I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

[just h]

Okay, I'm 33 and have been a binge drinker since I was 22. I was in a crappy marriage and used Alcohol as an excape. I have had long periods of being AF and without even thinking about it. It just depended on whatever life through at me. But the past few years have been a constant struggle. I can drink every night. I can finish a bottle of vodka in less than a week. Some of my bad days I can finish 3/4's of one. I hate it. I have ruined my relationship with my dad as a result (he's a recovered alcoholic. he found help in God). I do have a supportive new Husband. He helps me any way he can. He just doesn't know what to do. He used to be a coke addict before we met. So, atleast he understands the struggle. I'm going through a terrible bout of depression lately and that doesn't help matters. I feel like I'm on a merry go round and I'm too afraid to jump off. So, I was googling stuff last night and I found this forum. I can relate to a lot of the posts on here.

So, here it is, "Hi".

[Beaches]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Hi Just h and Welcome,
You have found a very supportive forum. A lot of people are struggling with the same issues and we all are battling the demons that come along with alcohol and trying to put the pieces of our lives back together.
Please stay on and keep reading and posting.

[lushy]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Hi Just and welcome. I am always impressed when peopl realize their problem at an early age and do something about it. I wish you the best with it all.

[just h]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Thank you

Thanks for the support. Yes, I see that everyone has demons to wrestle. I'm looking to learn to drink in moderation. I know I can because there have been periods when I could and just have a drink once or twice a month--but I do did go back to binging after a rough spot. I'm not sure how I let all this creep up on me in such a big way. I am taking steps. I'm seeing a counselor/therapist. I have a lot of anger towards my Dad and my Ex that I have to work on that I have tried to avoid and bury deep deep down for years. I need to learn how to express those feelings and not hold them all in until I just break from the tension. I also have been dealing with the depression. I've been dealing with it since I was a teenager. It just has peaked to an unmanagable point the past few years. I recently admitted in March to a doctor that I'm depressed and binge drink and just feel like shit and can't seem to get to doing anything at all. I have been sleeping exccessively and eating junk and just not caring about myself or anyone. So, last March I started antidepressants(Lexapro). That med helped for a month after I was built up and then I just went down again. I just recently change meds (I'm on Cymbalta now) so maybe that has lead to me feeling more in a hole. I am also seeing a Psychiatrist and he has decided to up my dosage. I am taking vitamins (Emergen-C--a few times a day, iron--I have been diagnosed anemic, Salmon oil, garlic oil and Milk thistle). This past two weeks I have been eating better and I see some difference. I was AF from Thurs until New Year's Eve. Hubby bought a bottle of bubbly on NYE--I did drink more of the bottle than him. I am currently trying to get another appointment with my counselor. I only had my introductory visit with her. I hope to learn some new tools how to cope instead of running to a drink to numb or cut or take diet pills. I seem to run to something. But after reading posts on here I don't feel alone or like a freak of nature. I know now there is hope. I also know I have to do the work. So, now even though I am buzzed I am going to my exercise. I did it last night. I love sweating last night. It felt great. I hate gyms and such. I put on a good dance CD--Mariah Carey, Beyonce, G. Stefani......-- and dance my ass off. Last night I danced for about 30 mins. That's a big deal for me. Before not knowing I was anemic I tried to dance to my fave tunes or just tried to walk around my neighborhood and got so winded it was hard to do. Work was hard to do. I work retail at a big box store. Now I need to build my stamina back up. I love dancing to music. Just letting my body move however to music for awhile gets my endorpins and heartrate going. So, a healthier diet and more dancing should help. I am setting goals for myself these days. My Mom has helped me out with ideas. Next I will tackle art as a weapon to dealing with life. I am also reading the Bible from the beginning and praying to ask God to help me out. He has anwered prayers from me before. So, I'm not destined to stop how my Dad did I guess the Good Lord has other plans for me and my story that I share. I have to look at this addiction as a journey and I just need to find the right road. Okay, I have really rambled............ I tend to do that. I have a blog under and alias and I ramble there also. So, I look forward to the support and warmth and encouragement from others who are in the same or similiar shoes.

As of now I have three drinks. Of course Vodka. I'm buzzed. It's been since lunch that I have eaten. I hope to stop here. I am going to pop in a CD and dance to burn of energy and get those good endorphins going. I hope to get hooked on those. I will eat and hopefully go to bed after I take my last round to suppelments for and meds for the day.

I will write somewhere if I find an appropiate place if I have more tonight. I will have to give it my best attempt. Now to go dance............rambling over..........

Huggs and Thankyou's...........:toasted:

[Myohmy]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Hi there Just H
I am new too, and I am also not AF YET.....working on it with you....we can all stick together here!!
Love, My

[moosedrool]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Hello Just H,
I'm new here as well and willing to stick out. However, it sure would be a lot easier to go get a six pack and watch the LSU/Norte Dame game tonight. But, I'm not going to fool myself anymore and work hard to get this done. Let's do this, uh?

[Myohmy]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Welcome justh and moosedrool

Hey Moosedrool....
Hey to you too....welcome aboard from an also new person!!:h :new:

[moosedrool]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Hello Myohmy,
Thank you, and hey to you too. Looks like us newbies have some work to do.

[rosy]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Hey J, Moose & My. I just joined yesterday too. J ..I am totally with you on the binge thing, been there for a while also.
Today is day 4 AF free for me , was quite hard last night but I did it and feel good about myself today.
Love and support to you all.

[Popeye]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

:welcome: Hi Justh
Welcome to a great place. Isn't google wonderful. That's how I found MWO a while back. I was drinking at least 3 bottles of vodka a week, sometimes 4, sometimes 1 1/2 a day.
My ultimate aim is to be totally AF. I've had enough and I don't want any more. Over the holidays I had a slip but it wasn't too bad. I cannot believe the change in my drinking habits. The only real problem is trying to occupy myself otherwise. I am working on that.
You seem to have the will, and therefore as the saying goes,the way. Keep reading and posting. That was the first advice that I was given when I started, and it's good advice.
Myohmy, Moosedrool, and rosy.....:welcome:

[Lotus]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Myohmy, Mooesdrol, Rosy and Just h :welcome:

I am new myself and already I feel as if I am part of an extended family here. Today is my 3 day of AF and so far I feel very good, but the real test will be the weekend.

Hope to hear more from you all and together we support each other through our ups and downs.

All the best.

Mandy x

[daisy]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Hi Just H, Im new here too. Today will be day 3 af. This seems like a great place for encourgment ,advice and new friends.

[Determinator]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

I'm really impressed with all the positive attitudes everyone! I managed to have a pretty good nov and most of dec of 2006 but somehow during holidays forgot how awful it was to be wasted...then in withdrawals. gotta fix my broken memory!

[lorisunshine]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Welcome!

Welcome Just H,
You have come to the right place. Just order the book, discs and perhaps the supplements, but for now read as many posts as possible. You will learn to like yourself a bit more when you find out that you are not alone with this struggle.
Again, welcome and good luck.:welcome:
Lori

[just h]

I'm new here and wanted to say hi.

Thanks everyone

Thank you everyone for making me feel welcome. Also, hello to all the fellow newbies.

Well, last night didn't go well. I did say I'm an "alcoholic" out loud. I said it again this morning. I've never been able to say that. I woke up not remembering the end of the night once again. I cried in the shower and then just cried with Hubby. He just hugged me and said we'll get through this and that he's not going anywhere. It was such a difficult morning. Thank God I had to go to work. Work helps me focus and feel normal once again. Right now I'm setting my goal to be AF until Sunday. I'm not gonna think about after Sunday right now. So, I will see how this goes. One baby step at a time.