Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

[rebekah]

Hi all, well this is my first post here though it's my boyfriend not me that is the one with the problem, maybe I should have posted this in the family section but I have a question for the others so I have posted here hope thats ok. I've been scouring the net for info etc so that I can help him with this horrible curse he is currently dealing with. I know I know that until he is ready himself he will not be able to do anything but I'm sure a little softly softly coaxing cannot hurt too much, I cannot simply sit by and watch him destroy his life. I already lost my bipolar mother who purposly OD on here prescription meds three years ago, I won't do it again. I will do whatever it is in my power to do to help him. Again I know I can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do and one day I may just have to walk away but while there is still hope I'm not yet willing to do that, I still believe that if my mother had of had someone strong beside her she wouldn't have felt so alone in this world and felt compelled to leave it. I know alcoholism and bipolar are not one and the same but I think you get what I mean. After 10 years of very heavy drinking, and I mean most of the day and night, his body is starting to say enough is enough and he is not even 30 yet. I know he wants to stop and take control of his life again, I'm not sure if he is totally ready but to totally give up as he uses alcohol to self medicate and dull the issues he can't seem to deal with. I also know he is scared to try and to fail. The whole AA thing is not for him so when I cam across this book and site I thought bingo this is right up his alley. So am giving him a copy of this book and the cd's and who knows??? Can't hurt to try eh? You guys all sound so inspirational I figure it's worth a shot. So I'm gathering up all the info I can, including where he may like to go for treatment, i.e. counselling, doctor etc. Also gonna try get him to give acupuncture a try to help with the withdrawals.

Now for my question can anyone recommend any good doctors/counsellors in Sydney Australia (I know there are a number of Auzzies in here) or a place where I can search, I tried googling but only came up with one name, I'd like to give him the option of a couple so he can find one that fits. As I said he has been a heavy drinker for some time and gets the shakes when he hasn't had a drink so he will need a doctor to guide him through this if he is gonna make it.

Thanks everyone for listening, I hope this post want too long :thanks:

[louie]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Hi Rebekah, and welcome!

I am very new here and just wanted to say, your boyfriend is very lucky to have your support.

Unfortunately, I do not know of any doctors or counsellors directly, except to say you may try calling Nature Care college in Crows Nest, Sydney 02 9438 3333 as they do have counsellors there and do have counselling and may be able to point you in a better direction. Their website is www.naturecare.com.au

I am a student there and one of my lecturers for counselling is an ex addiction/ alcohol/ drug counsellor for 6 years or so. I am not sure whether anyone there could help you but they may point you in the right direction. And may even be able to steer you somewhere closer to where you live - Sydney is a big city!!!

The only other sort of things I can think of is calling someone like the Salvation army, or even trying your GP - they may know someone. Maybe even citizens advice bureau???

Just some thoughts, hope this helps in some way, and maybe some other Aussies have some better ideas.

Best wishes to you and your boyfriend,
Louie

[tawnyfrog]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Hi Rebekah,

Thanks for posting. It's great that you want to help your bloke but in order for this programme to work, he is going to really need and want to do this for himself. Perhaps after he's read the book you might like to show him some of the posts by other men here on the site - they're really good and might inspire him.

Good on you for trying - Can't help with any Sydney docs. Some of the other NSW people might reply.

Hope to see you around.

[rebekah]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Hi Louie I actually studied at nature care as well didn't even think of that thanks.

Tawny Frog you are totally right and I know that he really needs to want to do this for himself for it to work as it is going to be hard work.

I'm trying very hard to not lose my temper with him or become accusitory (is that even a word??) as I doubt that will help the situation. I've seen how he gets his back up when his parents have a go at him and it's like a wall is thrown up and nothing is getting in, it's like he feels everyone is against him and he wishes they all just go away. I guess thats the reason I'm doing all this research and trying to find ways to help, it's my outlet and makes me feel less like I'm just sitting by helplessly watching him, even though there is the possiblity none of this may help.
It's hard for us who have never been there ourselves to 'get it' I suppose, I mean we've never actually experienced it before so we cannot truly understand. You know I have it in my head 'why can't you just stop it's killing you' but I know it's not as simple as that. So I'm trying to get as knowledgeable as I can so I can support him through this time and if it comes it (though I preay every day it doesn't) to know when it's time to let go.

I'll keep searching for doc's/counsellors. I'm eagerly awaiting the book/CD's and will definately steer him towards this site and hopefully it inspires him as much as it inspired me

Bek

[tawnyfrog]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Bek - try hopping into chat ...

[NickC]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Hi Bek

Speaking from a male perspective, Tawny's right in that he does need to admit he has a problem which is a huge step, otherwise he can't really benefit from this site. And others telling him so, can create resistance, you're right - it would for me. You'll need to be subtle! But once that admission is made, and a will is there to do something, for me the rest quite easily followed on. I only joined about 6 weeks ago, read the book, a shed load of posts, then hatched a plan (which was a great burden lifting exercise).

The great thing about this site is its flexibility - some choose abstinance others like me have gone down the moderation route (which itself has many forms). I suspect your boyfriend feels he has a terrible choice to make - carry on as is, or give up completely AA style. Far easier not to make that choice! In my opinion that is an old fashioned concept that can only work for some and this site recognises that individuals have different alcohol problems and therefore different solutions - albeit the underlying cause is the same. He'll need to devise his own plan of action but at least he will be finding "his way out" rather than folllowing some predetermined path.

I only joined recently but it has changed and perhaps saved my life. The people are great, chat is great and can be hilarious, and everone has a sympathetic, non judgemental, ear.

If you can get him to join, read and post, it would be a massively beneficial step. But beware, you might find him up till all hours on chat! Might need to somehow delete this thread though - dont want him to think we're all talking about him behind his back!

Good luck

NICK

[Flip]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Hi Bek,

I'm in Canberra, so can't help with Drs, but I can only let you know what I have done/am doing. I went to my GP, told her everything an she's been wonderful. She helped me through the beginning, I'm now taking Campral, I have found a support group called SOS - it's a secular organisation, so no "higher being/God stuff". I've got a cousellor through the Alcohol and drug council here and have one on one sessions once a week. I even told all my friends and my boss so they all know what I'm trying to do. I read everything I can get my hands on and I sepnd some time here every day!

That said, it is clear that I WANT to quit. without the dedication and desire there is no way your partner will do any of these things.

All you can do is let him know that help is available if he really wants to stop poisoning himself and his life. (Goodness, I sould like a religous zealot! which I'm not!!)

Flip

[rebekah]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Thanks for all your great words guys I know he does want to stop alcohol taking over his life but as you said Nick notyet ready to give it up completely that's why I think this program may strike a chord with him. I'm not going to be pushy as I've seen how well that works!!! I just wish he could see himself for the amazing person I see in him.

Oh yeah and if I do get him onto this site think I will delete this post

Bek

[Determinator]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Rebekah, get him on the forum and introduce him to us...he'll love it. he can tell his story and see that he has many friends.

[louie]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Flip,

Well done!! You are obviously very committed to remaining AF!!

It is a very brave journey we are all on. At the moment I am doing it without any meds or counselling but I have no hesitation in doing either if need be. The most important thing is a sobre me!!

Louie

[Flip]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

:thanks: thanks Louie, I am still scared that I will fail and that my new found sobriety (sanity) will disappear. I'm not out of the woods yet, by any stretch of the imagination. How are you doing?

F

[louie]

Hello and Doctor Help in Sydney Australia

Day 6 today - has been tough as whole day alone and night - hubby at cricket and dinner with the boys.

But have managed it and another day down (almost) and a week tomorrow. Longest I can ever remember.

I have been a bit fluey but hopefully feel better tomorrow and am going to start eating really nutritiously and exercising - if this rain stops long enough for a walk!!

I am still focused on remaining sober and this is my main priority. Next week will be the biggest test - on holiday in Noosa for the week with everyone else drinking. If I can survive that, I know I will be fine.

Louie