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Shy hello...again :-(

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    Shy hello...again :-(

    Hi everyone, back again, my wagons been outta sight for about 8 months now :upset:
    Been snooping around for the last few weeks, in that old familiar cycle of stopping drinking, feeling tormented and agitated ALL the time - this rush of energy and feelings of happiness just never showed up, and after nearly 30 days threw the towel in and carried on as if nothing ever happened. 8 months later, two stone heavier, looking like crap, totally skint, coming around to the realistation I need to sort myself out AGAIN. I just don't know whats gonna happen to me. I don't even know if I want to stop because it's all I seem to want to do, all the time.
    So here we go, again, no drink tomorrow, will see how that goes. Not feeling sorry for myself, glad to still have a (albeit faint) bit of hope that this circus will stop, and I can feel in control of my life for a change.
    Great to see some old faces, proud of the ones who've stuck at it. Can't help but feel like a looser. Yup, lets have another bash

    #2
    Shy hello...again :-(

    Hi Noodle welcome back. It's never to late to step off of that bloody merry go round and by coming back and trying again you have already proven you are not a loser. Why not start odat and pretty soon the days will be clocking up again.
    Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

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      #3
      Shy hello...again :-(

      Loser, seems a bit harsh in my opinion. This affliction has the ability to get a pretty good strong hold on us. Although, I admit, feeling much like that when I was drinking. Waking up everyday, saying...........Today is the day, well at least untill 3:00 hit and the cravings started creeping in.

      The good news is that it CAN be done, lots of people on here proving that daily. Its kinda like coffee, as kids we never needed that first cup of go go juice to funciton, nor did we need to pour poison down our throats.

      It was a long time in the making, and it will probably be a long time in the "unmaking" (I feel so Dr. Suess like when I make up words....LOL)


      Im sure you know the rundown, if you've been here a while....toolbox, hydrate, redirect your thoughts when you have a craving(surf the urge, till its gone)


      When you REALLY want it, and for whatever reason that you REALLY want it....you WILL do it......Henry Ford said it best Whether you think you can, or whether you think you cant....you are right.


      I wish you all the strength, knowledge and support needed to conquer this beast my friend.
      Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




      DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

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        #4
        Shy hello...again :-(

        Thanks KTAB and Nelz. Sounds like a plan xx

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          #5
          Shy hello...again :-(

          Hi Noodle,

          I think most here have been in your place at one time or another. I for one spent the entire fall where you are right now. Just as the there is one little voice saying "go ahead drink, you deserve it" I had another voice that said "this has to stop!". After giving it three quits before I'm back and working it. Best to you Noodle. We can't stop trying.
          2023 - focus, getting it done, and living the way it should be and being the person I need to be.

          Comment


            #6
            Shy hello...again :-(

            hiya Noodle,
            YEs yes that is my story as well. stopped last march for 6 weeks. felt great. then talked myself into thinking i had conquered the demon. with"oh you can have just one or 2"... NOPE you can't.. i was back on the daily drinking binge for months. then stopped again in november for 3 weeks. and then Xmas came..(there is always an excuse) so this is number 3 for me as well. and this time i feel truly different. Not sure why but I do. just keep coming here and chatting. I was skeptical in the beginning but it really helps to hear everyones stories.

            caper
            caper
            AF since Sept 2013...
            :alf:

            Comment


              #7
              Shy hello...again :-(

              Welcome back, Noodle!
              I remember reading your posts last year. I've given it many tries, finally hit bottom in November and went to rehab and have been AF since then--just one day at a time! This place gives me such support, and I read and post every day. I truly believe that if I can do this, anybody can!!
              Keep posting and get your plan in place!!
              :welcome:TDN
              "One day at a time."

              Comment


                #8
                Shy hello...again :-(

                8 days AF

                Hi Guys its so good to hear I am not the only one on this boat, I have been AF for 8 days after trying so many times before, I am hoping now that I have found this site this could be the last. Dreading nights out etc as everyone I know drinks any tips would be greatly appreciated
                Stella

                Back to the beginning day 02 Jan 2013

                Grateful for MWO :thanks:

                Comment


                  #9
                  Shy hello...again :-(

                  Hello Stella, you are certainly not the only one in this boat. There are 1000s of members from all over the world on this site. There are many ways of beating this and reading the book and putting plan together is a good start. Have you checked out this thread?

                  https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...box-27556.html

                  Edit; meant to say well done on your 8 days, you will be counting in weeks soon.
                  Ethanol is a toxic chemical, why would I drink it?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Shy hello...again :-(

                    Noodle, glad you came back - so much better to try again than continuing down the same dead end road.

                    Sending you peace and strength.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Shy hello...again :-(

                      Hi Noodle
                      I had 34 days of sobriety a year ago and then caved in. It feels like a broken record...over and over and over...but I'm back trying again. Good luck to all of us!
                      When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.
                      -- Franklin D Roosevelt --

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                        #12
                        Shy hello...again :-(

                        Thanks

                        Thanks guys xx
                        Yeah I reckon it's best to keep trying, trying what I just don't know. Tonight will be my first sober one for about 10 months, so this will be a good time to plan - plan what I want, and how I can possibly do it. Fact is I'm scared, scared of a sober life, scared of failure and scared about my liver which must be a ticking time bomb.
                        This site sure restores my faith in human nature. :thanks:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Shy hello...again :-(

                          Hey noodle. welcome back - I remember you from earlier, my daughters nickname is noodle, so have a soft spot for anyone with that name. you and I have similar thoughts, and feelings but we can do this and everyday we will slowly reverse the thoughts to having more desire to be AF and less to drink! Not a loser, you are a winner - now go prove it!
                          “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Shy hello...again :-(

                            Hi Noodle - very happy that you are back ......... I'd love to have more NZ company!!! Do you have plans for this evening?? It is such nice weather here at the moment - can you plan for a walk later on, or something that will give you something to do to take your mind off it? Dont forget that there is an "Underoos and Mates" thread which consists of people in our time zone, and it is reasonably active in the evenings at the moment with a few people having a hard time, and a few others sharing some adventures. You will be welcomed with open arms there - actually you will be welcomed with open arms on most threads on this site (and yes it sure does restore you faith in human nature!!)

                            I know that feeling of being scared, and it is rooted in the belief that life without alcohol is somehow worse than with it. And that I'll have to learn how to deal with things without my crutch. But in years and years of having fought this addiction (and with many lapses and relapses along the way), the one thing that I truly know to be true is that my life is so much better when I'm not drinking and that I should be more scared of relapsing than of remaining AF.
                            Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn

                            Harriet Beecher Stowe

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