, and most people here can too.
Both my parents were drunks, we had 7 kids-4 drunks and 3 not. Very interesting.
I can tell you that the chaos did affect us in a negative way.
You can have an alcohol-free life! I know it might seem impossible but you really can.
Support is here, and everyone will help you as much as possible.
Please post how you are doing. Others here longer than I will give you links to help.
Don't beat yourself up! It can happen if you make it happen.

[mylife]

starting over again

Just jump right back on Marisa. You can do this - read the tool box!

[discovermarisa]

starting over again

Today will be day 1 for me...and I'm OK.

It won't be as hard this time because I only fell off the wagon for a few days. Compared to making it 11 days after YEARS of drinking I know I can do it now. Thanks for all the support.

My husband and dad both got into trouble this last weekend and are both prolly headed to jail. Which will be fine, I pay all the bills in the brand new home I bought by myself and am the only one with a job. My husband taked care of the kids. Had me flippin out yesterday, but I'm OK today. I'll be fine and I already have sitter's in place for when something bad happens. It might even help me. I can take care of my kiddos and myself and be more productive at my work. The only thing that's wrong is my alcohol consumption.

So I need to kick that and everything won't be such a catastrophe on a daily basis for me to live through. It's all a mind thing. Yesterday seemed SO incredilbly bleak and today I'm seeing some light.