A couple of thoughts...

[Steady Hands]

A couple of thoughts...

Thanks Unwasted!

I could work... I already worked out that I would go and "lay down" with the kids (2 & 4 yrs) at about 8:00, because they would not fall asleep on their own and skip the heavy drinking part of the night. Connecting that with the sleep story you gave will make sense!
I'll be "catching up on lost sleep"!

[Chillgirl]

A couple of thoughts...

K9Lover;1224683 wrote:
1) A craving will never last as long as a hangover; and
2) Nobody ever wakes up in the morning wishing they?d got drunk the night before

K9 these are keepers, love them!

[ronnie]

A couple of thoughts...

K9......Love those two saying's and so very true

Thank you
xx

[K9Lover]

A couple of thoughts...

Hi Steady,
I agree with Unwasted that it's pretty sad that we have to justify our not drinking, isn't it? As far as turning down drinks offered by those closest to you, personally I would just look them dead in the eye and say "No thanks. I've decided not to drink for a while". I have found that when you look someone directly in the eye and do not waver, they are less likely to contradict or even question what you're saying. Does that make sense? If they can tell you are serious about what you're saying, it's less likely to become a "debate"...you said no, you meant no.

I know these situations in real life are hard...just be strong and truly believe that you don't owe anyone an explanation...especially when you are doing something positive like not drinking. And don't let the lawyer get to you either....I know a couple of those myself and it's amazing what a steady eye and a firm handshake can do...they learn not to mess with you. LOL

Hang in there...you can do it!
:h

[FlyAway]

A couple of thoughts...

Nobody ever wakes up in the morning wishing they?d got drunk the night before

I think this is brilliant and worth repeating.

So many things about alcohol and society's perception of drinking do not make sense. Having to justify not taking a drug is crazy! Someone on here said a year or so ago that if she was offered a banana and said "no thanks", the discussion would be over. But if she's offered a drink and says "no thanks", she's got to explain herself and be cajoled and become the center of attention. It's rubbish!

[Steady Hands]

A couple of thoughts...

K9Lover;1225681 wrote: Hi Steady,
"No thanks. I've decided not to drink for a while". If they can tell you are serious about what you're saying, it's less likely to become a "debate"...you said no, you meant no.

it's amazing what a steady eye and a firm handshake can do...they learn not to mess with you. LOL

Hang in there...you can do it!
:h

Thank you!

[Supercrew]

A couple of thoughts...

I have always hung out with drinkers and still do. All of my family drinks, except my wife, and I was really, really worried about how to turn down alcohol, and about answering questions about why.

My first plan of action was 2 fold, I would tell everyone that my doctor said I was having some medical issues and I couldn't drink, and I would always make sure I had a non-alcoholic beverage in my hand.

The first 2 functions I went to I used the excuse and only one person questioned it, and I told him I was having some stomach discomfort....mind you all of this was true, the Dr. said I was drinking too much, and it was messing up my stomach and my liver.

Once I realized I could accomplish being sober at gatherings and I realized that I was no longer going to drink again, I just started telling people that "I don't drink anymore". I was really scared to say those words outloud, but a funny thing happened. Most of the people who offered and then heard "I don't drink anymore", said "OK, you want another diet coke?"

Now there have been three people who have asked a little more prying questions, "really?? why did you quit?". I told each of them that I quit because I wanted to and I wanted to be healthier, and I really didn't enjoy the effects anymore. Alll three of them said, "damn I wish I had your willpower, I have been thinking about stopping for a long time and just haven't been able to do it." I was really suprised by that response. Since that time all three of those people have cut back their drinking considerably. Now it's been over a year since I first started this quest for sobriety, and no one says a word about me not drinking...and I still hang out with some heavy drinkers/alcoholics. All they ever tell me anymore is about how good and how healthy I look. One even went as far as to tell me that I seem like a much more positive and nicer person to be around. The positive comments keep on coming and it only strengthens my resolve never to drink again, and I am truly happy with that decision.

Please realize if someone is really looking to call you out for not drinking and really hell bent on getting you to drink, it's only for one reason. They themselves have a drinking problem, and if you were anything like me, by you not being the big embarrassing over drinking lush like I was, you no longer take the focus off the next big lush in your family or group. They want you to drink because it masks their problem. If you aren't drinking they are the one who looks like the biggest drunk.

[mario]

A couple of thoughts...

I say alcohol doesent agree with me and leave it at that.





K9 good post and lovely to see you here.

[Nursie]

A couple of thoughts...

Quote:
Nobody ever wakes up in the morning wishing they’d got drunk the night before

This quote has always been so powerful for me.

I love this thread. Great ideas here. And SC, so true. My brother practically chases me around with alcohol and he is an alcoholic too.

I usually just say "no thanks" or say I'm in the mood for some hot tea.

[Cassander]

A couple of thoughts...

These are all great suggestions.

I quit 4 years ago and am in a job where cocktails and wine are the norm for business entertainment. In the beginning I squirmed a lot and would occasionally order a drink and just not drink it.

Now I just pass or order a diet coke. If someone asks, I'll say "I pretty much don't drink any more. Just don't, have kinda lost interest." Hardly any one asks why, but if someone does, I'll say, "You know I got on this health kick...going to the gym, eating better, losing weight and it just seems like cutting back on the drinking goes with it." That seems to do the trick every time.

I do agree that in certain situations there can be an uncomfortable moment or two. I have often wondered why there isn't a code for a non-alcoholic "martini" that we can order so that the discussion about why doesn't come up. Its pretty hard to order a Shirley Temple at age 40, or 50 or 60, though...maybe something like a "Rock Gibson" or something tough-sounding which the non-drinking community and the bartender community all know is non-AL, but our heavy drinking friends think is the real deal...

Cassander

[Unwasted]

A couple of thoughts...

Great ideas everyone - just wanted to reiterate (and it was probably said earlier on this thread).....I think it's really important to have thought things through before you're in the situation and have the response you're going to say ready........getting caught off guard is the kiss of death for me.........makes me more malleable..........

[K9Lover]

A couple of thoughts...

It just occurred to me that since I don't celebrate Holidays, I am used to getting weird looks all year long. Add not drinking to the mix and it just cements me as the "oddball" I guess. :H

[Struggles 106]

A couple of thoughts...

Different perspective?

Since I've always felt that I was known as the company drunk, I don't mind saying I don't drink anymore. It keeps me accountable I suppose.
I also suppose that noone asks me why because they know exactly why.
My boss had a dinner thing last night that I did not go to;today there was mention of people drinking tequila etc. I am very happy to be out of that awful loop.

[Unwasted]

A couple of thoughts...

It's a relief, isn't it Ann?!! K9, I don't celebrate either, so you are not alone.:l