In an effort to "stay in touch" and accountable I thought I would post that this evening is my second in a row without my daily bottle (s) of wine. It has been a challenge today, and I was so very tempted to fall into my pattern of "oh who CARES anyway!"
I am self employed, and over the holidays have worked a grand total of two days in two weeks, so when today's job cancelled at the last minute, I almost did what I usually do when that happens and that is head out for my first bottle of wine to help me enjoy my day off and not feel the fear of financial concerns that arise when one is not generating income :upset:
And then I thought back to the movie that I watched for the second time last night, The Secret, which is an in-depth look at the Law of Attraction, and a lightbulb went off in my head, HEY...if I am to believe (and I do) that I attract into my life the types of experiences that are consistent with my low feelings of self-worth, and drinking contributes in a BIG way to my feelings of low self worth, then hmmm....I bet each time I make the decision to NOT drink, to feel GOOD about myself, I am upping my chances greatly of having more positive things (like an abundance of work) flow into my experience.
So as scared and freaked out as I have felt all day, I have been clinging to this idea, and all of the ideas in the movie, and considering them in relation to my constant self abuse, and choosing self care instead.
I remember once when I was five months sober and I actually loved myself for a change. I was radiant and peaceful. I have also never had such a great year financially as I did that year. I know it was no accident. And if it could happen that time, it can happen again. I just have to be kind to myself and let it :wavin:
Thank you for listening:thanks:
Roxy
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