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**Unwasted** · January 9, 2012, 12:44 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Hi Guys,

Well, sleepless here and decided to get up and check in with you! Feeling so strange about my dad (actually my stepdad, RC, so I don't have that longevity gene....). We are close, though, and I wish now that I had not come home....I should have stayed with him - you know just held his hand or sat next to him. I started reading about how they can hear you even when they don't respond. I think I'm going back early in the morning and just staying -- maybe come home to feed my critters and then go back. It's the feeling of not wanting him to be alone when he dies.

RC, you're right, I've had a lot of years with him and he's been declining for a long time but I can't seem to shake the sadness. He'll be better off I know; I just want to be there for him so he's not afraid.

Thanks for your well wishes everyone. At least I didn't drink..........hot chocolate was the beverage of the evening.:l

Peace and love to you all.

**FreeFly** · January 9, 2012, 12:56 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Unwasted;1241283 wrote: Hi Guys,

Well, sleepless here and decided to get up and check in with you! Feeling so strange about my dad (actually my stepdad, RC, so I don't have that longevity gene....). We are close, though, and I wish now that I had not come home....I should have stayed with him - you know just held his hand or sat next to him. I started reading about how they can hear you even when they don't respond. I think I'm going back early in the morning and just staying -- maybe come home to feed my critters and then go back. It's the feeling of not wanting him to be alone when he dies.

RC, you're right, I've had a lot of years with him and he's been declining for a long time but I can't seem to shake the sadness. He'll be better off I know; I just want to be there for him so he's not afraid.

Thanks for your well wishes everyone. At least I didn't drink..........hot chocolate was the beverage of the evening.:l

Peace and love to you all.

Hi UW - sleepless this end too!

I was with my mum when she passed and am so glad I was. I didn't want her to be frightened either. I was able to hold her hand and talk her through as she took her last breath. I kissed her just before that breath and felt her very gentle kiss back (an amazing feat on her part as she'd been so ill). Will never forget it.

Take my hat off to you UW for not drinking

**Unwasted** · January 9, 2012, 01:09 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Thank you for this post Freefly. How amazing that you had that kind of experience with your mom at the end. It must have given her such comfort. That would be my wish, to have someone who loved me holding my hand as I died. I'm glad I didn't drink FF. I know I'll feel proud of making it through this sober.:l

**RingingCedars** · January 9, 2012, 01:15 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Hello sleepless friends. I agree with FF kudos to doing this sober. Just made some gluten free, high fibre biscuits with unsalted butter. Here's a little virtual plate for you two. I've been searching ways to defraud the banksters. Surprise eh. I think I've found what I need. Better hit the hay now. Hope you find sweet dreams girls.

**FreeFly** · January 9, 2012, 01:28 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Yum - thanks RC for the biscuits! Hope you sleep well

UW - I think it's amazing you're doing this AF. Sadly I wasn't AF during my mum's illness and I have some sad memories around that but I was AF when she passed, thankfully! It's a strange and special time. I do think there's something after - not sure what but things have happened since to make me think she's still around (and trying very hard to help me move to a better life I think!).

My mum was not conscious at all in her last week, but like you say, I do think they can still hear us and I'm sure it's an enormous comfort to them to know the ones they love are right there with them.

Thinking of you..... :l

**Running4life** · January 9, 2012, 03:40 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Sorry to hear about your dad Unwasted. I have been there and know what you are going through. I lost my sister almost two years ago to cancer. She just quietly slipped away at the end.
It is a very difficult time for you and you are very brave to do it without any alcohol. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Check in here when you can for some kind wishes and support my friend. We are all here for you.
Take care of yourself,
R4L

**Vini** · January 9, 2012, 05:59 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Thinking of you this morning UW. I too was there when my Mom passed away, it is a good though sad thing to do.

If you can do this AF then it should be easy for me. Day 8 over and on to Day 9.

**spuddleduck** · January 9, 2012, 07:55 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

wishing you huge strength UW. this must be really difficult time for you. just keep strong and sober for your dad.

**broken halo** · January 9, 2012, 08:38 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Hi Unwasted, so sorry to hear about your Dad. I sat with my Dad through the night when he died, just talking to him, reassuring him that we would all be okay etc. It was very sad, but we both needed it. I wish you well at this sad time and I'm sending strength and hugs your way :l

**Unwasted** · January 9, 2012, 09:53 AM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Thanks for the biscuits RC - must have worked because I slept finally (thankfully)!

Headed out to be with my dad everyone. I love you guys - can't tell you how much better your posts have made me feel. So comforting. :l:l:l:l

I did not drink!

Stay strong Jammers.

**mylife** · January 9, 2012, 02:48 PM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Hi Jammers!

I'm here and trying to be upbeat on a Monday, but I feel tired, irritated and blah! I need to shake it. Not enough sleep last night as we were up cleaning a rental unit until late.

Anyway, UW - my heart goes out to you. I lost my Dad in early November. Hang in there and keep being so strong!

Reading everyone's posts and it's so nice to see all the success!

Have a great day everyone.

**Chillgirl** · January 9, 2012, 02:58 PM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

mylife;1240899 wrote:

Ann
Audrey
Believer
Belle Day 4. Started 1/04/12
Broken Halo day 6 started 02.01.2012
Canadian Gal Day 10, started 12/30/11
Cuckoo
Dodo
Drifty Alison
Free Fly day 6 - started 2.1.12
Hyper Nova
Irie. Day 4. Started 1-4-12.
Issy
Jenniech
JennynEric-here! day 7!Started 1/1/2012!
K9
Luka
Merry
My Life 1/1/2012 - Day 8!
Pinecone
Prairie Fairy
Queenbug
Running 4 Life Nov 3, 2011
Sarah Jane
Scottish Lass
Spuds
Tipps
Tribal Rose
UnWasted - Nov 15, Day 55
Vini - started 1/1/12

Hi guys I just want to offer my support to you all and to say that you are all amazing human beings just for being here!
Its a roller coaster journey but SO worth the ride, strap yourselves in and be prepared for the ups and downs.
United you are stronger so stick together and you can all make it!
Sending extra love to you Unwasted, you have a remarkable attitude.

YOU ARE ALL AWESOME, DONT FORGET IT, EVER!

much love
Chill

**Clockwatcher** · January 9, 2012, 06:28 PM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Unwasted, sorry about your Dad, it is great you are there for him and great you are there AF so you can "really" be there....been 11 years since my Dad passed and I am sure I'll be over it any day now but the good memories flood out the others, I wish you peace...

**JonSnow** · January 9, 2012, 06:37 PM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Hi I'm Starting this week too... on my 2nd day with no alc after my attempted moderation Obviously did not work (40 days straight drinking when i was trying to cut back to just weekends). i joined this site ages ago but went away so i will try and stick around this time.

I also have a great fondess for weed i get very angry and depressed after i have it and when i cant have it straight away again. i get in a very bad mood til i get it or drink the bad mood away.

i have been confused whether i have a problem or not. but i guess if you dont want to do it but still do it means you have no control over it.... like if i know i have a problem it seems like i would be able to stop. but i just keep convincing myself i dont have a problem. Is there anyway to be able to tell if you do have a problem? just so i know....

**mylife** · January 9, 2012, 08:22 PM

JAMMIN JANUARY KICKOFF FOR A SOBER 2012 - NEWBIE SUPPORT THREAD

Hi Jon! Welcome!

As far as whether you have a problem only you can really know. Someone once told me if you're wondering if you have a problem ... chances are you probably do.

But only you can really decide.

The good news this is a great site! There are lots of people here who decided they have a problem and this site has helped. Good luck with your journey.

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