Making a Big Plan

[looking for peace]

I haven't been posting for awhile, but have been reading a lot. I have a long history, which I won't rehash. I'm posting in the just starting out section because this is a new beginning for me. Anyway, I have been moderating since new years eve and have actually done quite well. I have had more AF days in the last two weeks than I have had in three years, the evenings that I did drink, I have stuck to three or less. I have not had a hangover.

My problem is, I hate it. I hate trying to control something that for me is uncontrollable. Its like trying to keep a tiger on a leash. The self loathing is no better than when I'd drink a bottle or more of wine every night. The only time I feel good about myself are during my abstinent days. I want drinking out of my life, but another part of me wants to hang on for dear life.

I have never stated a commitment to be abstinent for any period of time for fear of failing. I am ready now to make the commitment to not drink. I want to be accountable and want to post about this everyday. What is the best thread for me to do this? I don't want to create my own. Thanks for the support upfront

[MWOLady]

Making a Big Plan

You could try the Newbies Nest....lots and lots of posts - actually you have to hang on to your hat because they fly by so quick....which is good because you have the choice to jump in and post a lot, or you can just read a lot until you decide you want in.

Don't make any commitment right now, other than TODAY WILL BE DAY ONE. Make that commitment every day. That way you won't feel that horrible pressure that may drive you into the bottle again. I too tried to moderate for a long time but I drank every day!! Today is day 16 for me and I'm doing well, with a little help from Topamax. Welcome!!!!

And eventually, when you feel more comfortable, we'd like to hear your story if you want to tell it. We all learn so much from each other.

[Lavande]

Making a Big Plan

peace,

Good for you, happy to hear you are ready to commit yourself to an AF life, you won't be sorry
Come on over to the Daily & Monthly Abstinence threads ~ we are serious about maintaining our sobriety there.

Wishing you the best

Lav

[mylife]

Making a Big Plan

Hello Looking -

I can very much relate to your post. When I've tried to moderate I haven't been that unsuccessful either, however I hate the feeling and always feel so much better when I'm just not drinking.

Good luck on your journey and congratulations on your committment!!

[mario]

Making a Big Plan

Looking for peace the Monthly abstinence thread have a monthly thread in which a lot of people post daily.They are a very supportive gang and if your goal is abstinence this be great place to post,There current thread is called https://www.mywayout.org/community/f1...3-a-54751.html, jump in and say hello,tell em i sent ya :H

[Lavande]

Making a Big Plan

Hop in there & say hello yourself Mario :H

[windy]

Making a Big Plan

I have never stated a commitment to be abstinent for any period of time for fear of failing. I am ready now to make the commitment to not drink. I want to be accountable and want to post about this everyday. What is the best thread for me to do this? I don't want to create my own. Thanks for the support upfront

Looking for Peace --- Great idea -- I never was so serious as the day I came here and declared I was committed to abstaining from alcohol for 100 days from today over 100 days ago. Actually doing that is such a bold way was the only way for me to truly follow thru with my plan. I did start a thread but abandoned it shortly and stated posting daily on the Newbies Nest and posted there almost every day. There are so many good threads to post on daily and I know you will find the right place for you. Coming here and making that statement really was the beginning of a much needed period of abstinence for me, which I am now committed to long term. You can do it too! I am rooting for you.

[Chillgirl]

Making a Big Plan

Looking for Peace - It was wonderful to read your post for several reasons.
Ist off you perfectly describe my feelings about moderating regarding control. To me the effort in having to police the no. of drinks all the time is both extremely stressful and exhausting. Although you have done well, inevitably remaining forever vigilant is impossible and all our sucessful predecessors will confirm that it is always a downhill spiral.

Next you use the word "accountability" and for me it was one of the most vital ingredients for remaining sober. Checking in here every day gave me that and the shared pride of getting through another day or week sober collectively contains such powerful energy.

[Liath]

Making a Big Plan

I can relate. My attempts at moderating (even when successful) fill me with anxiety, because I know the truth. I want more. It is insane, but there it is. I am at a crossroads myself and ready to commit to 30 days. The anxiety is just too much. Hang in there! Our minds are very tricky when it comes to alcohol..