Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

[cellist_by_night]

:new:

Hello Everyone,

It's so nice to be here! I have tried on MANY occasions to give up alcohol over the last 6 or 7 years or so, but I have always failed miserably and so I decided that, this time, I need reinforcement. So I'm very glad I stumbled (literally!) onto this site. I'm having a sofa day today, when really I should be out living life, because last night I succumed yet again to that horrid substance called alcohol, which has been resposible for many bad things that have happened to me. Here are a few highlights:

- Back in July I went out on a MONDAY whilst my other half was away, decided to have "just one drink" but got roaring drunk and met some people who took me to a night club where I got even drunker, emotional, crying etc, fell into a taxi (thank God it wasn't an illegal mini cab), lost some expensive earrings, had to pay the driver ?40, and, naturally, had to call in sick the next day. Great start to the week :-(

- 2 years ago got drunk with my sister's husband; he made a pass at me when I was totally gone (I'd probably consumed 2 bottles of red wine by that point), kept it a secret for a year and a half but it came out (again through drink), my sister hit the roof, and blames me for seducing him (I can't remember that part) and now we are barely talking.

- 8 years ago after a particularly drunken night at Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club in Soho (where I had been swigging wine straight from the bottle) I projectile vomited on the train home and upset a lot of people (I had the carriage to myself for the remainder of the journey)

.... and the list could go on and on. I'm not someone who drinks all the time - it's just I can't drink without getting drunk. I can't do moderation. I'm a highly sensitive, emotional type, who has been using alcohol as a way to let go, to relax, to numb my sensitivity. When I'm happy, I drink. When I'm sad, I drink. When I'm stressed, I drink. When I'm relaxed, I drink. Basically, any excuse. I can resist the first drink, but I can't resist subsequent drinks. One drink = 7 more drinks, a few cigarettes (yuck), arguments with my wonderful husband (sometimes these can get violent), behaviour which I can't bring myself to even think about the next day.... and then THE HANGOVER, depression, anxiety.

So, I need to break myself out of this awful cycle. I am feeling very positive that I can do it (despite the terrible hangover) but my problem is not quitting - it is staying quit. I am going to stay close to this forum, make some friends, and take each day as it comes.]

Apologies for the frantic post; my thoughts have just been tumbling out of my head and I haven't thought too much about what this is like for others to read. I've never been very good at this!

Have a lovely day all.

:thanks:

[Guitarista]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Hi Cellist by night, and a huge welcome to you! :welcome:

This is a quite amazing site really, full of excellent, useful info/inspiration, and great supportive people.

Here is our 'toolbox' which i suggest is essential reading. https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

Glad you found your way here. Best wishes on your journey.

G-bloke.

[cellist_by_night]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Thank you for the welcome Guitarista! I'll delve into the tool box now.

:thanks:

[Nursie]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Welcome Cellist. This is an amazing and dynamic place.
I have many of those horror stories and more, as most of us do.
Keep reading. Stay close. And don't take your control back. Seems like every time I Start to feel strong again, I take my control back and there just is no control to be had.

Would I be surprised if I had diabetes and I said "oh let me eat this gingerbread house" and my blood sugar went through the roof? And after repeated episodes I had damaged my pancreas and my eyesight and had repeated infections and neuropathies? No. The only way to manage this is to not drink.

I am saying this for my own benefit as much as anyone else's lol.

Welcome and looking forward to getting to know you better.

Nursie

[Nelz]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Hey there, ho there, hi there!


Welcome to the site, it is indeed a wonderful tool and support system, that is very capable of helping you start living an AF(alcohol free) life! Here you will find people going through the same thoughts/emotions you are.

There is no judging here or holier than though attitudes, just very heartfelt and insightful advice. Jump in anytime, anywhere, dont ever think that because someone has more AF days than you, that you cant have something to contribute.

The little nugget of advice you offer up may be the very thing someone needed to beat the beast for another day, another hour, and so on.

Id offer a few pieces of advice. Be sure to stay hydrated....my new choice is to drink seltzer water....no sodium, calories, no nothing but pure water(but with bubbles!). I think one of the biggest tips I took from here, when I first arrived was....when you're AL(alcohol) brain tells you that you NEED a drink, find ANYTHING you can do to simply redirect your thoughts, and quietly tell yourself.......I dont drink.

Its not a beat yourself up, wish I could drink, why me........just a simple 3 word reminder...I dont drink. Pretty soon you're AL brain will lose out to your normal brain that realizes, that AL is in fact NOT anywhere on the food pyramid of health.


Your mind, body, and soul will undergo some very positive changes, and in very short order. It will not be easy, but I can assure you, in a thousand ways, it will be worth it.

Also, set some short term goals........dont say, Im never ever never ever ever going to drink. Start small...one day, then maybe 7 days, then 30. If you see yourself getting "traction" it will be a great reward system. And do whatever it takes to hit the 30 day mark.

I wish you all the strength, knowledge and wisdom needed to reach your goals

Heeeeeere's your welcome aboard gold star...............

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[cellist_by_night]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Thank you Nelz and Nursie for your amazing words of wisdom and advice! I feel well and truly welcomed... Hangover is graduallypassing now, thank the Lord. I hope and pray that I have now got over my very last hangover! However, I think I'll just take it one hour/day at a time, as Nelz recommended, instead of employing the "I will never drink again" mentality. It's a lot less scary that way!

And yes, soda water is one of my favourites, particularly with a nice wedge of lime. Ahhh, could really do with one of those now... the inside of my mouth feels like a carpet thanks to my drinking sesh which lasted until 1am this morning!

Have a great day x

[FlyAway]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

:colorwelcome:

Definitely read through the tool box and come up with a plan on how you're going to stay sober. There are books you can read, subliminal/hypnotic CDs you can listen to, supplements you can take to help with cravings, meds your doctor can prescribe, etc. The tool box will give you ideas to try.

[Struggles 106]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Hello on Sunday Cellist (in eastern US)

Welcome! You have arrived at a great place for support. This site is one of the reasons I am not drinking.
Your stories were similar to stories we all have. We all have to reach our "bottom", the point we come to where we KNOW this is it-it's got to stop and true efforts have to be made.
All you can do is try. It's a huge struggle at first but as Nelz says it gets easier.
My "bottom" story is that I was at a nearby sports bar, really drunk, and the next thing i was aware of I was standing out front with the manger who had called me a cab. He looked at me like I was garbage, and I suppose that's how he felt. Drunks are not generally admired as we know. The cab came , I came home, had my neighbor drive me back over there and drove my car home. Not far at all but still it was terrible.
SO that was it for me, and that was Oct 6th this year. I have a dear friend who stopped 6 years ago. Just stopped after realizing that he had been drunk in front of his children. That was his "bottom". On the outside looking in it would appear that we all have episodes that SHOULD have been the bottom, but it's an internal realization. No matter how awful it looks from someone else's perspective-it's only you who can finally say ENOUGH.
One more story--this is local. A successful 40 year old physician, quite accustomer to golfing, drinking,sports bar hopping-last summer left the bar to drive home and crashed into and killed a 20 year old ballerina. That was his bottom. Not to be melodramatic, but I felt this was the kind of bottom waiting for me. I could not let that happen.
Take good care of yourself, and realize that an addiction is not your fault. We are all in the same boat so to speak, and everyone here is wonderful.
Learn to treat yourself well.

[Unwasted]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Cellist, just wanted to welcome you. Lots of good advice here already!

Sending you peace and strength.

[Nursie]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

How are you feeling now?
All wonderful advice here.
The seltzer water is divine. The chocolate one is just like cream soda!

[FreeFly]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Hi Cellist and :welcome: from me too

You're going to love it here - so much support and sage advice. I'm loving the new sober me and know you'll love your sober you too :l Hope that hangover's cleared now

[Steady Hands]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Hi Cellist

I was glued to this site the first few days. Reading and reading. The more you read, the more you will find what works for you, and that you are not alone!!

Keep drinking that soda and lime!
Go well
SH

[cellist_by_night]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Hi everyone,

As soon as I woke up this morning I was on here like a shot (pardon the pun). I'm feeling mostly really good today, although stomach pains/cramps are keeping me away from work (heavy drinking affects my poor stomach more than anything else... ) This is only my 3rd day off work since 1 January 2011 (the other two were stomach/alcohol related as well) and my aim is to have zero days off in 2012! Usually I simply struggle in after a heavy night and pretend to work until I can go home, usually via the pub for a hair of the dog.

So I thought the best use of my sick day would be to stay close to this board and read, and read, and read some more. I've had loads of really helpful advice already, and really appreciate all of it. Some of the messages have brought tears to my eyes, they really have.

By big step forward is that I've finally admitted to myself that it only takes one drink. One drink makes a drunk as far as I'm concerned! My brain doesn't accept moderation as an option, it is all or nothing (I've always been an all or nothing kinda girl!) So my main focus will be staying away from that first drink. Sounds simple, but I know it's going to be hard, very hard at first. One of my main concerns is other people's reactions towards my giving up alcohol (I've had some rude and downright bizarre reactions from "friends" during previous attempts to give up Al, who seem to take my quit as a criticism of their own drinking habits, even though I was determined not to draw attention to myself by being one of those "holier than thou" teetotallers who have irritated me in the past!!) but I've decided that any bad reactions from friends or acquaintances will now simply serve to reinforce my decision that I'm doing the right thing. My determination to give up by far outweighs my need to be regarded as the life and soul of the party (I probably never was anyway, just thought I was.... "fun" is, after all, in the eye of the beholder.....)

Have a wonderful day/evening all. I'm really happy to be here!

Cello x

[Unwasted]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Cello, you sound like you're on the exact right track in your thinking - like you understand why it's so important to do this for you and not let peer pressure sway you.

I've decided that any bad reactions from friends or acquaintances will now simply serve to reinforce my decision that I'm doing the right thing

When "friends" are mired in the clutches of alcohol, they don't understand why anyone would want to give it up. Their negative reaction is subconsciously because you're shining a mirror back at their problem.

Saving yourself is key IMHO even if it means losing "friends" who don't want to hang out because you're sober. The people who truly care about you won't discard a friendship over alcohol.

Good for you for realizing that the first drink opens the door to misery, because it's the same for most of us here.

Sending you peace and strength.:l

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Day one newbie. Nervous but excited

Cello may I offer you a big welcome to MWO, congratulations on your decision. Coming here is something I dont think any of us have ever regretted, unlike the innumerable mornings that I have awoken full of self pity, loathing, regret and plain disgust that my drinking brought along with it. It isnt easy to get off of the merry-go-round that our drinking lives become but it is possible as many long termers here will bare witness to.
The jibes and comments of so called 'friends' isnt helpful when trying to stop but in my experience the people who take issue with it are, as Unwasted points out, probably having their own issues with alcohol. Not everyone is ready or able to admit that the AL is a problem.
Anyway you are in the right place, full of people who understand what it is like to be in the grip of this, like only we can. You will find nothing but non judgmental support and advice here, so jump right onboard, you can do this.

Keep safe
KTAB