I HATE that I want to drink right now. I hate football. I hate that my brother slippe after 3 weeks sober and rationalized drinking at home and it makes me want to drink even more. I hate that alcohol has ruined everything good in my life and I still want to drink.
Dear Alcohol,
I fucking hate you. You ruined my mother. You ruined my childhood. You annihilated my innocence. Once I was out of the house, you made me choose alcoholic men so you could still be close to me. You made me be a mother to my own mother. You made me think for years I could help these alcoholics in my life who drained the breath from me. And once I was safely away from those relationships, that's when you really dug your claws into me. I didn't even realize what an insidious fucking snake you are, that when I was finally free from being a victim of other people's alcoholism, you had taken me and my brother for yourself. You turned us into the very thing we hate and despise and I can't find you to wrap my hands around your neck and strangle the life out of you like you have done to my family. You laugh while we do all of those things we despised in our parents growing up. You delight when we wreck our cars, get arrested, lose the respect of our friends, co-workers, families and children. It turns you on when we crave you just by thinking about you, or looking at you.
I got two words. FUCK YOU.
It stops here. You cannot steal my joy, or my kids childhood. The cycle ends.
Don't let the door hit you in the ass.
No love,
Me
Comment