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[Freesoul]

Hi all, my name is "Freesoul". I came to this site seeking freedom from my demons. I was intrigued by RJs testimonial. She talks about brain chemistry. For me, I think that's the answer. I have been involved with 12 step programs with success however I have never felt truly free. I believe that brain chemistry is the answer. Addiction is not new to me. I realize that behavioral changes lead to a happier more fulfilling life. But what if there is something in the mind that impedes that process? This is why I've turned to this site. Does the medication really work? Does it actually help you to feel better? I am a sceptic that's for sure. If I wish, I can stay clean and sober but what's the point if you live unhappily? In the last eighteen months, I lost my marriage of twenty years. Earlier this year I lost my brother to cancer. It's been a hard time for me to say the least. Does this program really work? I'm all ears!!
Thanks, Freesoul.

[Struggles 106]

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Hey Freesoul

You have definitely found a good place here. Others can/will tell you about meds etc. I just did the cold turkey thing, but this place is all about support and help in a nonjudgemental way.
Everyone here has been down the alcohol addiction path, and yeah I believe that is the correct term for it and it is brain chemistry. It seems to me that though there is a gray area a bit, it can be black and white-you either drink to get drunk or you are what is commonly called the social drinker. A discussion for another day is how our culture accepts the legal drug alcohol and we find drunkenness amusing. Generally not found amusing by those who realize they are out of control.
This site has been a tremendous help to me and I'm sure it will be for you too.
You are already ahead of the game by reaching out and TRYING

[Freesoul]

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Hi Ann, thanks for the very quick response. As I mentioned, I have been involved in 12 step programs and have sincerely tried to get my life in order. In fact, I've lived 6yrs sober. However I think there's much more to this addiction relief than being of service to others and so forth. I am a respected individual amongst my peers. That's fine. But it's the insides that count! I would like to feel good about life in general and myself. That's why I believe that for "us" it's more than just doing the right thing. I think there is a chemical issue within the mind that causes my disease. I am not searching for a magic pill. I know it doesn't exist (yet). But if this program truly works, I'm diving in with both feet!!

[Freesoul]

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And thank you for welcoming me. It's a tough road to be on but I believe I'm pointed in the right direction....Freesoul

[Struggles 106]

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Wow-6 years!

Hi

I know exactly what you mean. I have only managed (previously) 10 months but I was not happy. This time something feels different. I have about 80 days and I can't imagine drinking.
I have a great job too, among other things, but you are right-it is inside that counts. I just could not do that to myself anymore. I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and it was not going to be good. The escalation was so clear in the past year or so that I would be an idiot to not see it.
I would imagine that the meds here are really good for some people. Others will tell you about them. Research does show that they can be very helpful. I don't need them at this point since I was just sick and tired of being a drunk.
Good luck to you, and I am always online if you want to chat you can do a private message.
Well... not ALWAYS online but I do tech support so I am on all day
Six years? THat's amazing to me! I'm looking forward to one year, but that will be 10/7/12
HAHAHA

[Freesoul]

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Hi Ann, ya six years! Crazy to throw that away huh? But in the grand scheme it doesn't really matter. We are on this earth to learn and I'm still learning! I don't look at it as a waste. It's just my journey. But I do believe that there is an imbalance in the mind. I'm certainly not crazy-just not happy. Our daily dredges in life is just life. For so called "normal" people, it's just life. You know what I mean? So if RJs meds help out to relieve or dare I say cure this imbalance, I'm all for it. For you, I know it's completely possible to get off the booze. I did it. I know if I could do it you can too! I got to a point over six years ago where I simply had enough! What's critical I believe is what you do afterwards. Good eating, mild exercise for endorphins, and positive thinking. *

[Lavande]

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Hi Freesoul,

Welcome to MWO, this is a good place with lots of support!
Have you read the MWO book yet? I think you'll find a lot of answers to your questions there.
You can download the book from the Health Store right here on the site.

Changing your thinking is a huge part of continued success. In my case I actually worked a program called "Habit Busting' to change my habit of negative thinking. I did that just before finding MWO & I believe that's what made the difference for me. I did not take any Rx medications, they really aren't going to change your thinking - you have to do that work yourself.

Exchanging feelings of deprivation for feelings of gratitude worked for me. Believing in myself & my ability to do what is best for me worked. Reaching out to offer support to those struggling helps me remember how hopeless I once felt. I never want to become complacent either. Using your new-found freedom to improve your life & the lives of the people around you works as well. I feel more balanced now than I ever have in my life. I had to have my journey too.

Wishing you the best!

Lav

[DriftyAlison0]

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Welcome to the group Freesoul! I did mine cold turkey, but I have heard success stories with the meds, so I would check the med section out Topamax, Campral, Naltrexone, Baclofen, other meds - My Way Out Forums .

Also get a support group set up (both online and offline) and set up a plan, and then stick to the plan. Reading the https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html will help you out in that.

[Freesoul]

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Hi Ann, ya six years! Crazy to throw that away huh? But in the grand scheme it doesn't really matter. We are on this earth to learn and I'm still learning! I don't look at it as a waste. It's just my journey. But I do believe that there is an imbalance in the mind. I'm certainly not crazy-just not happy. Our daily dredges in life is just life. For so called "normal" people, it's just life. You know what I mean? So if RJs meds help out to relieve or dare I say cure this imbalance, I'm all for it. For you, I know it's completely possible to get off the booze. I did it. I know if I could do it you can too! I got to a point over six years ago where I simply had enough! What's critical I believe is what you do afterwards. Good eating, mild exercise for endorphins, and positive thinking. *

[Struggles 106]

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Hey Freesoul

The meds might really help you; can't hurt to try them. I agree we are here to learn, and obviously I am a slow learner! But it's all good. I felt that I was heading for disaster and I'm just happy to be off that crazy rocket ship.
My parents were drunks,we had 7 kids-4 alcoholic and 3 not. Funny how that works. We don't get any do-overs though, so I accept things as they are.
You seem like a very level-headed person, and that should be a plus for your struggle.

[Unwasted]

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Freesoul, I totally hear you about not being happy on the inside. I'm new to sobriety, but feel like I've turned a corner. I want to throw something in here that no one has discussed. Have you considered that you might need to pursue spiritual well-being? I've been an athiest all my life and feel like I was trying to fill the god void with "spirits" i.e. alcohol. I really think that's what we do when we drink - we want transcendence. So, since alcohol is poison to my body and I can't drink it without ill effects, I'm exploring other avenues. I'm studying meditation, Buddhism, Yoga........different ways to look at and experience life. I'm determined, so all these things are helping me. If you haven't read it, Eckhert Tolle's A New Earth is a great tool to get you started. You have to read it with an open mind, but I think it's profound and might give you another way to view life..........

I see that Alison gave you a link to the meds thread - that might be a possibility too. But, since you've gone six years without alcohol, why not try something natural before you launch into drugging your body again? Just a suggestion.

Best to you.

[Herbie]

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Hello Feesoul and welcome... I am far from an expert but I ordered all the vitamin supps recommended by MYO and I feel like they really helped to restore chemical balance to the body and mind through nutrition. AL eats up so much of our stuff (i.e. Vit b)... and that stuff needs to be replaced ... read postings by Prairie Ferry ... she is way into all the nutritional aspects of recovery... you will find her postings very helpful

[Herbie]

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Found this link in another post I think you will find very interesting

Identifying & correcting the biochemical disruption of hypoglycemia and alcoholism

[Freesoul]

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Hello all. I believe my malaise is because of recent events in my life. Losing a marriage along with other difficult events has lead me to artificial happiness. It's not the answer. It takes the pain away for a while but then, well, we all know what follows. *Unwasted, thank you for your suggestions. I have read Eckherts books-they are excellent. In fact I've read a ton of books. Im currently reading a book on meditation. Spirituality is a definite component in recovery. It's one of three: body, mind and spirit. No doubt my spirit is weak. It's the old "I feel sorry for myself" routine. Ive dug myself into a ditch but I don't plan on digging a deeper hole. So for me words mean nothing without action-I plan to take action and take my life back! And thank you as well Herbie. I am very very curious about the meds. For some of us that internal switch is either turned on or off. It's a biochemical thing. I want to try the meds to see if they work for me. Hey, it's worth a shot! ...Freesoul*

[penelope67]

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Hi Freesoul, welcome. I am pretty new here too. I am doing the baclofen protocol and so far so good. I don't give a damn about drinking anymore i just want to be free of this terrible anxiety. Only on day 3 of bac i already feel a certain peacefulness that I am sure will grow bigger!! Like you I have been sober for long periods of time. But as i once heard "alcohol is the solution, not the problem" so removing alcohol is only half the battle. What needs to go is fear and anxiety and this is definitely a brain and body chemical imbalance! These imbalances can be genetic or trauma induced. My grandfather drank himself to death in Glasgow in 1947. I feel bad for him, i am sure he really suffered and felt alone and was judged mercilessly by others. if only he had the option of baclofen like we have maybe i could have met him. Oh well. keep on keeping on. you can find my thread under the baclofen topamax etc etc topic area, my thread is titled "day 2 on baclofen and I have silly grin on my face"...something like that. be well. Andrea