Hi Everyone,
I got my supplements and hypno tapes yesterday and I think I am really ready. For the past few days I have been contemplating the reasons I want to quit drinking, realizing that there is more chance of success if I am striving towards something positive, versus quitting "because it's not good for me." So I wanted to list those reasons.
1. I want to stop feeling shame and start feeling respect.
I finally "get" that drinking is keeping me bound by shame. The more disrespectfully I treat myself with abuse, the more shame I feel, the more shame I feel, the more I disrespect myself by trying to numb the shame. I admit I have been quite dense about this, but it really is as simple as Quit the drink; feel self respect. Keep drinking. Keep feeling shame
2. I want to be pretty again.
I have gained so much weight from drinking that I can't wear most of my clothes. But I also don't want to buy new ones because I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Another cycle that I'm betting will resolve itself quite nicely without the consumption of two bottles of wine each night.
3. I want to be part of the world again.
Drinking has kept me so isolated because I don't want people to know about it, so I keep everyone at a distance.
4. I want to live an honest life.
By making everyone around me believe I have quit, yet still drinking in private, I am living a lie. Another source of shame.
5. I want to feel joy.
I spend so much time feeling crappy, recovering from hangovers and feeling guilty, there is no room for joy.
6. I want to start enjoying my life.
By all counts, I am a very blessed person, surrounded by people who love me, a nice home, good job, the world is pretty much my oyster if I would allow myself to enjoy it.
7. I want to thrive.
"Thriving", at least not at this moment, is not a word I would use to describe myself. Right now I am surviving, and that's about it.
8. I want my eyes to sparkle.
I ALWAYS notice when people have clear, bright eyes, probably because they are such a sharp contrast to my dull, lifeless (red!) eyes. One time when I was sober for five months, I remember my radiance. I lost 10 pounds, my clothes looked great on me, my eyes sparkled and I remember thinking I could actually catch a glimpse of a peaceful soul behind them.
9. I want my soul to be allowed to live.
Drinking is really killing my soul. I can feel it.
10. I want to feel peaceful.
Drinking makes me so sad all the time.
Okay. So those are my top 10 positive reasons to begin this journey. I feel like I am really ready. I have my supplements to heal my body and the people on this board to help me with my brain
Thank you all for being here and I am really looking forward to the road ahead :thanks:
love,
Roxy
I got my supplements and hypno tapes yesterday and I think I am really ready. For the past few days I have been contemplating the reasons I want to quit drinking, realizing that there is more chance of success if I am striving towards something positive, versus quitting "because it's not good for me." So I wanted to list those reasons.
1. I want to stop feeling shame and start feeling respect.
I finally "get" that drinking is keeping me bound by shame. The more disrespectfully I treat myself with abuse, the more shame I feel, the more shame I feel, the more I disrespect myself by trying to numb the shame. I admit I have been quite dense about this, but it really is as simple as Quit the drink; feel self respect. Keep drinking. Keep feeling shame
2. I want to be pretty again.
I have gained so much weight from drinking that I can't wear most of my clothes. But I also don't want to buy new ones because I hate looking at myself in the mirror. Another cycle that I'm betting will resolve itself quite nicely without the consumption of two bottles of wine each night.
3. I want to be part of the world again.
Drinking has kept me so isolated because I don't want people to know about it, so I keep everyone at a distance.
4. I want to live an honest life.
By making everyone around me believe I have quit, yet still drinking in private, I am living a lie. Another source of shame.
5. I want to feel joy.
I spend so much time feeling crappy, recovering from hangovers and feeling guilty, there is no room for joy.
6. I want to start enjoying my life.
By all counts, I am a very blessed person, surrounded by people who love me, a nice home, good job, the world is pretty much my oyster if I would allow myself to enjoy it.
7. I want to thrive.
"Thriving", at least not at this moment, is not a word I would use to describe myself. Right now I am surviving, and that's about it.
8. I want my eyes to sparkle.
I ALWAYS notice when people have clear, bright eyes, probably because they are such a sharp contrast to my dull, lifeless (red!) eyes. One time when I was sober for five months, I remember my radiance. I lost 10 pounds, my clothes looked great on me, my eyes sparkled and I remember thinking I could actually catch a glimpse of a peaceful soul behind them.
9. I want my soul to be allowed to live.
Drinking is really killing my soul. I can feel it.
10. I want to feel peaceful.
Drinking makes me so sad all the time.
Okay. So those are my top 10 positive reasons to begin this journey. I feel like I am really ready. I have my supplements to heal my body and the people on this board to help me with my brain
Thank you all for being here and I am really looking forward to the road ahead :thanks: love,
Roxy
Thanks Lush
Control the Mind
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