I've been 'stalking' this forum for a week or so, and I have decided to let you all know that I'm here! Here's my story:
About 10 years ago, at the age of 27, I visited an AA meeting. I was dismissed as a binge drinker and nothing more. Admittedly, I was only drinking on the weekends and when I was on holiday, but still, I felt that my drinking was heavy enough to have caused me a heap of problems.
10 years later, I still only drink on the weekends, but the amount I drink has progressively developed to easily 30 standard drinks on average per week. While the average drinker probably has 18-21 spread across the week, I drink 30-40 in two days. During the holidays, this figure easily doubles.
That was until 20 Nov 2011, when I finally decided to call it quits. I know that if I didn't stop, it would only get worse, and worse.
The problems that alcohol has caused me are comparable to what I have read on this forum. I am a classic Jekyll and Hyde. When I am sober, I am a fervent Christian, hold a noble job where I am well-respected, and I am much-loved by my family. When I have had one too many, I change so much, I hate who I am, and can?t bear to look myself in the mirror the next day.
At first I didn?t want to stop because I felt that life would be too boring without alcohol. I then decided to stop because alcohol was not making me feel good about myself, and causing me to do regretful things. But now, that I am AF for 10 days, which is quite an achievement because I am on holiday, I realise that I am enjoying the holidays with my family a lot more with the haze lifted. Alcohol has robbed me of time ? time I spent lusting for the next drink, time I spent living in a blur, thinking THAT was fun, and the days I spent regretting my post-alcohol behaviour. I feel so deceived, that I am now determined to kick it out of my life once and for all.
I am so grateful to have found this site. It has been my bedtime reading for the last one week or so, and I have followed some of the advice here. Encountering quotes such as ?I love my family more than alcohol?, and ?Fake it until you feel it?, and ODAAT, have inspired me. I just had to let all of you know how much help you?ve been to me even though we are so far from one another. It is a forum where people have so much respect for one another that it touches me.
I know that I am going to need this place.
About 10 years ago, at the age of 27, I visited an AA meeting. I was dismissed as a binge drinker and nothing more. Admittedly, I was only drinking on the weekends and when I was on holiday, but still, I felt that my drinking was heavy enough to have caused me a heap of problems.
10 years later, I still only drink on the weekends, but the amount I drink has progressively developed to easily 30 standard drinks on average per week. While the average drinker probably has 18-21 spread across the week, I drink 30-40 in two days. During the holidays, this figure easily doubles.
That was until 20 Nov 2011, when I finally decided to call it quits. I know that if I didn't stop, it would only get worse, and worse.
The problems that alcohol has caused me are comparable to what I have read on this forum. I am a classic Jekyll and Hyde. When I am sober, I am a fervent Christian, hold a noble job where I am well-respected, and I am much-loved by my family. When I have had one too many, I change so much, I hate who I am, and can?t bear to look myself in the mirror the next day.
At first I didn?t want to stop because I felt that life would be too boring without alcohol. I then decided to stop because alcohol was not making me feel good about myself, and causing me to do regretful things. But now, that I am AF for 10 days, which is quite an achievement because I am on holiday, I realise that I am enjoying the holidays with my family a lot more with the haze lifted. Alcohol has robbed me of time ? time I spent lusting for the next drink, time I spent living in a blur, thinking THAT was fun, and the days I spent regretting my post-alcohol behaviour. I feel so deceived, that I am now determined to kick it out of my life once and for all.
I am so grateful to have found this site. It has been my bedtime reading for the last one week or so, and I have followed some of the advice here. Encountering quotes such as ?I love my family more than alcohol?, and ?Fake it until you feel it?, and ODAAT, have inspired me. I just had to let all of you know how much help you?ve been to me even though we are so far from one another. It is a forum where people have so much respect for one another that it touches me.
I know that I am going to need this place.
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