Hi all
I'm here, but I've been here before. Couldn't remember the old ID so I've got a new one, and maybe that bodes well. When I arrived here the first time I was having anything from one and a half to two ordinary size bottles (ie 75 cl) of red wine every single night. Decided I'd stop, and I did, two years ago almost to the day - it was actually 30 Dec that I had my last drink. (That time). Made it through till the end of May the next year, and made that fatal mistake. I must say though, I've managed not to drink every single day, maybe 2 or 3 times a week, never two nights in a row, and I'd not go more than 1 and a half bottles. Sometimes I'd stop at a single one. But I've been aware of it lurking there, and I am just beginning to sense it creeping up that bit too far, and I'm losing that tiny bit of control that I have had over it. It's now turned into a regular Thurs/Fri/Sat thing, and I sometimes am getting beyond that half way mark on the second bottle. For the last two or three weeks I've been struggling, because I've started throwing in another night in the week... there IS wine in the house, and there always will be, and believe me, it's no good me suggesting that we get rid of it because it ain't gonna happen. But I did it before, so I must be able to do it again. So last night, I finished the half from the night before (along with another one of course) so there isn't that dangerous half bottle lurking in the fridge. Yes, I am cross with myself for landing up here again, and I'm stupid and all the other things I am, but I am hoping I might be able to check in here tonight and somehow stop myself opening that first bottle. Clearly I am no candidate for moderation, though that isn't what I intended either... I just got persuaded by people who didn't realise, I mean they really went for it persuading me, and I just gave in.... and so although I've not been full on, I still couldn't seem to stop. I am hoping I'll read this confession back to me tonight, and gain some strength from it. Thank you all, I can see some friends still here, I should have stayed here too, shouldn't I, instead of trying to be so darned clever....
I'm here, but I've been here before. Couldn't remember the old ID so I've got a new one, and maybe that bodes well. When I arrived here the first time I was having anything from one and a half to two ordinary size bottles (ie 75 cl) of red wine every single night. Decided I'd stop, and I did, two years ago almost to the day - it was actually 30 Dec that I had my last drink. (That time). Made it through till the end of May the next year, and made that fatal mistake. I must say though, I've managed not to drink every single day, maybe 2 or 3 times a week, never two nights in a row, and I'd not go more than 1 and a half bottles. Sometimes I'd stop at a single one. But I've been aware of it lurking there, and I am just beginning to sense it creeping up that bit too far, and I'm losing that tiny bit of control that I have had over it. It's now turned into a regular Thurs/Fri/Sat thing, and I sometimes am getting beyond that half way mark on the second bottle. For the last two or three weeks I've been struggling, because I've started throwing in another night in the week... there IS wine in the house, and there always will be, and believe me, it's no good me suggesting that we get rid of it because it ain't gonna happen. But I did it before, so I must be able to do it again. So last night, I finished the half from the night before (along with another one of course) so there isn't that dangerous half bottle lurking in the fridge. Yes, I am cross with myself for landing up here again, and I'm stupid and all the other things I am, but I am hoping I might be able to check in here tonight and somehow stop myself opening that first bottle. Clearly I am no candidate for moderation, though that isn't what I intended either... I just got persuaded by people who didn't realise, I mean they really went for it persuading me, and I just gave in.... and so although I've not been full on, I still couldn't seem to stop. I am hoping I'll read this confession back to me tonight, and gain some strength from it. Thank you all, I can see some friends still here, I should have stayed here too, shouldn't I, instead of trying to be so darned clever....
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