Been snooping around for the last few weeks, in that old familiar cycle of stopping drinking, feeling tormented and agitated ALL the time - this rush of energy and feelings of happiness just never showed up, and after nearly 30 days threw the towel in and carried on as if nothing ever happened. 8 months later, two stone heavier, looking like crap, totally skint, coming around to the realistation I need to sort myself out AGAIN. I just don't know whats gonna happen to me. I don't even know if I want to stop because it's all I seem to want to do, all the time.
So here we go, again, no drink tomorrow, will see how that goes. Not feeling sorry for myself, glad to still have a (albeit faint) bit of hope that this circus will stop, and I can feel in control of my life for a change.
Great to see some old faces, proud of the ones who've stuck at it. Can't help but feel like a looser. Yup, lets have another bash
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