ugggh

[gimp]

My mom passed away two days ago, and while she was in the hospital and since she has passed I have been on easily the longest and most insane bender of my life. It all caught up to me last night and I have had the worst hangover of my life since about 5pm last night. I couldnt fall alseep becuase I felt so shitty. Mentally and physically.

I just feel like a big peice of crap for getting so wasted and making it harder on my family. I'm feeling some major guilt, and the hangover isn't helping.

I think after my DUI earlier this year and now my mom passing away, who had a problem with booze for a number of years, it is really damn time to stop doing this. I know that's what she would want.

I guess I just had to get that off my chest in a place where people would understand. I'm sure not going to be able to deal with the estate etc. if I get blackout drunk 24/7.

Thanks for the vent.

[gimp]

ugggh

Another stupid thing I did was go to the emergency and ask them for ativan, which they gave me four of. Apparently I ate them all fairly quickly. The next thing I recall is throwing up in the hotel bathroom and then dropping a glass, which broke, so I had to get a shuttle back to the hospital for four butterfly stitches. Getting pretty scary when I actually might wind up dead becuase I'm so out of it. The weird thing is that I thought it was funny at the time, but looking back now is terrifying.

[Steady Hands]

ugggh

Hi Gimp

Sorry to hear about your mother and it must be very hard on you.:flower:

I don't really have advice. I was in shock for a long time after my father died and used AL during that time.

Try to get through this night/day (don't know your time zone) without AL. You will feel better soon as the AL leaves your body. Put on a brave smile and allow the ebbs and flows of life to go its way. Your black out - atvan - stitches episode might have been a welcome distraction for other family members. But you know you have to take care of yourself.

I handled my father's estate and it was very stressful & emotional for 1.5 years. If you don't think you will be able to handle it now, rather leave it for someone else. It's a BIG job!!

You can mourn without estate stress and focus on your AL usage with sufficient energy.

Best of luck
SH

[gimp]

ugggh

I have 5 beers that I have avoided drinking, and really don't want to drink, but I am a little concerned about withdrawals, becuase Im a pretty heavy drinker at the best of times, much less the last little bit. I might sip them slowely tonight. Dunno, see how I feel later. I can't do very much damage with 5 beers anyways. I just realized I'm trying to rationalize drinking again, but I am honestly concerned about how I will feel. Been a pretty long time since I didn't have at least a few drinks at night.

[Lavande]

ugggh

gimp,

I've very sorry for your loss.
It is a tough time for sure, I have been thru it myself with both of my parents. Handling the estate is not something you have to do immediately, there's time for that.

Is there any chance of seeing your Doc for some advice & a Rx to help you thru your detox? Please give that some thought so you can be safe.

Wishing you the best.
Lav